Palin Advises Tea Partiers: 'Stop' Cars With Obama Bumper Stickers

TPM LiveWire

Less than a week after a Nashville man was driven off the road because his car sported an Obama-Biden bumper sticker, Sarah Palin has called on Tea Partiers to stop drivers whose cars have a similar sticker.

Or that bumper sticker you see on the next Subaru driving by, an Obama bumper sticker. You should stop the driver and say, "So how is that hopey, changey thing working out for you?"

This shit's gettin' out of hand. Between this and Scumbag Hannity's "McVeigh wannabes' remark, and some of the other bullshit, somebody's gonna get killed and sooner rather than later.

The rabble-rousers and shit-stirrers will evade responsibility by saying they were just trying to use humor to make a point, but they know damn good and well that there are plenty of loonies out on the fringe they cater to that will take this stuff literally, from people who will say, "I ain't no McVeigh wannabe. I'll prove it..." and blow somebody up, to fools who will actually try to pull over other drivers and fuck with them.

Please, please, please pull over that '92 Dakota with the Obama sticker. You'll be surprised how easy it is, unlike those Subarus who will call the cops and haul ass out of danger. Ask me how the hopey-changey stuff is goin'. Then ask yourself how the 911 call for the ambulance is goin'. You betcha.

If these idiots fuck with you, fuck back even harder. You can't change their minds, but you can change their faces. It's all in self-defense from a perceived threat. Of course it is.

The hell of it is that when confronted by danger or a threat of harm, in California at least, under the law you are expected to retreat rather than combat the threat. Sorry, judge, but my Drill Instructor didn't teach me how to do that.

I want to put some fear into these assholes, up close and personal, not at a distance like they're trying to do to us. I don't want to go to jail so I have to wait until one of them starts it, dammit. I think I'm developing an attitude. OK, the attitude I've had for years is getting worse. I don't like that in myself, but I can live with it.

A personal story. Yesterday at the Costco gas station, I started a conversation with a guy who was driving an early Falcon Ranchero. I told him how much I had wanted one of those 50 years ago when I was a kid. He had an SCTA license plate frame, so we chatted about Land Speed Racing a little. All very pleasant, until he said that under Obama we'd be racing rubber band powered cars because he was going to take our gasoline away. I didn't think fast enough to just tell him we'd have to learn to wind 'em up real tight so after a little more and rapidly devolving chitchat I just told him we'd had eight years under 'that bastard Bush' and it was our turn. He said that at least Bush was an American. Out of respect for the rule of law, or more properly respect for what the law can do to me, I just told him he was all wrong and walked away. We actually exchanged 'nice talkin' to yas' though I don't think either one of us meant it after the gearhead chat went away. There were no harsh words exchanged and that wasn't the place for a confrontation anyway. I fumed about it for ten minutes.

There oughta be a law that requires these yingyangs to wear floppy hats with teabags dangling off the brim so we can spot them easier and avoid them.

I still want a '60 Falcon Ranchero.

New Jersey to put ex-strippers to work weatherizing homes

Grist

The WeatherStrippers will seek to put caulking guns in the hands of disadvantaged former strippers through a 12-week, hands-on training program focused on efficient building erection and maintenance.

Between people actively and creatively punk'n us out, and business as usual amongst Repugs who don't understand there's no such thing as 'right-wing humor', I think April Fools Day should be a national holiday, a day of observance for the fools among us.

Exactly ...

The Republicans can plead their innocence and blame the Dems all they want, but their leaders know what's going on and are encouraging it:

HANNITY: When you think about the vast majorities that they have in Congress and they had to bribe, backroom deals, corruption, that’s all because the tea party movement, the people — all these Tim McVeigh wannabes here.

American Terrorism is the new black (in the fashion sense) for the Republicans. What do they call it? Sedition? I believe they have laws against that but I'm not holding out any hope Hannity will get his richly deserved federal fucking.

In case you've forgotten: Timothy McVeigh

Update:

Maybe I was wrong. Those fun-loving guys at the IRS are about to crawl up Scumbag Sean's ass.

