Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I Totally Believe President Mittens Q. Romney

The Political Garbage Chute.
Of course you didn’t say it. The polls were also very skewed, as you know, having won election in November of last year. By the way, how excited are you to be in the Oval Office right now, Mitt? Oops! I’m sorry, President Mitt? It must also feel really great to know your Vice-President’s budget’s been signed into law and you’re going to be signing the two-second abortion ban bill that makes all abortions post-ejaculation legally defined as “murder.” Everything is coming up Mitt these days isn’t it?

So you’re right, President Romney. Even though we all saw and heard the tape of you making your infamous “47%” remarks, we didn’t actually see that. Even though the tape very clearly shows you, calling half the country moochers and freeloaders, we didn’t actually see or hear that. Even though you repeated that bullshit about “free stuff” all during the election and even after it, you’re right, we didn’t hear it. It didn’t actually happen. Nothing that happened last year actually happened, and you and your Republican friends are in no danger of sliding even further off the map of national relevancy by becoming reality deniers at all.
The joy is in between those quotes. Go. Laugh. Be thankful it is not so.

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