Rabid Dog Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate

JEFFERSON CITY, MO (The Borowitz Report) – A rabid Doberman Pinscher jumped on stage at a Tea Party rally in Missouri on Labor Day and barked at the crowd for nearly twenty minutes before people realized he was not a candidate.

The dog, later identified by its owner as “Mister Buster,” held the crowd spellbound as he barked, growled, and frothed at the mouth, eventually receiving a standing ovation for his exertions.

“I liked what he had to say,” she said. ”He reminded me of Glenn Beck, only furrier.”
...

“I liked the way he bit off that guy’s hand, and the way he did his business in the middle of the stage,” she said. ”We need more of that in Washington.”

An understandable mistake, given the tone of the 'Bagger candidates and the intelligence of their supporters.

I wonder if he got road rash?

Think Progress

Prostitute Enthusiast David Vitter Continues To Be Embraced By GOP Leadership

I have nothing against enthusiasm for any particular activity of choice. I'm a Motorcycle Enthusiast, but I don't do it in diapers. Heh.

Question of the Day

When Did the US Begin Sacrificing Freedom and Democracy for Corporate Governance and Wealth as a Sign of Virtue?

Short A: The day Ronald Reagan got inaugurated.

Headline of the Day

Missing Iraq cash 'as high as $18bn'

AlJaYeesh...

Senator Arrested After Alleged Drunken SUV Joy Ride

Gawker

Idaho potato John McGee, who boasts on his website that he's the youngest member of his state's senate, celebrated Father's Day by engaging in some youthful indiscretions that he probably now very much regrets, as he sits in his Ada County Jail cell.

Seems McGee — state senate GOP Caucus chairman, a past "Republican Legislator of the Year," and a self-described advocate of roads and bridges—allegedly ended up driving along one of his beloved motorways last night after one too many rounds of drinks (and perhaps one too many rounds of golf, the sport of sin and scandal) (they forgot "boredom" - G):

According to the Ada County Sheriff's Office, McGee started the eventful night Saturday drinking in a golf course clubhouse. McGee left the clubhouse and began walking before coming to a Ford Excursion with a trailer hooked up. The SUV was unlocked with the keys inside. McGee got inside and drove away. At some point, McGee tried turning the vehicle and trailer around in a driveway near Overland and Victory in Boise. McGee was unsuccessful at turning around and the Excursion and trailer jack-knifed. McGee then exited the vehicle and walked back and forth a few times before climbing back in and going to sleep. Two witnesses in a nearby house were watching all of the events transpire and called police. When police arrived McGee told authorities he was on his way to Jackpot.

His BAC was .15. Speaking as a former professional drunk driver, that's almost twice the legal limit but barely a good buzz. Amateur Hour. It's always fun to see a Repug get busted for doing something illegal he's no good at.

Especially if he's a Ford guy. Heh.

Full Bras, Empty Heads

Think Progress

Newly Crowned Miss USA Was One Of Only Two Contestants Who Believe In Evolution

A California Girl, I am pleased to add!

It figures that most of the contestants believe in bullshit. Those beauty pageants are a throwback to the Good Old Days that never were and I'm sure appeal most to social conservatives, i.e. wingnut retards.

My idea of a Miss USA we can be proud of is more along the lines of Rachel Maddow.

"...the sure-to-be stupid fucking documentary about Sarah Palin"

First and last coupla ¶ from El Rude-o on the poster for Snowbilly Snooki's direct-to-the-tiny-brained movie (Fantasy).

First of all, the name of the sure-to-be stupid fucking documentary about Sarah Palin is utter horseshit. In 2002, she lost the Republican nomination for lieutenant governor of Alaska. And, well, also as the vice presidential candidate. So "The Undefeated" is correct only if you disregard her, you know, defeats.
...

Let's not even get into the clip art flags. Or the listing of Mark Levin and Andrew Breitbart as appearing (which makes this movie about as appealing as going down on a porcupine's twat).

But there's all the nation needs to know about its idiot queen. Oil. Power. Despoiled nature. Lies. America. The hagiography of the mascot of our descent into the mad dry heaves of this wretched century.

John Wayne's ghost oughta sue her over the filched title and odious comparison. Nah, he probably likes her.

Comment on a post at On My Mind.

I think "Self-Defeated" might be more appropriate..

There's a good chance of that and she has a track record. Let's hope she quits before she destroys all those awful and un-American windmills things like facts, truth, science, and reality.

I know a guy ...

In Germany who, around November every year, gets himself arrested so he'll have a warm place to sleep in the winter. Looks like people gotta do it here to be treated for their illnesses:

A 59-year-old man has been jailed in Gastonia, N.C., on charges of larceny after allegedly robbing an RBC Bank for $1 so he could get health care in prison. Richard James Verone handed a female teller a note demanding the money and claiming that he had a gun, according to the police report.

...

Thanks to Susie for the link.

Back to the home ...

