Monday, March 25, 2013

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

WHITE HOUSE PETITION CALLS FOR
POLITICIANS TO WEAR NASCAR-LIKE ADVERTISING

And keep all their cash bribes in a clear plastic
globe on their desk.
GOP Leaders Decide It's Time to Reverse Course
They'll reverse their position on immigration, gays, taxes, abortion and urge fellow Republicans to begin cross-dressing and getting tattoos.
That would be an improvement. The Big House is a good place to get tattoos. Their cellies might set 'em on the road to cross-dressing too. Heh.
Another Putin Critic Living In Exile Commits Suicide
Once again by stabbing self in foot with poison-tipped umbrella.
Much more believable than twelve self-administered rounds in the back of the head.

REMINDER
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is about twenty cops with guns.
Shit, that's how many cops show up for a DUI arrest. Heh.

Zippers Cause Most Penis Injuries, Study Finds
Except in Scotland.
Ah don' care, Ah'm nae wearin' a skirrrt! Y-fronts 'neath mah breeks ha' always sufficed!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Goin' ridin'

Spring done sprung early this year so I'm off to ride the PITS trial at Prairie City today. See yas.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

One of my favorite songs. Written by Chris Hillman and Gram Parsons.

Published on Mar 18, 2013
Emmylou Harris Rodney Crowell " Wheels" SXSW 2013 Waterloo Records

Thanks to walken16.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Unintended irony is where you find it

What's funny about this is the GOP already has the worst sinners and biggest criminals. Heh.

Click to embiggen
Thanks to YubaNet.

Quote of the Day

From Daddy Frank on the National Circus.

The House GOP still doesn’t know that Obama won the election. This includes Paul Ryan, who is like one of those Japanese soldiers who kept on fighting on a remote atoll years after V-J Day, refusing to believe that his army had been defeated.
Heh. I get a visual of Lyin' Ryan sneaking outta the woods at night to steal food and clothes. From widows and orphans, of course.

Like, Duh Headline of the Day

Republicans can’t tell fact from fiction
Punk'd again. It's almost too easy. Heh.

A Republican discovers his heart

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on Senator Portman's reversal of his stance on gay marriage.

Bingo. After years of deep homophobia and toeing the heartless party line, the mildly thoughtful senator finally snapped to the fact that his kid deserved as much right to be as in love, legally married, miserable and undersexed as anyone else.
Heh.

By the way, isn’t it interesting how you never see a Portman-type scenario in reverse? How you will never hear an intelligent progressive step up to a microphone and say, “Ladies and gentlemen, after years of fighting for liberal causes, I’ve come to the conclusion, after my daughter revealed she’s a born-again Christian, that I’ve had it all wrong. I now believe women are far inferior to men, and the church should make all the decisions about their horrible vaginas. Also, more guns will solve the problem of all the guns, homosexuality is a disease, and black people should never be allowed anywhere near a public drinking fountain. Thank you.” True heart openings are always toward the progressive; true thoughtfulness never constricts.
Never say never, young Mark. Such thoughtfulness as I've been able to muster has constricted my heart towards conservatives. Whenever, rarely it seems, one of them appears to see the light, I'm suspicious of his motives.

Perhaps this is the ugly downside of Portman’s epiphany, and why it made headlines at all: because of the stark contrast to the norm. Because the right’s intolerance is still so heartless and cruel. Because so many conservatives still react in the exact opposite manner when their kid – or any kid – comes out.

Which is to say, they will not welcome their gay child. They will not offer compassion, understanding or love. Many gay children are instead shunned, abused, beaten, rejected and kicked out of the house. The parents will refuse to attend the gay wedding, refuse to allow the gay partner into the home, will never speak to their godless pervert kid ever again.

Don’t think it happens much anymore? You are wrong. It happens far more than you think. And it’s behavior completely exclusive to the conservative right.
My point exactly. They are slowing the progress of the world.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

March Madness

Heh.

Click to embiggen
Thanks to YubaNet.

Letter From A Dying Veteran

Truthdig, in toto.

To: George W. Bush and Dick Cheney
From: Tomas Young

I write this letter on the 10th anniversary of the Iraq War on behalf of my fellow Iraq War veterans. I write this letter on behalf of the 4,488 soldiers and Marines who died in Iraq. I write this letter on behalf of the hundreds of thousands of veterans who have been wounded and on behalf of those whose wounds, physical and psychological, have destroyed their lives. I am one of those gravely wounded. I was paralyzed in an insurgent ambush in 2004 in Sadr City. My life is coming to an end. I am living under hospice care.

