Wednesday, February 13, 2013

You and your terrifying orange juice

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford sounding off on ... orange juice as the symbol of our spiritually dysfunctional society.

Confession! I do not drink much orange juice. I do not ever buy those giant, brightly colored cartoon jugs that look like caricatures of life, those carefully molded plastic things covered in scripty fonts and clip-art trees and pretty, hyper-saturated oranges made to look as if your own exploited Mexican laborer picked them five minutes ago and squeezed them into a drinking glass just for you, and then died.
Neither do I. My Dad would drink nothing but freshly squeezed orange juice. He would squeeze it at home and specify it in restaurants. You could get it in restaurants in those days. He claimed that, 20 minutes after squeezing, orange juice morphed chemically into a substance exactly like rattlesnake venom. I don't know if that's true, but he believed it.

He missed out on the chemicals and food processing techniques we "enjoy" today whereby rattlesnake venom may be the least harmful thing we can consume. Freshly squeezed, of course.

2 comments:

Jimbo said...

I read that drinking OJ first thing in the AM is really a bad idea because it induces a big insulin rush which is pre-diabetic behaviour. As a result, I usually have my OJ with vodka in the PM :)

Gordon said...

:-)