Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Only the General ...

Could validate Mark Halperin using the Book of Abraham via the lens of Mormonism:

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It all began a few months ago when my grandson gave me a pair of crystals he had grown from a kit Jesus left under the Christmas tree. I quickly fashioned the crystals into a crude Urim and Thummim and began translating Facsimile #2 using the same method Joseph Smith employed--that is, as Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles describes it: “Joseph Smith would put the seer stone into a hat, and put his face in the hat, drawing it closely around his face to exclude the light..."

I began by translating the Reformed Egyptian characters found on the upper outer edge, and was surprised to find that my translation differs from the Prophet Joseph's. I don't know why that is. Perhaps, God waited to reveal a second meaning until a more proper time. The context within my translation would support that.

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In fact, the General has the whole race figured out.

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What about the other candidates?

Herman Cain: Well, this is Mormon scripture. He's not...uh..celestially acceptable.

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Heh ...

1 comment:

Gordon said...

...that god-damned Nubian-looking, secretly Baal worshipping, gold-taxing commie bastard from South of Kush

My sides, they hurt...