Guam might capsize. Say WHAT?!!!

April Fool, right? One can only hope...

Hotlanta Journal-Constitution

WASHINGTON -- Is the island of Guam in danger of tipping over and capsizing?

U.S. Rep. Hank Johnson recently worried that it might be, according to a videotaped congressional hearing that is getting plenty of play online and over the airwaves.

Johnson's comments came during a House Armed Services Committee meeting as he questioned Adm. Robert Willard, commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, about the impact of U.S. troops on the little island.

"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," Johnson said, straight-faced and seemingly serious.

The admiral seemed to take the question seriously, too. "We don't anticipate that," [...]

Well played, Admiral! Gotta have a straight man!

One would think a congressman, especially a Democratic one, would know that an island is the top of a mountain and not a goddam canoe!

It gets funnier. Or just worse.

The derision online quickly gained momentum Thursday.

A note from a reader to a blog at National Review Online said, "My son is stationed on Guam. I just sent him the video and told him to run to the other side of the island. He said one of his shipmates showed up to work with a life vest on!"

On YouTube, about 75,000 visitors had viewed the video exchange through Thursday afternoon.

"Please Georgia, you gave us Cynthia McKinney, now Hank Johnson?" one commenter wrote.

Johnson issued a written statement Thursday as the mockery mounted.

You bet he did. You can hear it spinning like a top. Heh.

"I wasn't suggesting that the island of Guam would literally tip over," he said. . Johnson said he was "using a metaphor" to describe how adding more military personnel to the tiny island "could be a tipping point which could adversely affect the island’s fragile ecosystem and could overburden its stressed infrastructure."

Using a metaphor. Uh-huh, suuuure he was. Close, but no cigar, pal.

Perhaps Rep. Johnson's next career will be as a Somalian pirate...

That's it ...

Be an idiot:

A group of suspected pirates was captured Thursday after attacking a U.S. Navy frigate in the Indian Ocean, according to a statement released by the U.S. Sixth Fleet.

The USS Nicholas reported taking fire from a suspected pirate skiff shortly after midnight local time west of the Seychelles, the statement said. The Nicholas quickly returned fire and began pursuing the skiff, which was eventually disabled. A boarding team from the Nicholas subsequently captured and detained three people, the statement said.

...

Dumbasses should be glad they lived to tell everybody how stupid they are. Were I Nicholas' captain, they wouldn't be so lucky.

The gift that keeps on giving ...

That would be the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele, Chairman:

...

The Republican National Committee inadvertently sent a fundraising mail piece earlier this month with a return number that leads to a phone sex line offering to connect callers with "hot horny girls … students, housewives, and working girls from all over the country."

...

These guys gotta get laid more ... well, maybe not but at the least, they should stop watching internet porn.

Shopping Day

'Tis over the freshly snow covered hills and through the freshly snow covered woods we must go. I'll just leave ya with these:



Don't cover the children's eyes, cover your own! Oh, the horror...



See yas later.

Thanks to YubaNet.

What's the point?

When I see shit like this, I wonder why we bother:

Most Americans think that the Democrats not only did something illegitimate by passing health care reform on a party line vote, it was so illegitimate that they were asking for violence and vandalism by doing it. Good to know.

...

I guess you really can't fix stupid.

It has become seriously disenchanting to be an American lately. It's obvious that our people don't give a damn about the substance of anything. We've had some quite serious problems in this country but I think the refusal of a good portion of the American people to use their brains borders on a national dysfunction.

...

If that's the case, then our democratic system of government is effectively dead. Any minority party can simply block all legislation, make up a bunch of bullshit about "tactics," threaten them with violence and the people will back them. (Unless they are Democrats, of course, in which case they will be told the "elections have consequences" and be called obstructionists who refuse to allow the governing party the room they need to govern.)

...

We can't survive this way for long. I just hope I'm gone before the real decline begins. The end won't be pretty. In a century, the American Empire will be just another chapter in the history books.

In the Pink ...

