Friday, October 28, 2011

Note to Hermie

Herman Cain Denies That Palestinian People Exist

Dude, it's obvious that you're doubling down on the crazy to try to get out of this mess you created and then stepped in deeper than you could have ever imagined, but on the surface you're going about it the wrong way. The whackos in the Dead End Quarter fuckin' love it! You underestimated their stupidity, didn't you? Screwed yerself good! Heh. If you want to get out now you need to say something sane.

You damn near did it with your first stance on abortion which I understood perfectly - you are personally against it but it's a woman's right to choose - but then you muddied it all up. That might yet work, though.

Then there's your TV ad. Brilliant on all counts! That was the absolutely creepiest thing I've seen! Your little death-grin at the end is a masterpiece! Plus, it's comedy gold and so will be seen by many, many normal voters.

You can't just drop out because you don't want to be seen as a quitter.

It has become obvious to me that you are really a far-thinking man. You're a big favorite amongst the idiots who vote in Repug primaries and the writing on the wall, misspelled as it is, says you might just win the primary and the nomination even though the Repug power people have already chosen Willard, but that might fall through.

You, like Willard, are already running for the general election. You know the relatively sane American voters will never, ever, make a know-nothing egocentric arrogant SOB like you President. Not again. We remember the Chimp.

Sleep well, my brother. We'll fix this mess for you. You will get your 11th-hour reprieve from a job you don't want and aren't qualified for on election day if it comes to that.


Fixer said...

Paraphrasing Karen Finney on Martin Bashir" "Cain is a black man who 'knows his place'" and that's why the conservatards like him.

Gordon said...

She really said that?! (jaw drops)

merlallen said...

What's going to be funny as hell is those whackjob wingnuts are faced with a choice between a cult member and a black man.

Gordon said...

Oooooooh! Cold shot! Right on the money too! :-)

BadTux said...

Herman's just repeating what he was told to think by Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir, who similarly replied, when asked about the Palestinian problem, "there is no such thing as a Palestinian."

Which, BTW, is still official Israeli government doctrine -- there is no such thing as a Palestinian, only Arabs who should move to some Arab nation rather than bother Israel with their presence in the Promised Land. Given the influence of AIPAC and the neo-cons in the Republican Party, it's no accident that Mr. Cain is repeating their official party line.

- Badtux the Memory Hole Penguin