Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Let's Nullify Kansas

The Rude One on "nullification" laws.

Look at how bwave and stwong the wittle state of Kansas has been. Standing there on its two feet like big gwown-up boy. It's adorable. You're adorable, Kansas. C'mere so we can pinch your pudgy cheeks, woogums. Your tough ol' governor, Sam Brownback, signed a bill into law that says, "[A]ny act, law, treaty, order, rule or regulation of the government of the United States which violates the second amendment to the constitution of the United States is null, void and unenforceable in the state of Kansas." You made it a felony for federal government official to enforce a federal firearms law. Aww. That's just...so cute that the rest of us just can't stand it, like a baby sloth on Buzzfeed. Just look at you, acting like you're not part of the United States and pretending that if the United States abandoned you, you wouldn't fall quickly into a pretty dark nightmare of debt, wrecked schools, worse roads, and no jobs. And we just don't want that to happen to you, cutie-wootie.

Yeah, see, Kansas is one of the many, many red states that gets more federal tax money than the state sends to Washington. At $1.10 received for every $1 paid, it's nowhere near the worst freeloader, but it'd be a pretty big hit if Uncle Sam said, "Ooh, don't like our laws? Then kiss our cash's ass as it walks out of your state."

Your despicable asses survive on the backs of the very states you despise for being liberal: New York gets only 72 cents in federal spending for every federal tax buck. New Jersey? 49 cents. Taxachusetts? 83 cents. You're living on our dime, Kansas, South Carolina, Alabama, Missouri, Alaska, North Carolina, Montana, and Alaska, all states attempting to nullify federal laws. Fuck, if we just got a buck for a buck up here, our infrastructure could be strengthened and more people would have jobs. California gets 87 cents for each dollar. That state would love to get South Carolina's level of federal spending. You got that, motherfuckers? You are fucked without us, without block grants and military bases and highway construction contracts and so very much more that our tax dollars at least partially pay for in your state. We could nullify you. So howzabout abiding by the laws of the nation we're all a part of?

Yeah, sometimes the adults need to stop coddling the kids and tell them to shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down.
Amen. And if they don't STFU and sit down, slap 'em 'til they do.


Syrbal/Labrys said...

And people wonder why I couldn't wait to get the hell OUT of that depressed pit in the center of the country!

Gordon said...

Glad ya made it out!

casey said...

Hello Gordon,

It's time to reduce the United States to those states that want to be united.

radiogod said...

I love this. I live in Kansas, and am certainly in the minority when it comes to political leanings. Brownback is an asshat, and he manages to make us look worse and worse on a daily basis. The first major disaster in this state and he will be begging for money the Feds (much like texas was last month after the explosion). He is a scary and sad person. The next election can't come soon enough. I just hope we can put someone up to run against him that is more intelligent, like a lamp post.

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