I write this letter on behalf of husbands and wives who have lost spouses, on behalf of children who have lost a parent, on behalf of the fathers and mothers who have lost sons and daughters and on behalf of those who care for the many thousands of my fellow veterans who have brain injuries. I write this letter on behalf of those veterans whose trauma and self-revulsion for what they have witnessed, endured and done in Iraq have led to suicide and on behalf of the active-duty soldiers and Marines who commit, on average, a suicide a day. I write this letter on behalf of the some 1 million Iraqi dead and on behalf of the countless Iraqi wounded. I write this letter on behalf of us all—the human detritus your war has left behind, those who will spend their lives in unending pain and grief.

I write this letter, my last letter, to you, Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney. I write not because I think you grasp the terrible human and moral consequences of your lies, manipulation and thirst for wealth and power. I write this letter because, before my own death, I want to make it clear that I, and hundreds of thousands of my fellow veterans, along with millions of my fellow citizens, along with hundreds of millions more in Iraq and the Middle East, know fully who you are and what you have done. You may evade justice but in our eyes you are each guilty of egregious war crimes, of plunder and, finally, of murder, including the murder of thousands of young Americans—my fellow veterans—whose future you stole.

Your positions of authority, your millions of dollars of personal wealth, your public relations consultants, your privilege and your power cannot mask the hollowness of your character. You sent us to fight and die in Iraq after you, Mr. Cheney, dodged the draft in Vietnam, and you, Mr. Bush, went AWOL from your National Guard unit. Your cowardice and selfishness were established decades ago. You were not willing to risk yourselves for our nation but you sent hundreds of thousands of young men and women to be sacrificed in a senseless war with no more thought than it takes to put out the garbage.

I joined the Army two days after the 9/11 attacks. I joined the Army because our country had been attacked. I wanted to strike back at those who had killed some 3,000 of my fellow citizens. I did not join the Army to go to Iraq, a country that had no part in the September 2001 attacks and did not pose a threat to its neighbors, much less to the United States. I did not join the Army to “liberate” Iraqis or to shut down mythical weapons-of-mass-destruction facilities or to implant what you cynically called “democracy” in Baghdad and the Middle East. I did not join the Army to rebuild Iraq, which at the time you told us could be paid for by Iraq’s oil revenues. Instead, this war has cost the United States over $3 trillion. I especially did not join the Army to carry out pre-emptive war. Pre-emptive war is illegal under international law. And as a soldier in Iraq I was, I now know, abetting your idiocy and your crimes. The Iraq War is the largest strategic blunder in U.S. history. It obliterated the balance of power in the Middle East. It installed a corrupt and brutal pro-Iranian government in Baghdad, one cemented in power through the use of torture, death squads and terror. And it has left Iran as the dominant force in the region. On every level—moral, strategic, military and economic—Iraq was a failure. And it was you, Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney, who started this war. It is you who should pay the consequences.

I would not be writing this letter if I had been wounded fighting in Afghanistan against those forces that carried out the attacks of 9/11. Had I been wounded there I would still be miserable because of my physical deterioration and imminent death, but I would at least have the comfort of knowing that my injuries were a consequence of my own decision to defend the country I love. I would not have to lie in my bed, my body filled with painkillers, my life ebbing away, and deal with the fact that hundreds of thousands of human beings, including children, including myself, were sacrificed by you for little more than the greed of oil companies, for your alliance with the oil sheiks in Saudi Arabia, and your insane visions of empire.

I have, like many other disabled veterans, suffered from the inadequate and often inept care provided by the Veterans Administration. I have, like many other disabled veterans, come to realize that our mental and physical wounds are of no interest to you, perhaps of no interest to any politician. We were used. We were betrayed. And we have been abandoned. You, Mr. Bush, make much pretense of being a Christian. But isn’t lying a sin? Isn’t murder a sin? Aren’t theft and selfish ambition sins? I am not a Christian. But I believe in the Christian ideal. I believe that what you do to the least of your brothers you finally do to yourself, to your own soul.

