So, I was sent to the General and he was supposed to put some Jesus in me. What I got was a lecture about sin. How God watches each one of us (He must have been pretty pissed at me for killing innocent people, but the General didn't want to hear about that) and frowns on unmarried sex (Jeez, this was the Air Force, we fucked everybody) and masturbation. My only question to him was "You mean God doesn't want me to jerk off? Why'd he give me this toy?" All that I got out of the meeting was being put on a shit detail for a couple weeks to "think about what was lacking in my life" (Beer? Pussy?).
That said, Athenae (the best ranter on the intarwebs) looks at the same mindset via the prism of Delaware's Republican 'contendah':
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I especially love O'Donnell's bit about how if her husband knows how to pull his pud, he won't need to have sex with her. I'm a chick, okay, so maybe I lack the mystical understanding of The Penis here, but ... is this at all the case? Unless you're yanking yourself sore like a teenager, do you really lose interest in all other forms of sex? Isn't the stereotype of males that they're CONSTANTLY after it and girls have to slow them down? "If he knows how to pleasure himself, what am I there for?" Um, I don't know, what are you there for? Do you really want your husband only fucking you because you're his only option as all else is denied by God? Isn't this how rent boys and airport bathroom liaisons happen?
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I don't know. When I was young I used to touch myself regularly and chase after any woman who'd give me the time of day. What is it with Republicans who are so obsessed with what I do with my privates?
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