What you need to know and do for Saturday "Rapture Day"

A practical guide at DK. Do not miss this and set yer drink down!

Think of this Saturday as sort of an "evacuation day for believers, leaving the planet to the rest of us for a few months.

Like the Christians who plan on being airlifted outta here, you too must make arrangements, and plans.

If you are planning any plane travel on Saturday make sure those in the cockpit aren't planning on being raptured. You don't want the entire cockpit empty at 30,000 feet.

The safest bets would be no Christians in the cockpit. A crew of Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, atheists/agnostics, etc. would be best. (lapsed Christians, those who belong to liberal or gay welcoming churches, or pretend piety but are schtuping a flight attendant on the side, etc. are probably pretty good too)

If your entire police force plans to be raptured you will need some precautions for your own safety. You might not need to run out to buy a gun, if your neighbor is a right wing Christian who believes he/she will be raptured on Saturday, ask them for the stock pile they've put up since President Obama was elected. They aren't going to need it where they are going and they won't need the cash either!

Send out invitations to your Jewish, Muslims, Hindu, Sikhs, atheist, agnostic, and the wrong type of Christian friends for a Sunday, May 22, 2011 After Rapture Party and or picnic or barbaque.

You may also want to send invitation out to your right wing Christian neighbors, friends and family who are "left behind," they are sure to be depressed and will need a pick me up. ;-)

Much, much more, including links and videos. Just go. Try and get back before Saturday...