My day of reckoning is upon me. Yours will come. I hope you will be put on trial. But mostly I hope, for your sakes, that you find the moral courage to face what you have done to me and to many, many others who deserved to live. I hope that before your time on earth ends, as mine is now ending, you will find the strength of character to stand before the American public and the world, and in particular the Iraqi people, and beg for forgiveness.
You nailed it, Mr. Young, and I think they realize full well what they did. Admitting to their lies is out of the question as is admitting to a "mistake". All the deaths, all the expense, all in vain for nothing but a neocon wet dream and an oil grab.

Even worse would be admitting they lost their criminal war of choice. Also, that they didn't get the oil they went to Iraq after and that they handed the joint to Iran.

They don't give a damn about the death and destruction and expense, now or for the rest of the time our nation will be paying for their crimes in myriad ways until all the Veterans and the memory are gone.

They will probably not get a "day of reckoning" this side of the veil where it might count. We will never get the pleasure from seeing them hang that we deserve.

I just hope the rest of us remember enough not to go to war with Iran.

Two Titans of Titanic Stupidity

The Political Garbage Chute

Karl Rove versus Sarah Palin…every comedic writer’s wet dream. And what makes this showdown even more delicious is that they are both right. I mean not about their ideological points of view. Oh, they’re definitely not right about anything of substance, not at all. But in terms of this feud –and more specifically the barbs they traded — they both landed solid, truthful blows on one another. Two titans of titanic stupidity locking horns, both of them the exact right poison their party needs to take in order to put themselves out of their misery once and for all.
I'm fuckin' lovin' it! More butter on that popcorn, please!

So we have two human beings who really ought to know better making grand statements about the other being the bigger asshole. Meanwhile, the country thinks they’re both assholes and most people don’t care what either Sarah Palin or Karl Rove think about anything.
...

What Rove and Palin’s clash demonstrates is that the GOP is in no position to recover from their tailspin of 2012. Both of them are nothing more than media whores at this point, trying to capitalize on former fame or success, though with Palin it’s fame without any real measurable success…other than being famous. In Rove’s case he’s a has-been who helped dismantle the Republican Party’s reputation for fiscal responsibility by helping secure eight years in office for the freely spending Bush Administration. The GOP’s survival depends on its ability to shun both Palin and Rove; neither represent a path forward for the party. But then again, not much that the Republicans have been doing would give anyone any indication that they even want to move forward.

Seeing the internal dysfunction within the Republican Party should give the rest of us our clearest insight yet into why President Obama has had such a hard time working with the House Republicans. They’re a party lost right now. The world is moving on without them. Marriage equality is a foregone conclusion, as at the very least removing marijuana from the list of drugs included in our insipid War on Drugs, and true single-payer health care isn’t that distant a dream either. Whether the Boomers or their children – the generation to which I belong — accomplish just these goals is the only real question. But regardless, these three unavoidable milestones are in America’s future, and what the GOP has to ask itself is just how far onto the wrong side of history do they want to be.
The Moosebreath/Turdblossom turkey slap and hissy fit of irrelevance between the money end of the GOP and the whackjob end is something we've seen coming since Grampa Walnuts' defeat and it's getting into full swing! About fuckin' time.

That's the federal GOP. The state GOPs are busy wrecking the joint, red state by red state. Elections matter.

Cheney Marks Tenth Anniversary of Pretending There Was Reason to Invade Iraq

Borowitz

The ceremony, held on the grounds of the Halliburton Company headquarters, brought together the former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, the former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz, and other key members of the lying effort.

Calling the assembled officials “profiles in fabrication,” Mr. Cheney praised them for their decade of dedication to a totally fictitious rationale.

“Making up a reason to invade a country is the easy part,” Mr. Cheney told them. “Sticking to a pretend story for ten years—that is the stuff of valor.”

Mr. Cheney added that their “steadfast charade had raised the bar for all future administrations.”

“When it is time to invade Iran or Venezuela, will the President have the will to make up an entirely fake reason to do it?” he asked. “That remains to be seen.”
It'd be a lot funnier if it wasn't for all the needless death and expense.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

FAR RIGHT LOCKS OUT FAR FAR RIGHT FROM CPAC CONFERENCE
Those too conservative for Sarah Palin met in adjoining rubber room.

New Pope Gets Right to Work
Hunkers down with Vatican lawyers.

