Florida Bans Use of Phrase “Climate Change”
May also ban “shark attack,” “sinkhole,” “citrus disease.” “pythons in Everglades,” “declining popularity of golf.”
Mars Once Entirely Covered by Water
Passed law banning use of the term “climate change.”
More News Stories Written by Algorithms
Editorials, too.
Poll: Fox News Named “Most Trusted” News Network
In survey of attendees at “Get Rich Quick” seminar.
Published on Mar 10, 2015
"The Polar Music Prize 2015 is awarded to the artist Emmylou Harris from Birmingham, Alabama. No one in the history of popular music has harmonised like Emmylou Harris. For five decades she has embellished other artists' recordings by adding vocal parts that did not exist in the melodies. But it is as an artist in her own right that she has made the greatest contribution. The music of Emmylou Harris contains the history and topography of the entire American continent. Her voice follows the contours of the American landscape, from the highest peaks to the endless prairie. Weather, soil and colour, it can all be perceived in her music. As she sings in one of the best of her own compositions, she is a red dirt girl from a red dirt town. Emmylou Harris has also used her position as a musician to work for feminism, animal rights and the care of people affected by war. Emmylou Harris makes the world bigger and smaller, more valuable and more beautiful."
Footage courtesy of Nonesuch Records from the 2014 Wrecking Ball deluxe edition CD+DVD
John McCain, Lindsey Graham Never Use Email
Pay way too much for meds and wear overpriced Rolexes.
“Sharknado 3” to Feature Mark Cuban, Ann Coulter as President, Vice-President
Turns concept of tornado filled with sharks into something reasonable by comparison.
Ringling Bros. to Stop Using Elephants in Circus
Move called “job killer” by clowns with shovels.
On Island in Southern Japan, Cats Outnumber Humans by 6 to 1
Island's main industry is producing YouTube videos.
Emmylou Harris & Daniel Lanois
With JIMI HENDRIX's "May This Be Love" AKA-- Waterfall
Recorded Live at the historic Wiltern Theatre
In Los Angeles on 4/3/14
The day after her 67th birthday
New Jersey Suddenly Settles $9 Billion Suit With Exxon for Just $250 Million
After Governor and future Exxon board member Chris Christie steps in to help.
Scott Walker: I'll Deal With ISIS Just Like I Dealt With Unions
By cutting off their pensions.
Study Finds Alcohol Most Dangerous, Marijuana Least Dangerous Recreational Drug
Calls for stiff penalties for anyone found in possession of half a gram of beer.
Pope Canonizes Junipero Serra, Who Converted, Imprisoned, Flogged Native AmericansGee, they left out "Enslaved" and "Murdered". Damn liberal media!
Part of church's “tough love” program.
Published on Feb 18, 2015
"Pancho and Lefty" is a song written by country singer and songwriter Townes Van Zandt. Often considered his "most enduring and well-known song," Van Zandt first recorded it for his 1972 album, The Late Great Townes Van Zandt. Emmylou Harris then covered the song for her 1977 album, Luxury Liner. Also in 1977, Hoyt Axton recorded it on his album Snowblind Friend. The song became a number one country hit in 1983 when Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson adopted it as the title track of their duet album Pancho & Lefty. Steve Earle performs the song on his 2009 album Townes, which consists of songs written by van Zandt, Earle's friend and mentor. Members of the Western Writers of America chose it as one of the Top 100 Western songs of all time.
Jeb Bush: “I Am My Own Man” on Foreign Policy
Although, he admits, invading Iraq does run in the family.
Reason Pot Gives People the Munchies: Cannabinoids Activate Pro-Opiomelanocortin Neurons
Pro-opiomelanocortin neurons are the main ingredient in Cheetos.
Hell Freezes Over
Recent arrivals able to walk across River Styx.
Baseball to Speed Up Play This Year
But plan to call it “Baseball on Steroids” has been shelved.
Wisconsin Gov. Walker Dodges Question About Evolution
But cops to Earth going around the sun.
Netflix Launches $7.99 a Month Service in Cuba
Hoping Cubans will want to pay one third of their monthly income to binge-watch “House of Cards.”
More Than 202,000 People Have Applied For One-Way Ticket to Mars
Most of them to get out of jury duty.
Drone That Intercepts Other Drones Undergoes Testing
By Wham-O.
Calls Renewed for Release of Withheld Parts of Investigation Linking Saudis With 9/11
Now that we have enough oil.
Rand Paul Gets His Measles Vaccination
Develops autism.
Two Thirds of Americans Dissatisfied With Wealth Distribution
Includes richest .1%, who want more.
Study: Conservatives Die Sooner Than Liberals
Usually from gout.
Koch Brothers to Spend $900 Million on 2016 Campaign
While expecting nothing more in return than control of all three branches of the government.
Indiana Gov. Pence Decides Against Establishing State-Run News Outlet
Internment camps, martial law still on the table.
Most People, Including 51% Of Republicans, Want Action On Climate Change
Even those who think it's a hoax want action.
Alabama School Suggests Kids Hurl Canned Goods at IntrudersThe stupid, it burns...
Nothing stops a homicidal maniac with an AK-47 like Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup.
IOWA: GOP HOPEFULS MAKE EARLY APPEARANCE AT NO CHANCE SUMMIT
Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Rick Perry, Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Dr. Ben Carson, Newt Gingrich all speak at event held for candidates with no chance of being nominated.
New Saudi King Promises Continuity
Harems, floggings, beheadings will continue.
1 in 4 Americans Believe God Will Decide Super Bowl
He decided two months ago and is just waiting to see the spread.
Study: Planet in Danger Zone After Crossing Four of Nine Environmental Boundaries
It's too hot, too wet, too dirty and too loud.
Published on Jan 18, 2015
Originally recorded by Fat City for their 1972 LP Welcome To Fat City and then by
Starland Vocal Band for their 1977 LP
Birthers, truthers, climate change deniers, Creationists, Originalists, fundamentalists, white supremacists confer at GOP retreat
OBAMA SEEKS TAX HIKE ON WEALTHY TO PAY FOR CUT TO MIDDLE CLASS
Or, as conservatives call it, grounds for impeachment.
Man Arrested for Wanting To Blow Up Capitol
Got idea from House Republicans.
Supreme Court to Rule on Same-Sex Marriage
Will decide if gays have same rights as corporations.
Plummeting Price of Oil a Catastrophe for Russia
President Putin forced to sell his Super Bowl ring.
Study: New York safer without cops
Jobs Rise, Wages Fall in December
Translation: more people have lousy jobs.
Magic Mushrooms Found in Queen Elizabeth's Garden
“I don't know nothin',” says the Queen.
NCAA to Assist Players' Families With Travel Expenses to Championship Game
And hope families keep mouths shut regarding billions players bring in while getting paid nothing.
REMINDER
You're just one embarrassing blunder away from being an Internet sensation.
Emmylou Harris believes Maddox has never received the recognition she deserves, in part because of what Harris calls a reluctance in American society to celebrate the value of white country and roots music.[11] Dolly Parton also credits Maddox as an early influence.[12] Laura Cantrell's song "California Rose" was written in memory of Maddox.