Saturday, January 15, 2011

Light Blogging Yesterday

All I did yesterday was drive around and read magazines in doctors' offices in two states.

Tuesday evening, Mrs. G complained of a sore throat. She rarely gets colds or the flu and she took some ibus and Theraflu and forgot about it.

It wasn't any better on Wednesday so she sent me out for the ingredients for a couple of her favorite folk remedies, which I suspect are vaguely Celtic, maybe Boston Celtic, as she mentioned "holy stick" and some guy named "Homey O'Pathic". Anyway, I found out you have to ask for them at the health food store because they don't keep them out where you can see them, but you can get organic Eye Of Newt and Toe Of Frog. Other stuff too. She put on a funny hat and mumbled something while she mixed it up:

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."

Didn't smell very good either.

Didn't work either.

She suffered through Thursday. She was just plain fuckin' miserable, and Friday morning she had me call the doctor for her because her throat was all swollen up and she couldn't talk.

They got her right in on a walk-in basis and diagnosed a tonsil infection, which we had both considered but didn't want to think about. They called up an ear, nose, & throat guy in Reno for her, my ol' nurse buddy Air Force Molly shot her up with steroids and off we went.


Mrs. G just came in doing curls with 5lb weights. I'm not kidding. She says she'll kill me if I mention shrinkage of her...

Note: Nurse Molly did 20 in the Air Force. She says givin' shots to civilians ain't near as much fun as givin' AF weenies assloads of penicillin with the square needle for ailments nowhere near the tonsils. Heh.

We got a little concerned when the ENT's office in Reno was in the Surgery Center of Reno, but in for a dime, in for a dollar. I thought for sure she was gonna have to have 'em out and maybe spend a night in the hospital, but luck was with us.

The ear, nose, & throat guy turned out to be a 6ft. tall redhead with big shoulders and build to match whom I instantly dubbed "Xena, the Warrior Otorhinolaryngologist". Awesome!

The doc did a procedure on Mrs. G involving a laser, a length of hose, and a drain pan. Except for the laser it bore an incredible resemblance to draining a flooded sump on a motorcycle. I was spared the gory details because the medical personnel, all women, convinced me that no mere man could possibly survive what was about to happen and would certainly pass out and convinced me to leave the room.

I'm glad they did. Mrs. G told me it was fucking gross.

She walked outta there feeling a lot better. I dropped her and the dogs, who had been in the truck for about five hours without relief but never complained, off at home and sped to the pharmacy at Safeway. Well, I sped to Safeway. Getting to the pharmacy at the back of the store through a milling herd of Friday afternoon out-of-towners was something else. I put on my Marine face and assaulted toward the rear of the store. If I pissed anybody off, they didn't say anything. I was focused in and wouldn'ta heard 'em anyway. I don't remember actually runnin' over anything.

I got 170 bucks worth of antibiotic and painkiller for 20 bucks, thank you Part D/Medicare Advantage/whatever, picked up an enchilada plate at El Rinconcito and a vanilla shake at DQ for Mrs. G and headed home.

Did I mention that neither of us had anything to eat yesterday until 5PM? My whole day was fueled by ONE cup of coffee. Mrs. G didn't even have that, which actually worked to her advantage when it came to slicing her tonsils open.

She ate half her enchilada plate followed by her antibiotic and her painkiller and was out like a light. She just snored gently, kinda like an outboard idling at the dock, so I knew she was OK. She had had quite a day and I was glad she was getting some rest. I had to wake her up to get her to go to bed.

She woke up this morning as chipper as ever, all things considered, made breakfast*, and all's right with the world. She's quite sturdy of mind and body and will be fine soon. Thank you, Jesus.

*I did the cooking while she was under the weather. My cooking violates not only the Geneva Convention, but conventional morality in that I would expect other people than myself to actually eat the swill. I'm always glad when nobody dies.

And how was your day?


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