How's that abstinance thing workin'?

When I hear about abstinance programs passing for sex education these days, I laugh my ass off. I lost my virginity when I was 13 and I ain't stopped yet. Ain't nothing they could have told me would have made me want to abstain once I got my first taste, so to speak. My most excellent blog partner (and the young un' among us) Nina alerts me to an NYT article that proves the point:

...

On teenage births, the same differences become clear. In New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts, about 5 percent of babies are born to teenage mothers, while in Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, New Mexico, South Carolina, Texas and Wyoming, 10 percent or more of all births are to teenage mothers.

The study also found that the percentage of births to unmarried mothers was highest in the South.

...

So, tell me how all that bible thumping, Jesus loving, moral values shit is supposed to work? All I know is, I went through junior high, high school, the military, and the rest of my life up to now without catching an STD or producing offspring. Know why? Because my mother (the responsibility for 'the talk' landed on her because dad spent every waking minute chasing a buck) knew the little horndog I was and she told me that if I was gonna drag it around, I was gonna do it responsibly. Love ya, ma, God rest your soul.

And just another lesson from mom that has paid off over the past 30 years. Make sure your woman is satisfied before you are. Guys take heed.