Sunday, May 8, 2011

Beard-on-veil action

Will Durst on bin Deaden:

The most-wanted man on the planet. Found. And you had to admire the way it was done; members of Navy SEAL Team Six firing two warning shots into the head. One for each tower. The target was totally unarmed and never had a chance. That's known as synchronicity. Live by the sneak attack, die by the sneak attack.

In a way, it's too bad we ditched him so soon. Mucho bucks could have been raised by touring the country giving ordinary folks a chance to pose with the corpse like they used to do in the Old West. "Get your picture taken with the Butcher of 9/11. 10 bucks." Could have carted the remains around in a refrigerated casket shoved onto the bed of a Ford F- 250 traveling to County Fairs and Tractor Pulls. Like what happened with the World Series trophy only with more punching. Eventually the cadaver would end up in Vegas with its own Cirque du Soleil show, or as one of the stiffer stiffs on "Dancing With the Stars."

We also managed to retrieve a sizable cache of computer disks, which hopefully will reveal a vast network of terrorist contacts and sleeper-cell structures, but we all know what's really on them. Porn. Hot stuff. Muslim women wearing see-through burqas. Beard-on-veil action.

But now, thank god, this whole thing is over and our troops can come home and we won't have to take off our shoes at the airport anymore and can turn our attention to hunting down the next-biggest threat to democracy: Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

Hear, hear!

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