Leaked Pentagon Report: F-35A Joint Strike Force Stealth Fighter Would Be Defeated in Aerial Combat
Recommends planes be sold to our enemies.
Who'll buy 'em now? Yeesh.

Subaru Recalls 47,000 Vehicles Because Their Engines Might Start Up on Their Own
Several have returned themselves to the factory.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Oh, the irony I missed...

The guys at Ironic Times haven't got this week's up yet and I have to go out. Here's one from last week that I missed:

Karzai: Taliban Working With U.S. to Keep War Going
Analysis: somebody didn't get his sack of cash this week.
That is probably closer to the truth than we'd like to think, but we're used to that.

New Republican Plan: Try to Fool All of the People All of the Time

El Rude-o on the Repugs' autopsy of Why They Lost.

[...] In other words, how to lie better and how to get more people to believe the lies, a new and improved motherfuckery.

See, the big problem is perception, you know. Yeah, it took massive polling and surveying and phone calling and a shit ton of money paid to someone to find out that when people are "[a]sked to describe Republicans, they said that the Party is 'scary,' 'narrow minded,' and 'out of touch' and that we were a Party of 'stuffy old men.'" Honestly, it sounds like they're describing a cabal of creepy child molesters or the Catholic Church (or, you know, both at the same time). And it ain't helped by shit like Mitch McConnell's white staff doing the "Harlem Shake."

The problem here isn't that people see the GOP as a bunch of cigar-smoking bankers. It's that people know what they are: a bunch of jerk-offs who believe appalling things who do nothing but block the efforts of the President they elected twice and who are supported by an assortment of Obama-deranged racists, gun-toting idiots, sexist and homophobic assholes, and Rush Limbaugh, along with the cigar-smoking bankers.
...

How hilariously does this document miss as a self-examination? Well, it's as if it grabbed its balls, felt a strange lump on one, and decided that all that it needed to do to make that go away is to masturbate more.
...

Here's a solution the Rude Pundit has proposed a number of times to Republicans: Stop being dicks. It's really that simple. You're a bunch of dicks. When you look in the mirror, that's a dick looking back at you. Honestly, if you want to have any relevance at all, it's all you gotta do. We see through the smoke screen, no matter who is blowing it.
Fat chance. To quit being dicks, they'd have to abandon their "principles" like they know the meaning of the word and give up all the mean-ass bullshit they've been peddling all these years. Ain't gonna happen without one helluva lot of funerals. Fine by me.

When a motorcycle is as broken as the Repug party, new chrome ain't gonna fix it. The only solution is to lift up the gas cap and slip a new motorcycle under it.

They need to break off the Tea Party but then they wouldn't have ANY voters. Heh.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Published on Mar 11, 2013

On May 15, 2011, Country Music Hall of Famer Emmylou Harris performed the National Anthem at the Nashville Sounds game.

Thanks to Michael Whitty.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

"Support the troops" my ass. Again.

When it comes to governance, it's no wonder Florida looks like a dick.

Houston Chronicle

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Florida's lieutenant governor resigned and nearly 60 other people were charged in a scandal involving a purported veterans charity that authorities said Wednesday was a front for a $300 million gambling operation.

The organization, Allied Veterans of the World, runs nearly 50 Internet parlors with computerized slot machine-style games, which have come under scrutiny in Florida but are in a gray legal area.

Even so, investigators said the charity was a fraud and executives gave precious little to veterans while lavishing millions on themselves, spending it on boats, beachfront condos and Maseratis, Ferraris and Porsches.
Go read the rest of this. Using Veterans to scam folks out of their hard-earned money chaps my ass. I hope the bitch gets twenty years. Everybody else too.

Bush Baggage


newsvandal

Nowadays, it’s awfully expensive to get all your baggage onto an airliner.

Unless your name is Bush and the plane is Air Force One.

In fact, the mainstream media has a long history of bending over backwards to help handle the Bush family’s substantial pile of baggage. Like a team of personal skycaps, they’ve dutifully stored it in the deep, dark memory hole we call “the past.”
List of 70 years worth of unpunished Bush family crimes follows. America's "First Family" of organized crime.

As we approach the 10th anniversary of “the war formerly known as Iraq,” the media focuses more on Brother George painting 50 dogs than on the relentless suffering and carnage both he and, by extension, we all left behind in Iraq. Too bad he didn’t literally “paint 50 dogs.” The media might actually obsess on that story. They sure as shootin’ don’t want anything to do with covering the chaos and death playing out every single day in Iraq.

