Quote of the Day

From "Bobby Jindal Gives Up, Joins the 'Stupid Party'":

Which is to say, if “Jindal 2016” were a race horse, I wouldn’t just hedge my bets—I’d buy shares in the glue factory.

Jindal's presidential aspirations died with his Howdy Doody/Kenneth the Page GOP response to the SOTU speech years ago. He's the only one who doesn't know it.

Update: Bonus QotD

From "Bobby Jindal: The Motherfucker at Work" by The Rude Guess Whom:

And then Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, likely loser in the 2016 presidential race, walked up to the mike and decided, quite vividly, "Fuck this shit. I got some primaries to win."

Fearless prediction: He won't win even one. He will likely not even make a serious run at it if anyone has the balls to tell him he's darker "colored" than Obama and the south has had enough of that uppity shit!

Tinfoil Hat Brigade To March On D.C.

"1.8 Million Definite Militia Members" to March on DC, Install New Government

Harry Riley has a dream. On the morning of May 16, somewhere between 10 and 30 million (estimates vary) God-fearing patriots will assemble in Washington, DC, for what Riley, a retired Army colonel from the Florida panhandle, is calling "Operation American Spring." They’ll protest outside the White House by day and set up in campgrounds and RV parks outside the city by night. They won't leave until President Barack Obama, along with Attorney General Eric Holder and congressional leaders of both parties, resign and appear before a specially convened investigative tribunal for further disciplinary action—a polite version of a tea party coup. It's not likely to happen—but two former Fox News personalities have endorsed the endeavor.

"We have 1.8 million definite militia members coming," promises Operation American Spring spokeswoman Karen Smith. (The Anti-Defamation League pegs the number of American militia members at about 20,000.) "Other than that, we're not keeping a list of concerned people or whatever because how are we gonna do that?"

According to Riley's introductory note, which he posted on Facebook, about 1 million activists will stick around DC after the march in a nonviolent attempt to shut the city down. According to the the document, the real work will occur after the transfer of power: "Those with the principles of a West, Cruz, Lee, DeMint, Paul, Gov Walker, Sessions, Gowdy, Jordan, Issa, will comprise a tribunal and assume positions of authority to convene investigations (my em), recommend appropriate charges against politicians and government employees to the new U.S. Attorney General appointed by the new President."
...

For Riley & Co., the stakes couldn't be higher. "My knees will not touch the surface as a result of some piss ant occupant of the White House or a corrupt legislator, or outside element," Riley wrote. "I will fall to my death standing if necessary."

Says the outside element. I wish him well falling to his death. More.

Mark your calendars. I do not recommend laying in extra popcorn. It'll go stale while you're waiting for something to happen. Heh.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

U.S. Reassures Persian Gulf Allies
Reminds them of our consistent support of repressive monarchies.

Analysis: Ukraine Ideologically Split Down Middle
Half capitalist lapdogs, half Soviet apologists.

Arizona Passes Bill Allowing Businesses to Refuse Service to Gays
Rejects more moderate measure allowing shoddy service.

New Georgia License Plate
Features Confederate Flag
For drivers who prefer not to be
pulled over by police.

They love being losers.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Uploaded on Jan 21, 2012
Emmylou Harris, an American singer-songwriter and musician sings 'To Daddy' to Johnny Hallyday, France's favourite rocker, in Nashville in 1984.

Thanks to iMariola.

An Open Letter to Ben Gozzi

Political Garbage Chute

Go Get Your Big, Red Rubber Shoes, Bozo

You’re a failure, Mr. Issa. If your job is to find out what’s broken or wasteful in our government so that we can fix it, you have failed in truly comical proportions. Which brings me to why I write this letter. You see, I think I have a proposal for you that is mutually beneficially for all of us — we the American people and you, the American dumb ass. Apparently there’s a growing need within this country — a labor pool that is shrinking and I think you’re the man to fill it.

There’s a real, honest-to-God clown shortage in America, Rep. Issa, and who better to lead the clowning community in this country to a new day than the GOP’s clown prince himself? You’ve pretty much been spending the last five years honing your comedic timing and inane banter, both things that clowns really excel at. And when it comes to big, flashy gags that are meant to keep the masses entertained but that always wind up blowing up in your face, no one can top you spectacular crashes. You’ve all but perfected the Congressional Pratfall. That’s where you puff up your chest, say some really incendiary things, and then have them all blow back in your face when pesky things like “facts” or “truth” trip you up.
...

You’ve been the GOP’s chief bozo since taking over the oversight committee and promising to expose the Obama administration as the “most corrupt administration” — your words, not mine — in history. You’ve packed your hearing rooms with fellow clowns Louie Gohmert of Texas, Mike Rodgers of Alabama, and Trent Franks of Arizona. I even have your clown name picked out, Darrell — Ben Gozzi the Clown. Bozo was already taken, or you’d have just been handed that one. But I think Ben Gozzi suits you best.

