I wear this comparison out,but it's apt,and involves a not so happy tale from my past.
I used to be a statistic.A Battered Woman.
It was 20 yrs ago,and to this day,if I hear this man's name,my heart beats a bit faster and I have to catch my breath.I sometimes still have nightmares that he stars in.
The day I decided to leave was the day I almost died.But it didn't end there,because as any woman in that position can tell you,THE most dangerous time is after you manage to escape.Abusive pieces of shit don't just quit or find another victim when their current one is unavailable.She will pay,if he has anything to say about it.And many times he has alot of say in the outcome.I was lucky,and there isn't a day that goes by I don't remember how lucky I am.That brand of hate doesn't dissipate,it tends to grow and spread,like a particularly nasty infection.Defeating it takes a particular sort of tenacity mixed with smarts and courage.
Instead of just taking their toys and going home(as normal people do once a relationship ends),they amp it up a few notches.First they try the sweet approach,with you,your family,your co-workers and friends.When that doesn't work,they revert right back to threats,violence,and when possible,they'll get others in on the act.
He found me about two weeks after I left him,I still was recovering from having my head bashed into a concrete floor,repeatedly until I was unconcious.I hurt him(with a hammer)and he threatened to take me to court and file charges.I dared him to,because I would make damn sure it got on the public record what a rotten prick he is.Cowards rarely make good on their threats,but that does not mean they won't ever try.It's the Power Over You they want,and they will stop at nothing to get it back once they begin losing it.I had to move.Again.And of course he never filed a charge one against me,that would have exposed him outside his circle of nasty little cohorts.He called my boss,I called his boss,he lost his job,I kept mine.He called my parents spouting filth,I called his parents and told them he beat me and started to begin turning on my daughter.Every time he did something designed to take my power away,I did something to take it back and a little more.
I spent a year being escorted every place I went by one or more large manly types.My daughter was always with people I trusted when I wasn't around with instructions to not let her out of sight for even a heartbeat.Because he was trying to find me,by sucking up to my parents,fishing for info,by calling my boss and trying to charm her(and when that didn't work,he made shit up to get me fired.I worked with kids,he said I beat my daughter),he wasn't about to give up.After I got married the first time and moved to another state,he moved to the same state.I was lucky,he never found me after I fought him off the last time.Many women are not so lucky.
The calls from the Republican Right Wing for the stalking and deaths of NYT photographers,editors and reporters is not a lick different than the same pathology that drives the abuser.The Conservative Movement is in trouble,and they know it.Hence the ratcheting up of eliminationist rhetoric.As these "ideas"of theirs prove to be completely full of blithering fucktitude,they can feel the power they once held and wielded like a club slipping away.It will get worse before it gets better,we cannot EVER dismiss this.As more people wake up and realize they've been lied to,as proof of those lies comes to them in the form of a harder and less prosperous life,as more and more of our options as a free people dry up at the hands of the Conservative Movement,the more unhinged and violent the Right Wing will become.This level of pathology runs very deep,and it won't go away,even if we win all the right elections in November and in '08.It will get worse.We have to accept that,never forget it,and be ready for it.
The formula is simple:
For every inch of Power they lose,they want two inches back to make up for it.And they will not stop until they get it.Or Something stops them.
Now,how do we stop this madness?
Well,for one we keep doing what we're doing.It's working,but it's a slow process,that's ok.Whatever they throw at us,we confront it,expose it and move forward.Relentlessly,because our opponent is relentless.
Next,we don't allow intimidation and threats to work.What they want is for us to cower and accept what they're doing.Most of them are cowards,and alot of the rhetoric is nothing but bluster and hot air.BUT,you never ever dismiss any threat,take them seriously and take the needed means to protect yourself.Common sense generally rules here,you amp that up in accordance to the threat.The idea is to be safe and not alter your life any more than you have to.
This isn't for pacifists, kids.Turning the other cheek has gotten us nowhere,nothing but two bruised and bloodied sides of the face.This doesn't mean you go down the same road they chose,but it does mean you make it damn clear you're not going quietly and you're not backing down and that you will defend yourself if it comes down to it.You do all of that by continuing on,you may have to do it with more support and by surrounding yourself with people who have your back,but you go on.Don't go quietly.Ever.That's what they want,the only other result they want is for you to be just like them,don't go there either.
What they want is a Civil War.They aren't happy about the outcome of the first one,and they want a do over.They'll stop at nothing to get that,and the only way to stop them is to stand our ground and not concede another fucking inch.They've had more than enough time to prove themselves"superior" and they've failed.That pendulum will swing left again,and it's up to us to push that pendulum with all the force we can muster.
And in the end we will win,because what is truly best,and real and true doesn't need to be sold to anyone.Is America broken?Yes,but not to the point She can't be repaired and made better.And really,in the end,most of us want the same things no matter what our politics or race or religion.Many of those things we all share just haven't had a liberal label slapped on them for public vilification.But if you took the labels away and could present those ideas without a party affiliation,alot of us would agree on pretty basic and key issues.
The Right Wing Noise Machine is a loud,obnoxious pest that looks much bigger than it really is,like when my cats fluff up their fur to look bigger than they are.It's all show(ok,it's got fangs and claws too,but it don't change the size of the cat).This machine is barely a third of the country.And of those 1/3,many are starting to look for a new place to call a political home.And many of those former or close to former BushCo supporters,while they'll never vote for a Democrat(not easily at least)they are in fact much more liberal than they currently realize.At the time this nation was founded it was one of the only progressive places on earth,liberal compared to the Kingships of Europe and The Church at the time.We were founded on Liberal goals and ideals.Read the Constitution,The Bill of Rights,the Declaration of Independence(and what's more liberal than independence I ask you?),the language may be a bit stuffy,but it's all spelled out pretty clearly.
We will win this,as long as we remember that all they have is fear,anger,hostility and violence wrapped in a thick blanket of lies and criminal acts.This is still America,and they are Un American,and that's where our strength resides.
