Tuesday, November 14, 2006

"We clap for fairies"

Will Durst, a Frisco resident, on Nancy Pelosi and Baghdad by the Bay.

For those of you who can't wait to get Nancy Pelosi down on the ground to shave her head and expose her horns, I regret to inform you, they aren't there. She's a kindly old grandma now, and although her smile does look like some fiend is twisting a knobby pole inserted up her butt, the ironic part is, in San Francisco, this supposedly frighteningly extreme liberal is considered a moderate often is protested by leftist factions for planting herself too deep in the mainstream and selling out. And yeah, some of those factions also believe the same is true of Fidel. The best way to analyze "The City," as we presumptively call ourselves, is to look to the movies. Like in "The Wizard of Oz," when Dorothy says, "we're not in Kansas anymore," that's our motto. Then, at the end of "Peter Pan," where Tinkerbell almost dies and the only thing that can save her is audience applause. Well, that's us too. We're not Kansas and we clap for fairies. So what? Big deal. Who cares?

San Francisco beliefs center on the rights of the individual. Our biggest moral flaw is we hate judgmental people, a bit of an internal fallacy, I'll admit. We go out of our way not to place restrictions on people or their actions or religions or appearances. When you think about it, what they're really afraid of is the freedoms the citizens of San Francisco enjoy. That's right, they hate us for our freedoms.

The fairies in EssEff even have their own building. They just can't spell for shit.

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