Much more.

Issa wasn't a very good car thief or arsonist and he's a terrible congressman and an embarrassment to us reality-based Californios.

Vultures And Vote Rustlers

Truthout Interviews Greg Palast on the Koch Brothers and Chris Christie

Investigative reporter and Truthout contributor, Greg Palast, has spent most of his career exposing the corrupting effects of money and politics in many hard-hitting pieces. Greg is gifted in his ability to connect the dots between billionaires and politicians by following the money. In the Citizens United era, it can be more difficult to follow the money because of the anonymity 501(c)(4) Super PACs afford their donors. But that hasn't stopped Greg, who shares with me some of what he has uncovered in his Truthout article, "Christie and Koch in Cahoots? It's Time to Subpoena the Committee for Our Children's Future."

A little long, but gives a good insight on where democracy went.

Thanks to Ted Asregadoo.

Also see:

How Dark Money Flows Through the Koch Network

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

U.S. Finishes Ahead of Haiti, 133 Other Countries in Annual Press Freedom Index
Only Finland, Netherlands, Norway, Luxembourg, Andorra, Liechtenstein, Denmark, Iceland, New Zealand, Sweden, Estonia, Austria, Czech Republic, Germany, Switzerland, Ireland, Jamaica, Canada, Poland, Slovakia, Costa Rica, Namibia, Belgium, Cape Verde, Cyprus, Uruguay, Ghana, Australia, Belize, Portugal, Suriname, Lithuania, United Kingdom, Slovenia, Spain, Antigua and Barbuda, Latvia, El Salvador, France, Samoa, Botswana, South Africa, Trinidad and Tobago, Papua New Guinea and Romania finished ahead of us.

Sochi: Putin Refuses to Turn Down Olympic Flame
Giant torch being blamed for record temperatures, slushy snow, soft ice, lackluster performances.

Billionaire Tom Perkins: Rich Should Be Given More Votes
Instead of having to spend their own money to buy them.

1 in 4 Americans Doesn't Know Earth Circles Sun
1 in 6 thinks babies delivered by storks.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Whole set! Late '70s.

Emmylou Harris & the original Hot Band live on stage in Holland

Thanks to Larry Musicman.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

PUTIN WELCOMES WORLD TO SOCHI OLYMPICS
Says security not a problem.

In Future War, Justice Scalia Doesn't Rule Out Internment Camps
For people who look like liberals, say.

Heh. Fat Tony's one administration late. It's the RWNJs that are worried during this one.

NASA: Kepler-413b Binary System Has Planet Where Seasons Change Almost Daily
Scientists hope to simulate planet's conditions by spending two weeks in Chicago.

Spreadsheet Listing 40 Top Koch Donors Mistakenly Left Behind by Guest at Seminar
In brief: don't eat Papa John pizza or buy Jockey underwear.

Headline Il Due and Question of the Day

R.I.P. Republican credibility: Why their latest blatant lies show they’ve given up

Why don't they just STFU and die already?

Headline and Sub Head of the Day

Because too much to quote.

No, Liberals Don't Control the Democratic Party

The left may have more clout than it once did, but commentators shouldn't mistake progressives for the Democrats' equivalent of the Tea Party.

Personally, I'm more anti-right-wing than liberal. If we get rid of the fringe right we'll be OK.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

I love this version.

Published on Mar 9, 2013
From Emmylou Harris and Willie Nelson comes this sensitive, beautiful song "Gulf Coast Highway" written by Nanci Griffith, Danny Flowers, and James Hooker. It appeared on Emmylou's Duets album released by Reprise on July 24, 1990 and available on CD.

Thanks to catman916.

"Lawless!"

Don't hold back, Old Fart! Come outta yer shell and say what you really mean. Heh.

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

OLYMPICS: SECURITY TIGHT AS GAMES BEGIN

Biathlon competitors told to fire at anyone acting suspiciously.

More Reports of Cheating, Drugs Among Nuclear Missile Corps
Experts: we're one bad acid trip away from Dr. Strangelove.

New Hampshire Poll: Romney Republican Frontrunner
Edges out John McCain, Bob Dole.

Probably shoulda warned ya about that one. My bad. Heh.

Hundreds Sickened on Cruise Ship
CDC still trying to identify source of illness on Royal Caribbean's Salmonella Islands Tour.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

From Later With Jools Holland, 1995

Published on Jan 27, 2014
BBC2, London, 26 November 1995.
RTP2 - Portuguese Public Televison, Lisbon.

Subtitled for your convenience.

Thanks to Jose Neves.