Grandpa; you're babbling again. God, what a pandering idiot:

The former Republican presidential candidate John McCain has been accused of "scapegoating" Mexicans over comments he made linking wildfires in his home state of Arizona to illegal immigration.

The issue ignited over the weekend when the US senator said there was "substantial evidence that some of these fires have been caused by people who have crossed our border illegally. The answer to that part of the problem is to get a secure border".

...

In a sane world, they'd have thrown a net over this old fool when he chose Snowbilly Snooki for a running mate. In our world, he gets to mumble incoherently, like a crazy homeless guy in NYC having a conversation with a sewer drain, on every Sunday morning 'news' show and is taken seriously.

What a country!

Quote of the Day

Our pal Montag:

...

Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between a US corporation and an enemy combatant. And we might all be better served if they were both treated the same way.

I'll drink to that.

Happy Summer!

And, right on cue, the humidity is cranking up here on the Isle of Long. I'm gonna be schvitzed all day.

At least ...

We won't have to turn the light on* when we go to the bathroom in the middle of the night:

LACEY TOWNSHIP, N.J. – Federal regulators have been working closely with the nuclear power industry to keep the nation's aging reactors operating within safety standards by repeatedly weakening those standards, or simply failing to enforce them, an investigation by The Associated Press has found.

Time after time, officials at the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission have decided that original regulations were too strict, arguing that safety margins could be eased without peril, according to records and interviews. [my em]

...

It's just a mater of time until something not good happens. When the bottom line is involved, safety is the first thing to go out the window.

Update:

And it ain't just the nuclear industry**, it seems:

Wondering whether natural gas and oil transportation pipelines are safe? Why not ask a neutral objective party -- like, say, the pipeline industry? The federal government’s Pipeline Hazardous Materials Safety Administration is supposed to study and regulate pipeline safety. But as the San Francisco Chronicle discovered, in practice, the agency tends to hand that responsibility back over to the pipeline industry.

...

*Thanks to Chris for the link.

**Thanks to Blue Girl for the link.

Obama lookalike Kicked Off Stage At Repug "Leadership" Convention.

Crooks and Liars, with video.

I tell you, Klassy with a "K", these GOPers:

Three K's, Nicole.

Brown took the stage to laughter a few shouts of "Where's your birth certificate?"

Hoo! That's a knee-slapper there! Hey, remember when liberals couldn't criticize the president in a time of war because that made meant the terrorists won?

Some of the jokes were actually pretty funny. Good jokes are rarely in good taste, however.

More videos at YouTube, Part 1 and Part 2. The jokes that got his mic cut off and got him asked to leave the stage start at about 6:00 of part 2. Everything was going along OK until he started in on the Repug presidential candidates and the last straw was when he started in on the mental midget from Minnesota,

IOKIYAR to say any vile and untrue thing about Obama/Dems/liberals on F** or in Congress - our house - but to kid them in their house is beyond the pale. Thin skinned bastards when the joke's on them. They can kiss my ass.

Note to Mr. Brown: Gettin' kicked off the stage is the best thing that ever happened to your career! You got the Repugs nose outta joint and they've made you a star! You've got your 15 minutes. Run with it!

Joke of the Day

Mitt Romney is reported to have actually told this joke with a camera present:

Q: Why should you eat Eggs Benedict off a hubcap?

A: Because the best plate is chrome for the Hollandaise...

I think I tell it better.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Planeloads of Cash Sent to Iraq Missing
Those with knowledge of the missing $6 billion urged to call WeTip.

Workers' Share of National Income Hits New Low
Better to quit your job and inherit a fortune, say experts.

Japanese Researchers Synthesize Meat From Human Excrement
Goes great with bottle of recycled urine.

Big whoop. McDonald's has been doing that for years.

Study: Magic Mushrooms Could Have Health Benefits
Much more testing needed, say subjects.

Where do I sign up?!!!

Playboy Puts Entire 57 Years Online
Hailed as nostalgic stroll down mammary lane.

Oh boy! I don't even have to hold it up with my other hand now! Ain't these interwebs great?

And you thought I was kidding ...

About having to do yard work on Father's Day.

I got to play tree sturgeon.

Quote of the Day

Digby on the media concerning Washington sex scandals:

... The juvenile glee with which they pore over the most salacious details is best described as Beavis and Butthead go to Washington.

...

***

Cable guy's supposed to be here between 8 and 11 because the TVs in the bar and the Mrs. office have gone schizoid. I'm pretty sure it ain't my system (the TVs in my office and the bedroom are fine) so we got the tech coming. If I had any time, I'd take the two boxes to the cable store and swap them out but I figure I pay them enough every month, they can come out to me for once.

Took the day off

That says it all. Happy Fathers Day.

Being we spend so much ...

On our defense budget, you would think we can afford not to buy shit:

...

Well, it turns out these ships are rusting faster than a '70s Datsun in New England.

...

To all the dads out there ...

Happy Father's Day!

Now, go mow the fucking lawn. Heh ...