Torture Enabler John Yoo Tries Again to Justify His Awful Existence

I've got a double-dip of loathing for that bastard, not only for enabling torture but for teaching law, fer chrissakes, at what used to be a prestigious University of California system which I've lost a lot of respect for because of their hiring of him. If I was Jerry Brown I'd run him outta town on a rail after he served his prison sentence. Or drop him off in Oakland with hunnert dollar bills sticking outta every pocket.

The Rude Pundit

In other words, John Yoo is a motherfucker. The dude who crafted the legal justification for the CIA to use waterboarding and other charming "enhanced interrogation techniques" has been out in the right-wing nutzoidosphere frantically re-re-re-arguing that the killing of Osama bin Laden has given his pathetic life meaning. Here he is in today's Wall Street Journal (motto: "Rupert Murdoch's asshole smells of wallaby meat"): "Sunday's success also vindicates the Bush administration...The United States located al Qaeda's leader by learning the identity of a trusted courier from the tough interrogations of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the architect of the 9/11 attacks, and his successor, Abu Faraj al-Libi." Except, you know, chances are that Mohammed didn't give up the real info until after the torture ended.

Then Yoo disappears into fantasyland, where a pussy Barack Obama can't tie his own shoes, let alone deal with terrorists: "Imagine what would have happened if the Obama administration had been running things immediately following 9/11. After their 'arrest,' we would have read KSM and al-Libi their Miranda rights, provided them legal counsel, sent them to the U.S. for detention, and granted them all the rights provided a U.S. citizen in criminal proceedings." He faults Obama for not capturing bin Laden alive and then torturing him (no, really). He concludes by calling on the President to restart the interrogation techniques.

Goddamnit, you gotta give Yoo points for consistency. This motherfucker has been making his pro-torture case for years now. He is out there constantly, making sure that his legacy, long after his foul tenure ended, is something more than "that creepy cocksucker who degraded America." No, he's gotta make it that he is responsible in some small way for getting to bin Laden, when, in reality, all he did was piss on the Constitution because, he said, the ink needed a good cleaning.

The Bush maladministration spent an awful lot of effort to defeat and shred the Constitution, that "goddam piece of paper". Torture is still illegal and still a war crime that we've hanged people for. And should again.

Of course, the people we hanged mostly lost wars to us. Our officials that have done it see themselves as big brave heroes for doing it when they're really cowards and bullies and war criminals. I'd like to see how brave and heroic they are standing on the trapdoor with the noose around their necks. I bet it'd smell real bad.