Monday, November 19, 2012

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

White House Inundated With Petitions From Various States To Secede
Feel they can do just fine without interstate highways, space program.
They want the checks from the rest of us to keep coming, however. As far as I'm concerned, they can fucking starve. Most of 'em need to lose weight anyway.

Romney Blames Loss on Obama Giving “Gifts” to Minorities, Young People
Bought them off with life, liberty, pursuit of happiness.

Methamphetamine Found To Reduce Risk of Flu
Ask your dealer if methamphetamine is right for you.
Biggest problem I've seen with crank is running out after you take your car apart. Heh.

??? - News Quiz - ???
Mitt Romney lost the election because:
A ) he's cruel to dogs.
B ) he's out of touch with average Americans.
C ) he has no sympathy for people who need government help.
D ) he holds positions on social issues at odds with a majority of Americans.
E ) he never paid his fair share in taxes.
F ) he avoided military service but supports an expansionist American military.
G ) he thinks half of us are lazy moochers.
H ) he wants undocumented immigrants to be hounded out of the country.
I ) he changed his position on a range of issues numerous times.
J ) he made his living pleasing investors at the expense of American workers.
Hint: he had us at dogs.

This had to happen:

Cracker Jack Introduces Caffeine-Coated Version
Created in response to longer baseball games.
The "7th inning stretch" was replaced with the "7th inning snooze" some time ago.

2 comments:

Bustednuckles said...

"Ask your dealer if methamphetamine is right for you."

God dammit, I should know better than to try and eat or drink while I am reading your stuff by now.
I almost had scrambled eggs come out my nose!

That is a good one.

Gordon said...

I love ya, Nucks! :-)