Saturday, July 30, 2011

Gibberish and Manure

Will Durst on the debt ceiling "Thelma and Louise's exciting ride" reenactment currently trying to get passed off as serious business on Capitol Hill. A 'must read'.

Right now, you could say we find ourselves philosophically constipated and at a bit of a standstill. You could also say that molten lava is hot. Here's what we know so far: The conservative wing of the Republican Party has stopped talking to Speaker of the House John Boehner. Boehner walked out on President Barack Obama. Probably weeping. Obama finds it impossible to even look at House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. Pelosi puts her hands over her ears and makes "la-la-la" noises whenever she sees House Majority Leader Eric Cantor.

Cantor challenged Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to a pugil-stick match in the stacks of Fort Knox. Reid can barely stand erect. The Tea Party won't stop shouting long enough to hear the sound of the oncoming financial train-wreck bearing down on us. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has advised Obama not to negotiate with terrorists. Boehner can't talk to the Tea Party until he finds someone on his staff who speaks gibberish. Calling the situation "bizarro," Arizona Sen. John McCain wandered down the hall looking for a wormhole to Mordor. And finally, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has taken to leaping out from under the hangers in the Senate Cloak Room, trying to scare the media.

On the 'baggers:

Their enigmatic intransigence has escalated even though they are aware their plan to eviscerate Medicare has less chance of passing a Democratically-controlled Senate than a poison dart frog has of co-starring with Angelina Jolie in a Jim Henson-produced remake of "Spartacus." Democrats need to avoid the slippery slope of entitlement slashing, due to the alarming frequency with which old people vote.

The Righter-than-Right's message is an update on the old "my way or the highway," coming more from the asphalt contractor's view. "My way or become part of the highway." The attack dogs are so wound up they're turning on their own leaders. Boehner had to scold his party to "get your a** in line." Of course, internal fears are they will then inadvertently form a tunnel.

The whole noisy lot of them continue to run around like chickens with their heads cut off, and that choice of fowl is anything but accidental. This is less the tail wagging the dog than the flea on the tip of the last hair on the tail wagging the whole Iditarod Kennel. And I hope that clear things up better than a dump truck full of fertilizing manure in a children's inflatable pool. But I doubt it.

The whole thing is made-up bullshit D-grade political theater. Our bills and obligations will be paid. It's in the Constitution, which the Teabaggers profess to love but are scared pissless to read because it may not say what they want it to.

I'm purely enjoying the whole thing, especially the part where the idjits the Teabaggers sent to Washington are showing themselves incapable of acting like representatives of the American people who pay them. Or maybe all too capable of giving Americans the government we deserve. I haven't quite got that one figured out yet. I'll wait for the Repugs' big death scene to decide. It's coming soon and thank you Jesus!


I'm beginning to think the Teabaggers are the biggest gift sane Americans have ever been given. More 'Agent Orange' to the Repuglican't par-tay than Boner ever thought of being. Heh.

1 comment:

Fixer said...

... the biggest gift sane Americans have ever been given.

Let's hope they implode before they wreck everything.