Friday, January 20, 2012

How to survive an SF cold snap

If it's Friday it must be two days past Wednesday which means Morford's late and going off on the weather in Frisco.

Here's a fun fact: Every wonderful female I have ever known in San Francisco has complained about the weather like it was a pissy Old Testament God and they were tormented, forlorn Job. Every. Single. One.

It's true. The mercury drops 15 degrees and suddenly their toes turn to ice, they can't feel their faces and their ears fall completely off, and with blue, chattering lips buried beneath nine layers of fleece, they will say this is the absolute coldest they have ever felt in their entire lives, despite the fact it's still 52 degrees out and the sun is blazing and they're standing in line outside Bi-Rite to buy baby panda-flavored ice cream for something like $17 a lick. I love them all.
...

[...] Which is why, male or female, if you're going to live in San Francisco, you need lots and lots of...

Alcohol. What, you think God invented rum and whisky and anejo tequila for the hell of it? For binge-drinking old people and irresponsible frat boys named Greg? I don't think so.

Heh. Get a few shots in Granny and she wants to do stuff the youngsters think they invented! With frat boys...

7 comments:

Fixer said...

Heh ... Like rain in LA.

Gordon said...

Trust me, it rains in L.A. It is said that when it rains in New York, people get wet, and when it rains in L.A., people get killed. It's true. Their windshield wipers have rotted away and their tires may not have enough tread on then. Fine for the usual weather, deadly when it rains. Roofs leak, plugged-up storm drains back up, hillsides wash away, streets turn into rivers. It's no joke, mostly because people aren't used to it and do stupid things.

Fixer said...

Yeah, I been there when a storm was forecast. Me and the Mrs. were giggling our ass off because the weather coverage was the same hysteria we do for 2 feet of snow. Ain't nobody has good tires here either and they wreck all the time in the snow but we just take it in stride. What fucks us up is crazy shit, like earthquakes and no snow this far into winter.

Gordon said...

Earthquakes? Crazy shit? Bwahahahahahaha! ;-)

David Aquarius said...

The LA Times called us 'snow wimps'. What a crock!

There were more than our share of idiots on the roadways during our little snow flurry but most of those dipsticks migrated up from SF or LA.

I've seen folks in LA don arctic expedition wear when the temp gets way down to 55 deg. and they call us wimps!

I asked my dad, who lives out in Eastern WA, how he was faring. He started on about global warming fucking up his weather, how they only had a foot and a half of snow.

He's expecting a hot summer with tinder dry forests. You want a disaster, try putting out 100,000 acres of forest fire with a shovel and a hoe.

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