When House Majority Leader Tom DeLay sat down with reporters on Tuesday on Capitol Hill, he was asked to assess President Bush's campaign in Iraq and to respond to criticism that the military mission is not going well and the White House needs to develop an exit strategy.I got an idea: Let's level the playing field to help ol' Tommy out here. Let's turn a few hundred bombers, cruise missiles, and artillery pieces loose on Houston and follow up with an Infantry division or two. Wreck all the infrastructure like power and shit plants and water works. Send all the cops, firemen, and city workers home - disband them, so to speak. Put all the people out of work and not guard anything against looting. Then we could hold Houston to the same standard as Iraq.
DeLay offered this response: "These things take time and they take a long time, and some people get weary of the constant barrage that we see in the media.
"You know, if Houston, Texas, was held to the same standard as Iraq is held to, nobody'd go to Houston, because all this reporting coming out of the local press in Houston is violence, murders, robberies, deaths on the highways," DeLay said.
One caution, though: Don't hurt the jail. Tommy's gonna need it in good shape to serve his time. What a fuckin' dildo.