Here’s a news flash: America destroyed a country under false pretenses.
Yep. America.

The real baggage here—the heavy historical baggage—is not simply the few “personal belongings” left behind on Air Force One by George and his band of Neo-Con artists. Rather, it is an ongoing indictment of America as a nation. Something we will carry for a long, long time.
...

So, keep this in mind when pundits and prognosticators discount the likelihood of another Bush presidency. If the last fifty years have proven anything, it’s that there is no amount of baggage that cannot be buried deep into the dark recesses of American history.

Just ask Henry Kissinger.
I think Jebbie is outta his fuckin' mind. Baggage? Boosh name's got plenty o' steenkin' BAGGAGE! He'll never be President. I have spoken.

A Message To CPAC From Something Caught In The La Brea Tar Pits

I'm from L.A. and grew up only a coupla miles from the Tar Pits, the very definition of "primordial ooze", so this one tickled my funny bone. In toto from Goblinbooks which is clever and getting to be a regular stop.


Guys, please stop.

Quit struggling. Struggling only makes it worse. Believe me, I know. If one of your main speakers is Sarah Palin, it is time to just admit you've lost. She sort of defines what losing is, right? Losing, at its worst, is becoming a terrible caricature of everything that's wrong with your side. I mean, I chewed off my own paw in frustration, and even I have the presence of mind to know inviting her was a bad move.

God, this is just painful for the rest of us to watch. Right now I have a dire wolf who's trapped here with me, and he's howling and trying to eat my face. And that's still way, way better than being stuck in a hotel room next to Rick Perry.

Why would you do this to yourselves? I'm a dumb animal, and I have no clue what viscosity is. You, on the other hand, just lost a well-publicized election by alienating women and social moderates. And you respond by torpedoing gay rights groups and inviting Santorum to slather you with his crazy talk. Do you understand that you have absolutely no excuse?

It's like you wanted to get into this terrible fix. It's like the futility of fighting for an ignorant and out of date worldview is just too much for you anymore. You're trying to go extinct, aren't you? I get that. Of course, you're going to take the new guys down with you. People will see Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio here, and they'll remember how deeply out of touch their views really are. Tar pits are like that. Everyone gets stuck together. Everyone dies together. If the GOP had any sense they'd just lock the doors on you people, and let nature take it's course. But we all know the GOP's track record...

I almost feel sorry for you. I really do. And then I remember who you are, and that feeling kind of goes away.

Well, I'll tell Reagan you're coming. Bye.
The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles has a Dinosaur Hall (click on #1 if the page has moved on) chock full of complete prehistoric critters hauled out of the La Brea Tar Pits, their bones blackened from millions of years submerged in the tar. I get a thrill up my leg when I think of today's dinosaurs (Moosebreath, Good Hair, Frothy Mixture, et al) on display like that! Soon, I hope.

It wouldn't hurt me even a little bit to watch the whites of their eyeballs disappear into the muck either.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Dead End Quarter is bigger than we thought

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on the Dead End Quarter, which can run as high as 37% depending on the issue.

Six percent of Americans believe in unicorns. Thirty-six percent believe in UFOs. A whopping 24 percent believe dinosaurs and man hung out together. Eighteen percent still believe the sun revolves around the Earth. Nearly 30 percent believe cloud computing involves… actual clouds. A shockingly sad 18 percent, to this very day, believe the president is a Muslim. Aren’t they cute? And Floridian?
...

In sum and all averaged out, it’s safe to say about 37 percent of Americans are just are not very bright. Or rather, quite shockingly dumb. Perhaps beyond reach. Perhaps beyond hope or redemption. Perhaps beyond caring about anything they have to say in the public sphere ever again. Sorry, Kansas.
...

It’s a fact even recognized by Louisiana’s own Gov. Bobby Jindal, who had the nerve to defy his own state’s (and his own party’s) famously low IQ by saying, after the last election, “The GOP must stop being the stupid party. It’s time for a new Republican Party that talks like adults.”

Of course he’s right. But where would that leave their base? And who will tell the megachurches? And does Jindal not know Louisiana is where they teach that the existence of the Loch Ness monster is evidence that evolution is a lie?

