Sunday, May 1, 2005

Laura rocked, sorta...

For our big Saturday night blow-out, me 'n Mrs. G watched the White House correspondents Association dinner on C-Span. What's that you say? Get a life? No thanks. Been there, done that. It sucks. Anyway, it was fair ta middlin' light entertainment. The WHCA gives scholarships, so that's good. That annual dinner is supposed to be the hottest ticket in D.C. They need to get a life. From the WaPo:
The president takes the podium in the ballroom and begins to tell a joke about cows.

"Not that old joke!" cries a heckler at the head table. Who turns out to be the first lady. She gestures for her husband to take his seat. "I've been attending these dinners for years, just quietly sitting there," Mrs. Bush says. "Now I've got a few things to say."

"I'm proud of George," she told the ballroom. "He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year he tried to milk a horse." Pause. "It was a male horse." Pandemonium ensued in a room filled with tough acts to follow.

"At 9 p.m. Mr. Excitement here is asleep and I'm watching 'Desperate Housewives.' Ladies and gentlemen, I'm a desperate housewife!"

The first lady on her in-laws: "First prize is a three-day vacation with the Bush family. Second prize is 10 days."

Here's the joke the WaPo didn't print.

Mrs. Bush says, "One night, I, Lynne, Condi, and Karen snuck out and went to Chippendale's. We weren't going to tell, but Ruth Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there. As a result of that evening, Lynne Cheney's got a new Secret Service nickname: Dollar Bill!"

Cedric the Entertainer was good, but he really couldn't top her. His best stuff was about Condi, something like, "There's two of 'em. ya know There's Connie who is smart, talks well, and tries to be a diplomat. Then there's Deleeza, who sits around with her hair up, in a wore out bathrobe, suckin' on a forty and watchin' BET."

Go read. There's a lot of stuff about celebs that's really important to the conduct of the White House Correspondents. Yeesh.

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