In a development believed to have caused Thursday's international run on duct tape and tinned goods, an opinion poll this week suggested Fox News is the most trusted news operation in America. Dig into the data and it's a little more nuanced and complex than "flood's a comin'", but what it shakes down to is that 49% of Americans trust Fox. The survey of 1,151 registered voters was greeted by much wailing and gnashing of teeth – making it in many ways resemble a broadcast by Fox's most eye-catching lab experiment, Glenn Beck.
If the wailers and gnashers weren't such godless liberals, of course, they'd be thumbing their way to the bit in the Book of Revelation that predicts exactly this occurrence, but instead they have been plunged into shock. Yet is it all that surprising? Whether Rupert Murdoch's news network is to your taste or not, you have to concede that it is an awesomely effective product, and the news-as-telenovela concept has revolutionised the marketplace.
On the plus side, this week also saw Forbes magazine reveal the results of its poll to find America's 10 most trusted celebrities. And the Forbes poll doesn't so much put the Fox stuff into perspective as put the whole idea of trust into perspective.
Put it this way: top of the list was James Earl Jones. Now, you can tell me all you like that when people trust James, they're trusting His Majesty King Jaffe Joffer in Coming to America. You can tell me that they feel comforted by his regal vocal presence in the Lion King. But you know in your heart that subconsciously, what they're trusting is Vader. People trust Darth Vader. And that's because people are stupid, and quite frightened, and it's quite easy to lie to them. Still, as no Fox News presenter has ever said while shrugging their shoulders, whaddayougonnadoaboutit?
As with Hollywood, so with this golden age of news-o-tainment. People will trust any old nutjob if they somehow inhabit the role, and then they're hooked. There was a long-running series of US pharmaceutical ads that would feature doctors from daytime soaps, who'd begin with the words "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV …" And viewers would flock to buy the medicine. The guys on Fox News aren't newscasters, but they do play them on TV – so we can't be all that surprised when people buy those drugs too.
Why do ya think they call it 'dope'?
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