Wednesday, April 24, 2013

World’s. Dumbest. Enemies.

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on the Boston Bombchuckers and our idiot wingnuts' reaction to them.

Chechnya! Of course! Chechnya wants America dead because they hate our freedoms, our shopping malls and our shiny perfect Jesus. Right? Because we have invaded their homeland and destroyed their culture with Burger King and Walmart and…um, wait, what? We haven’t? They don’t? The Boston bombers, while originally ethnic Chechens, are largely “self-radicalized?” And the younger one, Dzhokhar, is an American citizen? And they acted alone? And they’re basically dumb as logs? Oh.

It’s all so… confusing. So frustrating. How are we supposed to handle this? Who are we supposed to hate upon? The idiot Tsarnaev brothers don’t fit our beloved terrorist stereotypes, do not play the role we wanted them to play. Damn them!

This shall not do. No wonder he haters and the finger-pointers feel so gypped. No wonder hothead GOP numbskulls like Lindsay Graham and John McCain wanted Dzhokhar tried as an “enemy combatant,” mostly because they like saying the words “enemy combatant” on Fox News with a sneer and a total disregard for American law. If there’s one thing the GOP loves, it’s finding someone to despise and combat. Besides Obama, of course.

What a strange moment in American history. No clearly defined enemy, Islamophobia at a (relatively) low ebb, gay marriage foregone and obvious, the Red Scare of yore now a pale footnote, even our normal modalities of racism and sexism lacking the same bitter tang now that Obama won a second term and all the nasty old white guys who used to control everything have become less relevant and/or are dying off en masse.

Truly, to much of America – but especially the pundits of the right – the Tsarnaev brothers and their insipid act of violence have been a major disappointment. Can’t blame Obama, can’t blame Islam, can’t blame the lefties or vegans or immigrants, can’t hate upon Mexico or Europe or Iran – all our normal machinery of bias and intolerance left with nothing to gnaw upon. What’s a enemy-loving populace to do?

This much we do know: the enemy is definitely not well-funded, expertly trained clans of wild-eyed terrorists from foreign lands. The truth is, most terrorist attacks since 9/11 have been of the lone wolf variety, which, given the general idiocy, ignorance and ineptitude of most who attempt these plots, is a direct insult to wolves.
True dat. The Boston bombers bear more relation to the Columbine shooters than they do to al Qaeda. Read the rest.

1 comment:

The Precious said...

I prefer referring to them as "those two idiots" to "Boston bombers". Boston bombers sounds too elevated and doesn't really describe them as much as what they did. I prefer to refer to them with a term that describes them. I refer to them as "those two idiots". Or "Idiot Number One and Idiot Number Two", as in, "Idiot Number One is dead and Idiot Number Two is in the hospital handcuffed to a bed."