Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Rove's Diary

Go see "Rove's Diary" at The Crisis Papers:

Impeachment "off the table"? Thank you, Madame Speaker. You've just let us pass Go as often as we like, collect the $200 each time, and hang onto a permanent Get Out of Jail card. Thank God! Even just the existence of an impeachment panel -- since it's pretty certain the Senate would not convict -- would derail many of our initiatives, forcing us to devote most of our time and energy on playing defense, not our strongest suit.

Dems are clueless about how to stop us. They're used to playing by the rules, getting along to go along, compromising to get things done, democratic niceties, etc. But we don't operate that way. That way lies namby-pamby, always worrying about who not to offend. You think like that and your agenda gets bogged down in the reality-world.

It's much more effective to rev up the old rammer, hit 'em and hit 'em hard, grab what we can get, full-scale smashmouth politics, call their bluff, demonize them, cut 'em off at the knees, rub their noses in their powerlessness, find their weak points and go for the jugular, take their strong points and demolish them. You'd think after six years, the hapless Dems would have figured all this out by now, but they still stand there like deer in the middle of the road, mesmerized by the headlights of our power and ruthlessness. God, I love this job!

In short, we're good to go for another 16 months. And, if things somehow go spinning out of control and it looks like we may be facing political or criminal jeopardy or a landslide defeat of the GOP at the polls, some "imminent" act of terror might "require" us to declare martial law, postpone the election, and rule by decree for awhile. Let them suck on that one!

We'll probably have to engineer a replacement for al-Maliki, who is to governance what a fish is to a bicycle. Petraeus, who is dependent on our favors, will give us six more months after September -- he'll report that there is some good "progress" on the ground and the new Iraqi government "deserves a chance" to succeed -- and we'll try to get six or eight more months after that to take us through the election campaign. Petraeus then can join al-Maliki among the fall-guys when the war is lost. Joining the scapegoat list will be the Democrats, of course, who didn't "support the troops" and thus stabbed our war effort in the back. Certainly, we in the Bush Administration are not going to be caught anywhere near that humiliating defeat.

Domestically, we'll consolidate our power base inside the government and take care of our enemies outside, if you get my drift. The Dems certainly have helped give us the enormous police powers that make our job such fun. We're always two steps ahead of them, and, surprisingly, they haven't put two and two together as to why we always know how to block their next move.

Gotta run. I'm rehearsing another rap number for a You Tube ad against the Democrats. It's called "Lie Back and Enjoy It, Bee-itch."

Parody and satire are never very far from the truth. Grrr.

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