Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Rude Pundit Exposed

El Rude-O is the bass player in this "Free Torture Report dot com" spoof. I think he's 'F Yoo':



The man is on fire today too. On Cheney at the ball game:

No doubt the man is contemplating all his sins as he stares at the mock fence, wondering how he become so bereft of humanity, that he perhaps deserves to be surrounded by gates and bars and razor wire, with a tattoo that reads "Property of the Aryan Brotherhood" on his right ass cheek. Yes, the weight of all that he has done must push heavily on him every day and every night, and perhaps he thinks he does not need an actual fence to punish him for he is imprisoned by the pain in his soul.

Nah. Probably just has to take a gigantic dump after sucking down two chili cheese dogs and a bucket of beer, and he's wondering if he can get the skin of a dead Afghani villager to use to wipe his ass. Only the best for the man.

And on Neut:

In a confluence of incompetence and evil the likes of which hasn't been seen since, well, probably this year's Republican National Convention, former Speaker of the House and possible Future of the GOP Newt Gingrich appeared on Bill O'Reilly's Fox "news" show. It was not unlike watching two drunk guys stare at themselves in a mirror as they perform self-fellatio and then insist that they're totally not gay.

Gingrich was there to sing his new single, "Boom Boom Pelosi," [...]

In other words, titanic asshole Newt Gingrich thinks that if Nancy Pelosi says the CIA misleads Congress, it doesn't mean that there should be hearings into the substance of what she's alleging. It means she should resign as Speaker of the House. But when he was Speaker of the House and saying to the media that the FBI was incompetent and a threat to Americans, it didn't mean he was undermining the FBI agents' morale and he should resign. No, then it meant that Congress ought to investigate.

Could someone, somewhere tell this tubby, hypocritical fucker to go the fuck away? Wait, no. Instead, please let him run for president in 2012.

I think he should get the Nobel Prize for Snark!

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