Thank god for the Code Pink folks. It was wonderful to see Karl Rove getting his balls broken as he tries to make money from his raping of America:

Good for them for making sure that bastard can't appear in public without at least one voice raised to call him a murdering war criminal.

Headline of the Day dos

Pretty good article.

No Need to Thank Us, Hutaree: Anti-Government Militia Suspects Request Public Defenders

Lemme see if I get it - this brain dead buncha batcrap crazy wingier-than-wingnut phony xtians thinks the government is the cause of all their troubles and were plotting to destroy it by killing a coupla cops and starting a civil war. Yeah, like that was gonna happen. The last time I can think of that a 'general uprising' was planned was the Tet Offensive in '68. Didn't work then either, but I don't guess these clowns read much history. These ying-yangs' thinking was probably closer to Charles Manson's Helter Skelter. So when they get caught, instead of being cut down in a shitstorm of po-leece lead on the spot or up against a wall, or being Gitmo'd like the terrorists they are, they are now relying on said taxpayer-funded government to protect the same Constitutional rights they accuse the same government of trying to destroy. Through their mental fog they seem to understand that a free-market lawyer costs money they ain't got because no reputable employer will have anything to do with them because they're idiots and God seems to not be answering their call for Him to provide because He is hiding his face in shame that He made them in his own image because they're idiots. Hey, even the Almighty has a few warranty problems. Is that about right?

Who says irony is dead?

The real irony will be when the Public Defender, most of whom have better conviction rates than the District Attorney, gets 'em off. Heh.

What Jesus reads when he's naked

Double Old No. 7 and bleach, please...

If it's Wednesday, it must be Morford selling his just-released book which I'll probably buy. And maybe even read.

Often do I hear the scintillating words, "Oh sweet Jesus Mark, that column you just wrote about neurotic fundamentalists/the Zen of Obama/divine kinkiness/Canada's vile oilsands/gay Vatican lust/the need for more awe in the workplace just made my day/blasted coffee through my nose/completely wrecked my fragile relationship with my angry, born-again sister in Florida, and for that I should probably thank you.

"Not only that (these fine voices often continue), but so orgasmic/overcooked was that piece of writing that I decided before I even made it past the headline/second paragraph/part where you mention genital tattoos/high-fructose corn syrup/dark matter that I would forward it on to a select group of like-minded Wiccans/inmates/Texas Board of Education members, just to make them smile/convince them to sleep with me/ensure they hunt me down like a Mormon lesbian in Salt Lake City. Just FYI."

I finally wrote a book.

I should tell you about the hate mail. For "The Daring Spectacle" also contains nearly 50 prime examples of the nastiest, most gut-wrenching hunks of spittle I've received over the years, much of it so vile and low it could never be printed in this very column due to editorial policies governing hate speech and the misspelling of "faggit" and "commy." It is something to behold.

These messages, almost exclusively from exasperated ultraconservatives, make for quite the spectacular sideshow of anger, sexual angst and atrocious grammar. They are unedited, raw and included nearly verbatim. You've never read anything like them. Trust me.

There are columns in the book that nearly got me fired, columns that were banned/spiked by the paper and hence have never been read before, columns that made my editors wince and pray we wouldn't get vicious letters from the Catholic church or the Scientologists or about two-thirds of Texas. Which we invariably did anyway.

I repeat: "The Daring Spectacle" is available for ordering right now. It will be available everywhere else very soon, including the Kindle, though you'll miss all the cool pictures and formatting.

Much more, as usual.

If I can't buy the book right out of the trunk of Morford's car like a bluegrass band's CD, I'll wait until I can get it from BuzzFlash, which won't take very long, I betcha. I buy from them whenever I can because I get most of my good leads for posts off of there and I feel guilty and they need the money. Also, BF let me win a contest and gave me prizes and the gal who gives me the great customer service is a hotter'n blazes good Librul babe.

Sarah Palin, Neocon Messiah

Cleaning up barf...

