Wednesday, January 16, 2013

A few solutions to the "gun problem"

While I was looking for a 2nd Amendment to c&p so I wouldn't have to type it out, I ran across this:

On May 8, 1792, Congress passed "[a]n act more effectually to provide for the National Defence, by establishing an Uniform Militia throughout the United States" requiring:

[E]ach and every free able-bodied white male citizen of the respective States, resident therein, who is or shall be of age of eighteen years, and under the age of forty-five years (except as is herein after excepted) shall severally and respectively be enrolled in the militia...[and] every citizen so enrolled and notified, shall, within six months thereafter, provide himself with a good musket or firelock, a sufficient bayonet and belt, two spare flints, and a knapsack, a pouch with a box therein to contain not less than twenty-four cartridges, suited to the bore of his musket or firelock, each cartridge to contain a proper quantity of powder and ball: or with a good rifle, knapsack, shot-pouch and powder-horn, twenty balls suited to the bore of his rifle, and a quarter of a pound of powder; and shall appear, so armed, accoutred and provided, when called out to exercise, or into service, except, that when called out on company days to exercise only, he may appear without a knapsack.[99]
Heh. Lemme see ... white males. Check. Under 45 years of age. Exempts me and most of the guntard loudmouths. Check. Musket or firelock. What, no Bushmasters?! Well, OK, check. Twenty rounds? Hardly enough to go downtown. Harrumph. No knapsack is good. So's the bayonet.

I well understand the "white male" part, since the purpose of the militia was ostensibly to defend the government from outside invasion in the absence of a standing army which the Founders abhorred, but also for the more immediate danger from Indians who might resist white males bent on killing them and dispossessing them from their ancestral lands, and against slave revolts which might distress the white male economy of the time.

Remember, this country was built on genocide and slavery, so I guess this 'militia' approach worked quite well.

But I digress. Back to my original intent, no Founding Fathers/Constitution pun intended.

I think a large part of the 'gun control' problem could be solved with duct tape like every other problem. Strategically placed in mass quantities over the mouths of Whine LaPee-air of the NRA and others of his whinyass gun nut ilk. I don't know how much it would help the actual problem, but it'd be a lot more blessedly quiet. Those whiny loudmouth sonsabitches aren't the real problem with gun violence anyway. I won't go into the 'defending the country from the government' non-argument because it's just plain silly. Bushmaster, meet M-1 Abrams, A-10 Warthog, pissed-off Marine Private who would rather be in bed with his girlfriend (wouldn't we all? Heh.) instead of in East Dump Truck, Idaho, dealing with a bunch of fat old wannabes who just shit their pants when a real rifle was pointed at them, etc. etc.

I like guns, own several, and enjoy shooting them in a responsible manner. I think there are an awful lot of us who would just plain like to see the gun nuts STFU and quit making hollow threats which serve no useful purpose except theirs, which is fearmongering of the "The Sky Is Falling!" variety. Hey, we've got a government that can kick your ass without raising a sweat. Man up and deal with it. Yeesh.

The real problem is the deranged shooters who don't say a damn thing until they start working their trigger fingers in a school or mall or other public place.

In other words, you won't know I am going to shoot you until you are shot. That is the only heads up I am ever going to give on that subject.

Here's an idea I and others have had which might actually help.

A majority of the mass shooters appear to be young men, boys really, who are loners and estranged from society at least in their own heads which is where it counts. What's bothering them? What do they want?

They want to get laid like every other young man and can't, because they're shy or peer group outcasts or whatever. They're suffering from DSB (Dreaded Semen Backup) and find unacceptable outlets for their frustration. I'm not joking about this.

A good partial answer is safe, affordable, legal prostitution so they can let a few toads outta the bag and relax a little. I'm not joking about that either. I know our puritanical system full of anti-fun people would never permit that so I'm pissing into the wind but it's something to think about.


nunya said...


this is a GREAT post, and I thank you! for writing it!!!

Gordon said...

Bless your heart!

David Aquarius said...

My stint in the Navy did a world of good to my 'disposition'. Tapping the keg once in a while is great for one's demeanor and society's at large.

(works for any gender)

BadTux said...

This is the kind of post that only a Marine could write in all seriousness :).

Spud said...

Whole lot a truth right there. Though I might disagree somewhat on the protection from tyranny and ones own government.
We both know that the ground pounder and his weapon cannot be defeated by air or armored forces. It takes other ground pounders to win in the end. Ask those folk in Afghanistan about that one. We been sending a lot of shit at them for over ten years and still have not really won.
Our own Army or Marine forces would never go against our own. In any case I wouldn't have ! Ya know that little oath to the Constitution of the United States..

BadTux said...

Spud, we have plenty of ground pounders who would be overjoyed to go in and kick some gun nut balls if said gun nuts decide they're gonna refuse to obey a law that is passed by the U.S. Congress. They're called the ATF, FBI, US Marshalls, State Police, SWAT, and lots of other names of that sort. They really don't need the Army on the ground, a few dozen drones controlled from Arizona will give them all the air support they need.

And furthermore, the last time that the Airborne was called in to enforce a court ruling, they obeyed the President's order without question and when faced with the 101st Airborne with bayonets fixed, the spiritual forefathers of the current-day gun nuts crapped their britches and withdrew their offer to resist law enforcement with their guns. Just Google "Little Rock 1957". Remember the motto of the ground pounder, "ours is not to wonder why, ours is but to do or die." That much ain't changed since the Crimean War, that's for sure.

Regarding Afghanistan, the Afghans know all they gotta do is wait us out 'cause they live there and we don't. Our biggest issue in Afghanistan is actionable intelligence. Ain't a problem with these gun nuts herebouts, they ain't got no intelligence to be actionable upon, they proudly hang a target on their backs and proclaim "From my cold dead hands!". That can be arranged, yo...

Gordon said...

Spud, please remember that our Oath Of Enlistment requires us to protect the country and the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. I never untook that oath. The guntards aren't enemies until they do something egregious like taking up arms, not MOUTHS, against the government. Then they're traitors. Ready on the left, ready on the right, aaaaallllll ready on the firing line...:-)

Spud said...

Gordan , I too take that oath seriously and still follow it.
If Congress should pass a new amendment then it would be legal. However I see these Executive orders possibly going against the original intent.
Like the Afghanies I live here and have patience, this too shall pass, and the tyrants shall leave.