7) Speaking of needful females, as mentioned in a previous column, after a million years and two million studies and roughly three billion fake orgasms, the female anatomy remains as inscrutable as a gay Republican at an anti-gun rally. Recent example: Try as they might, British scientists simply could not prove the existence of the acclaimed G-spot, that mythological cervical hotbutton in the female anatomy reportedly responsible for laughter in small children, peace in the Middle East, the perfect Manhattan, and -- perhaps quite literally -- the Big Bang.
Of course, being British, they were reportedly employing large hunks of fried cod, heavy dark beer, and an antique brass 1874 ship's compass to try and find the damn thing. Also, they were looking in the ear. So, you know, caveat emptor.
I believe it. I've seen Limey motorcycles...
Don't miss No. 8. What'll they think of next?
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