Robert Scheer

Judge them by their enemies. More evidence that Barack Obama might be shaping up as a good president is that Norman Podhoretz hates him so much. In a Wall Street Journal column Monday the guru of the neoconservatives declared: “I would rather be ruled by the Tea Party than by the Democratic Party, and I would rather have Sarah Palin sitting in the Oval Office than Barack Obama.”

Be careful what you wish for, dipshit.

[...] He is joined in this embrace of the Palin rage by Bill Kristol, whose late father, Irving, was Podhoretz’s comrade in the long march from the far left to the far right. That shift brought the neoconservatives to the pinnacle of power in the Bush administration before they flamed out over the distortions of fact and logic they peddled as justification for the invasion of Iraq.

Among other things—and this was particularly important for Podhoretz, who for 35 years had edited Commentary, a leading journal in the Jewish community—the elimination of Saddam Hussein was supposed to leave Israel more secure. Instead, just the opposite has occurred as a consequence of the vastly increased power of Iran in the region thanks to the elimination of its most feared local adversary. Any effort to contain the power of Iran has been compromised by the leading role of the disciples of the Iranian ayatollahs in the politics of Iraq.

In a WSJ article from last September headlined “Why Are Jews Liberals?” which is also the title of his latest book, Podhoretz complained bitterly, “One of the most extraordinary features of Barack Obama’s victory over John McCain was his capture of 78% of the Jewish vote.” What followed was a self-hating tirade against his own: “Jews are by far the most liberal of any group in America.” In support of that view he quotes the sociologist Nathan Glazer, who argued that Jews, as opposed to any other immigrant group in America, have ignored their improving economic status and instead consistently supported “increased government spending, expanded benefits to the poor and lower classes, greater regulations on business, and the power of organized labor.”

Gee, d'ya think the Jews might have a better sense of their own history than these privileged, pampered neocon clowns? Perhaps they "have ignored their improving economic status" and not turned into dumbass greedy Repugs because they remember from whence they came? Their forebears came here penniless, for the most part, from the shtetls and ghettos of Eastern Europe precisely to escape oppression and to "improve their economic status", and now that a few generations have done just that, are returning something to those less fortunate than themselves.

Sure, there are right-wing Jews, just like there are right-wing gays, women, and people of color who espouse conservatism and vote against their own best interests for people who hold them in contempt. I do not understand why. Greed, self-loathing, and ignorance perhaps. Or maybe they want to be the rich old white men who run everything. Add 'delusion'.

What a great testament to the enduring decency of Jewish values that they have proved so capable of embracing social goals that transcend narrow class interest. What a wonderful refutation of historical anti-Semitism that Jews so consistently ignore personal economic gain to serve the larger good. Not so in the eyes of Podhoretz, who was immensely disappointed that the commitment of Jews to those enlightened views did not dissipate with the nomination of Obama but rather increased somewhat.

He bemoans the fact that the vast majority of Jews did not share his fear that Obama was too liberal or anti-Israel, but instead of chalking that up to an honest disagreement he invokes the language of the devil’s deception: “I am hoping against hope that the exposure of Mr. Obama as a false messiah will at last open the eyes of my fellow Jews to the correlative falsity of the political creed he so perfectly personifies and to which they have for so long been so misguidedly loyal.”

So what does that make Sarah Palin—the true messiah?

Maybe so. Every time I think of her ascendance to Queen Of The Tiny Brained I think "Jesus Fucking Christ!"

Ah, Spring!

Garrison Keillor in a piece about the return of Spring. My ass, Garrison. See post below this one.

It is spring glorious spring (da do ron ron ron da do ron ron) and our gallant president has rallied his fractious forces against wacko demagoguery, the crocuses are up, and birds are returning from the South, preferring to raise their children here in Minnesota where we pull our pants on one leg at a time and not all at once. Some people in Washington haven't managed to get their pants on in years.

