"Mancow Gets Waterboarded...Lasts Six Seconds"

He sure ain't gonna win no bronc ridin' contests with that time. His girlfriend probably thinks that's a good ride though. This is just so good I stole it in toto from Grandpa Eddie:

Tough guy conservative Chicago radio host Erich "Mancow" Muller had himself waterboarded today to prove it isn't torture. Well....now he says it is torture.

From Raw Story:

Chicago radio host Erich "Mancow" Muller decided he'd get himself waterboarded to prove the technique wasn't torture.

It didn't turn out that way. "Mancow," in fact, lasted just six or seven seconds before crying foul. Apparently, the experience went pretty badly -- "Witnesses said Muller thrashed on the table, and even instantly threw the toy cow he was holding as his emergency tool to signify when he wanted the experiment to stop," according to NBC Chicago.

"The average person can take this for 14 seconds," Marine Sergeant Clay South told his audience before he was waterboarded on air. "He's going to wiggle, he's going to scream, he's going to wish he never did this."

Mancow was set on a 7-foot long table with his legs elevated and his feet tied.

"I wanted to prove it wasn't torture," Mancow said. "They cut off our heads, we put water on their face...I got voted to do this but I really thought 'I'm going to laugh this off.' "

The upshot? "It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that's no joke," Mancow told listeners. "It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back...It was instantaneous...and I don't want to say this: absolutely torture."

"Absolutely. I mean that's drowning," he added later. "It is the feeling of drowning."

"If I knew it was gonna be this bad, I would not have done it," he said.

The 42-year-old radio host is no stranger to controversy. In 2005, he was maligned for saying that then-Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean was "vile," "bloodthirsty," "evil" and "should be kicked out of America."

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Update:

It dawned on me upon some some reflection and joyous schadenfreude at this wingtard gasbag's awakening that I was being uncharitable. Sorry, it's a habit I've gotten into over the last 29 years. The guy did the right thing by admitting that waterboarding scared him and that he now realizes it is absolutely torture.

Therefore, I now have this much (holds thumb and forefinger far enough apart to let light through the gap) respect for him. He's still a wingtard gasbag.