Sunday, August 7, 2011

The "Dummy Belt" ...

Satire ... mostly:

We are a land of many ‘belts’: the Bible Belt, the Rust Belt, the Sun Belt, to name a few.

But watching the near dissolution of our political institutions and our international reputation as a scientific, medical, and cultural leader at the hands of ideologically puritanical and intellectually useless base idiots, the time has come to name another of America’s ‘belts’: the DUMMY BELT.

This belt encompasses a swath of the United States that, were it drop-kicked from the Union, would instantly join the likes of Sierra Leone and Guinea-Bissau among the world’s most primitive societies. A grotesque mutation joining Iranian theocracy and Central African poverty would emerge, despoiling the planet and setting back global progress a dozen generations merely by existing.


Thanks to Infidel753 for the link.


Gordon said...

Thanks for explaining that there was satire in that. Sounds about right to me.

I think the writer missed it slightly though - the Dummy Belt would instantly achieve Fourth World status, and the call for less taxes and government spending would be drowned out by calls for MORE foreign aid. To them in the form of Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. Along with more oil drilling for their fried food.

Gordon said...

The writer blew it a little by leaving Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Idaho, and the Dakotas off his map.

He got it right that Teavangelicals are somewhere south of whale shit on the intelligence scale.

BadTux said...

Gordo, all the dude did was add up some numbers for % evangelicals, % college grads, and infant mortality to describe his Stupidity Belt. Arizona gets left off because of all the Hispanics, who are Catholics rather than evangelicals (but who, alas, either don't vote or aren't allowed to vote so the loonies run the show). Utah's run by Mormon loonies but has a lot of college grads and low infant mortality, so that got them out of his stupidity belt -- they're just crazy, not stupid. BTW, the # of Hispanics is also why Texas is only pink rather than a deep rich red of stupid, since Catholics don't count as evangelicals -- but again, the Hispanics in Texas don't or can't vote, so the loonies run the show.

One thing that you cannot doubt, however: If every state that is at least pink on his map was kicked out of the USA into a United States of Stupid, we'd all be much better off. Just sayin' :).

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

mandt said...

"our international reputation as a scientific, medical, and cultural leader" On sale at Wal*Mart