Slowly, slowly, the simple fact dawns on the electorate that the Democrats have passed a moderate Republican healthcare reform. That's what it is. The frenzy on the right is pure fear of stepping out of line with the Republican politburo and getting shipped to Siberia. This lockstep mentality is rare in American history. Here is a grand old party frozen, suspended, mesmerized, in thrall to a gaggle of showboats and radio entertainers and small mobs of fist-shakers standing staunch for unreality, and no Republican elected official dares say, "Let us not be nuts." There will be books written about this in years to come, and they will not be kind to the likes of Rep. Boehner and Sen. McConnell.

No they will not, nor is there any reason to be kind to lying obstructionists who are doing their best (fortunately not very good) to wreck our country so they can retake power. Luckily, or perhaps because the greater percentage of Americans isn't as stupid as they think they are, it isn't working. Bastards.

The weather is still and clear

Still snowing and clear up to here.

Last week it was nice and sunny here, temp in the 50s, driveway was clear and dry. I was contemplating busting out the three foot wide and six inch thick glacier that was the last thing between me and a little spring freedom (by that I mean I stood there and looked longingly at my bike whilst leaning on my ice whacker).

Not so fast, homey.

It started raining on Monday, turned to snow Monday night, and it's been snowing ever since. This is not at all unusual this time of year. It snowed three feet on April 1 a few years ago. That was actually fun. You couldn't drive anywhere, but the whole neighborhood seemed to be out wading through it. We just stayed in the groove and followed it to the saloon three blocks away.

Ha-fuckin'-ha Ma Nature. Gotta have yer little joke, don'tcha, bee-yotch?

I took these pictures 5 minutes ago.

The trash can lid shows the amount of snow since it started. The snow on the snowthrower is since yesterday afternoon. Note the sturdy cardboard garage over the engine room. The two lumps behind it are bags of recycling waiting for pick-up tomorrow. I put one out on Monday, the other yesterday, thus the different amounts of snow.

Click to embiggen

There is a terrific upside to this kinda weather - the pups love it!



It's supposed to be clear tomorrow and snow again on Friday, so we'll move our monthly shopping trip up a day. Mrs. G sets her own work schedule and she came up with that. Note to self: thank yer lucky stars ya got one that can think!

I return control of your set now and resume normal programming.

Update:

The Sun just came out and reminded me of why I like it here. Gray skies to the west, but for the moment it's glorious!

Headline of the Day

Is your beauty oil made from goat turds?

In the hope that lips that touch goat turds will never touch mine, I must go and check the ingredients in Mrs. G's arsenal of skin care products...

Great photos at the link. No, really.

It's not terrorism ...

If white, Christian people do it.

Conservative intelligensia ...

The brain power is so great, it might form a black hole ... or something.

Quote of the Day

Nick Sarkozy:

... "If you come to France and something happens to you, you won’t be asked for your credit card before you’re rushed to the hospital."

Just like the old days ...

Back when we were pulling defectors out of the Soviet Union. Ah, the memories ...

An award-winning Iranian nuclear scientist, who disappeared last year under mysterious circumstances, has defected to the CIA and been resettled in the United States, according to people briefed on the operation by intelligence officials.

...

Looks like it went smoothly. Good fieldcraft on that op, I suspect. I remember times when it didn't.

...

Amiri, a nuclear physicist in his early 30s, went missing last June three days after arriving in Saudi Arabia on a pilgrimage, according to the Iranian government. He worked at Tehran's Malek Ashtar University, which is closely connected to Iran's Revolutionary Guard, according to the Associated Press.

...

Nice to see we're getting good intelligence now, as opposed to a double agent for Iran and a Baghdad cab driver. It would seem professionals are back in charge (or the White House is butting out) of our intelligence community.

Great thanks to Oliver Willis for the link.

Headline of the Day

GOP Complains Health Reform Bill Doesn’t Cover Armageddon Until 2012

With a comment by Mr. Spray Tan.

Also see:

The Ballad of John and Loco

Excerpt:

Drove to Tuscon with the big Barracuda
Notes on our hands, reached new lows
The liberal press says, 'what's with the cross-hairs'?
I said, "I really thought she just meant my nose"

You rock, Johnny! No, really, go home and rock on the porch.