WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) April 1, 2012 – In an April Fool's Day announcement that took the political world by storm, the Republican Party revealed today that its entire presidential race had been an elaborate prank.
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Former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain agreed that the prank had gone well, but added, "I'm just amazed that the American people never figured out we were kidding."
"I mean, I kept saying ‘9-9-9' every four seconds, which was total and utter bullshit," he said. "And everything out of Michele's mouth made her sound like a mental patient."
"True that," Rep. Bachmann agreed.
Texas Governor Rick Perry said he worried that "every time I screwed up at a debate people would figure out I was pulling their legs," but added, "The American people seemed to accept the idea that a Governor of Texas could be a blithering idiot."
When one reporter mentioned that Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) was not at the press conference, a sudden silence fell over the gathering.
"Did anyone ever tell Ron this was supposed to be a prank?" Mr. Romney asked. "Holy cow, maybe he's really serious."
Ha. Fucking. Ha. Next time do something funny instead of mean-spirited and pathetic.
2 comments:
"The American people seemed to accept the idea that a Governor of Texas could be a blithering idiot."
I accept the idea that just about every Republican is a blithering idiot.
Me too.
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