Tuesday, July 4, 2006

What type-o-dong wazzat, anyway?

It was a fireplug-with-ears lookin' one named Kim Jong Il. Me 'n Mrs. G had on CNN with the sound turned off while we played a new CD, so we got to read about N. Korea shootin' off a buncha missiles. Actually, it's not such a bad way to watch the endless bullshit they spew while they're waiting for the facts.

I got this picture in my little pea brain: Kim shows up in the control room for the big shoot with somethin' goin' on in his mind, namely a meltdown caused by his synapses all firing through a snootful of Dewar's.

I can just see him: "Crazy? You call me crazy?! You wanta see crazy? I'll show you fuckin' crazy!!" as he throws every switch he can find!

I feel for his rocket scientists and control room technicians: between laughin' their asses off and just knowin' they're gonna get stood up against a wall and shot, they don't know whether to shit or go blind.

And when Kim sobers up and finds out he shot off three years worth of rockets, maybe he'll calm down a little

If Bush had any fuckin' class he'd call Kim Jong Il up and thank him for helpin' celebrate our Independence Day by shootin' off all them fireworks!

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