Friday, July 22, 2011

God Urges Rick Perry Not To Run For President

From America's Finest News Source:

AUSTIN, TX—Describing Texas Gov. Rick Perry as grossly unqualified for the position, God, the Creator and Ruler of the Universe, urged Perry not to run for president of the United States Wednesday. “I prayed last night and asked the Lord to support my candidacy, and He said no,” Perry told reporters outside the Texas Capitol, explaining that God had cited the governor’s rejection of federal stimulus funds to expand state jobless benefits, his irresponsible speculation about Texas seceding from the union, and his overall lack of concrete solutions to nation’s problems as reasons why He could not endorse a Perry presidential bid. “I believe God made some valid points about my lack of credentials, and He’s absolutely right. My extreme beliefs when it comes to social issues and states’ rights are not only disturbingly narrow-minded, but would also make me a horrible president.” When reached for comment, God said He would not be present at Perry’s much-talked-about Christian day of prayer on Aug. 6, calling the governor’s use of his public office to endorse a religion both “irresponsible” and a violation of the Constitution.

5 comments:

Fixer said...

I could get to like that God. Heh ...

Gordon said...

That's probably closer to what He would say if He actually did talk to the yingyangs who are assholes in His name. Or hit 'em with lightning.

Fixer said...

That label works now. Sorry, I didn't activate the feature when
I redid things around here.

Gordon said...

Think so, huh? Heh.

Fixer said...

Well, it shows up when you click the "Labels" link in the sidebar.