"Take Orders And Eat Crap"

Christian conservatives constantly skew facts to conform to their ideologies. And they get away with it because the people who listen to them are sheep who never learned skills in critical thinking. They just believe what they're told in their churches and on Fox News.
...

So where are all the verses where Jesus endorses the bullshit conservatives are trying to sell today?

They're in the Bible they haven't read.

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Quote of the Day

From "The Republican Conspiracy Has Worked":

A flurry of executive orders is obviously better than nothing, but it’s hardly the kind of bold change this country needs to undo the destruction caused by thirty-three years of Reaganomics.

No, it's not. Please read the rest.

The myth of the Christian conservative

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford going on about phony christians.

I often wonder, given sufficient whisky and irony and time: Has there ever been a more delightfully inept, wince-inducing oxymoron in the tortured American lexicon than “conservative Christian?”

Speaking of the DeVos clan:

From Reagan to Bush 41, Bush 43 to Mitt, union-busting to anti-choicism, antediluvian “family values” advocacy to pro-corporate think tanks, Blackwater to the unutterably silly Left Behind books, this is the kind of power-hungry billionaire clan that has its tentacles in every right-wing movement, cause and devious conservative ploy since the early ‘60s.
...

Ah, Christians. Always the last to understand irony.

I ponder: What must that be like? To believe you are something that you so very much are not? To hold a set of values that, in truth, have nothing whatsoever to do with the real source that supposedly inspires and defines it?

It’s a severe, almost laughable chasm between what Republicans define as “Christian conservative” values – isolationism, protectionism, love of fireams, suppression of alternative viewpoints, sexual dread, belief in strict gender roles and family structures, institution-as-guardian, and so on – and the teachings of the actual, messy historical Jesus who taught, well, the exact opposite.

Reading this piece, it struck me again, for the 1,000th time: As far as we can tell and if he actually existed, Jesus was a shaman. A seer. A radical. A wild and divinely possessed trickster and spiritual pathfinder. What’s more, it’s possible that he was frequently stoned. Hallucinating. Hey, lots of them were. Wouldn’t you be? Psychoactive plants have been used to commune with sacred realms since cavemen scribbled trippy hieroglyphs on the wall by moonlight. It’s just what gurus, mystics and saviors do.

Yes, yes we do. Heh.

So now it begins to make more sense. While conservative Christians of the DeVos variety aggressively despise everything the real Jesus stood for – nonviolence, aiding the poor, ministering to the sick, equal rights, spiritual autonomy, the anointing of lots of trippy holy oil to commune with sacred realms – they very much value what came next: the institutionalized church and all its megalomaniacal, sociopolitical success, perhaps the greatest, most oppressive corporation/political operation of all time. The GOP can only dream.

Well said, young Mark, but you left out "medieval criminal consortium".

El Rude-o on the SOTU

If You're Not Blaming the GOP for the Crappy State of the Union, You're Lying:
...

We never got to see what an Obama presidency would be like because Republicans decided that there wouldn't be an Obama presidency.

One great experiment of the Obama administration, so far, was to attempt to reel the imperial presidency back in (yeah, we're leaving surveillance off the table here). It was to try to get Congress to do its fucking job. But Republicans changed the rules of the game on Obama. If they had been playing baseball, they'd have said, "Okay, we demand four outs, five strikes, and no foul balls, just for us." And Obama would have said, "Sure. Now can we play?" And they would have said, "And you have to play without shoes and gloves." And Obama would have said, "Sure. Can we start the game?" And they would have said, "And each of us gets to fuck your wife in the ass on the pitcher's mound while you watch." And when Obama said, "No, that's bullshit," they'd've said, "Why don't you want to play baseball?"

The shame is that Obama didn't say, early in his first term, "Fuck off. I'm heading to the batting cages." Now that he's announced he's finally going to use executive authority more broadly, and he's used it less than any president in the last century, the GOP is whining that Obama is doing something unconstitutional. These would be the same Republicans who lapped up President Bush's executive orders and signing statements like jizz-gobblers at a jack-off-a-thon.

Everyone is offering their useless suggestions for "What the President Should Say Tonight." So let the Rude Pundit play Fantasy SOTU. What Obama oughta say to the United States is "Vote these Republican motherfuckers out of here. They have hurt the nation and will continue to do so. You know the deal. You reelected me to get shit done. That ain't gonna happen until these assholes who keep hurting the poor and hungry are fuckin' gone. It's up to you, America. 2014 could be the year you make this a sane country again. You gotta put a hurt on the GOP. Let's hurt them until Ted Cruz is begging to kiss my black ass."

Fuckin' A.

Headline of the Day

Pete Seeger Outlasted the Bastards

So long, Pete. You made a difference.