How it all really happened. Obviously.

Brings to mind a stunning study about facts and truths. Have you ever heard it? It goes something like: Here is hard evidence, scientific evidence, irrefutable proof that something is or is not true. Here is dinosaur bone, for example, which we know beyond a doubt is between 60 and 70 million years old. Amazing! Obviously!

But then comes the impossible snag: If you are hard-coded to believe otherwise, if your TV network or your ideology, your pastor or your lack of education tell you differently, you will still not believe it. No matter what. No matter how many facts, figures, common senses slap you upside the obvious. You will think there is conspiracy, collusion, trickery afoot. The Bible says that bone is only eight thousand years old. Science is elitist. Liberals hate God. The end.
I would say that liberals hate people who claim that God tells them who to hate.

[...] Christianity is a total fabrication! Always has been, always will be.
So are all religions that aren't based on the world around us. I tell people I'm a Pre-Jacobite Animist Gnostic. I've never been asked to explain. Heh.

Please read the rest. The young feller makes some more good points.

Why You Don't Need to Give a Shit About Paul Ryan's Budget

El Rude-o on Ryan's "budget".

The Rude Pundit is sick of Paul Ryan. He's sick of Ryan's goofy fuckin' face, he's sick of Ryan's slickly sincere voice, he's sick of Ryan rolling into town with donkey piss in a bottle and sellin' it to us like it's the key to eternal life. That cart's been here before, we heard everything he's had to say, and we chased his yowling ass away, tarred and feathered, back to Wisconsin.
...

The proper way to think about Paul Ryan's latest iteration of his budget, a budget that helped the GOP to lose in 2012, a budget that was rejected by the majority of voters through the election, is that it's a proposal of punishment for a nation that rejected the Republican way of doing things (my em). It's Ryan's and the GOP's way of saying to 99% of America, "Fuck you." Ryan may as well have put a picture of himself flipping us off on the cover.
What could I possibly add to that?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Making Believe

This one goes out to Paul "Lyin'" Ryan for his latest fairy tale budget.

Thanks to manbehindthescreen1, Netherlands.

"Xbox Medal" On Hold

Good. McClatchy.

The military has stopped production of a new medal for remote warfare troops - drone operators and cyber warfighters - as it considers complaints from veterans and lawmakers over the award, a government official said Tuesday.
...

Officials said in announcing the medal last month that it would be the first combat-related award to be created since the Bronze Star in 1944. And they said that in recognition of the evolving 21st century warfare, the medal would be considered a bit higher in ranking than the Bronze Star, but lower than the Silver Star.

The Veterans of Foreign War and other groups say that ranking it ahead of the Bronze Star and Purple Heart is an injustice to those who served on the front-lines.

John Bircher, a spokesman for the Military Order of the Purple Heart, has said the veterans groups are not objecting to the medal - just the ranking. He said some medals ranked ahead of the Purple Heart are achievement medals that can be earned outside of war time. What bothers many veterans is that the new Distinguished Warfare Medal appears be a war-time medal that trumps acts of valor, which he finds insulting.
If I had a name like "John Bircher" I'd have sued my parents long ago... But I digress...

Fuckin' A it's insulting! Putting a medal for essentially playing a video game from the comfort of a stateside billet ahead of one earned in Shitholestan with a rifle in your hands is damned insulting. I realize that Air Force butterbar 2d Lieutenants need recognition for their "bravery" and since they mostly "fight" from Nellis AFB, how about discount coupons at Nye County brothels?

Monday, March 11, 2013

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Holder Admits It's “Difficult” to Prosecute Big Banks Due to Possible “Negative Impact” on Economy
Much easier to impeach Attorney General for failing to enforce laws.
And replace him with Elizabeth Warren.

North Korea Threatens to End 60-Year Cease-Fire With South
If South Korea won't replace transmission on Dennis Rodman's Hyundai.
Heh.

Scientists: We’d Have to Drink 100 Bottles of Wine a Day to Get Anti-Ageing, Obesity, Diabetes, Cancer-Fighting Benefits
So better get started early in the day.
No word on the possible effect on productivity.

Disgraced Ex-Gov. Sanford Asks Wife He Dumped to Run His Campaign for Congress
His campaign slogan: “He's Got Chutzpah.”
Big brass ones!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

CPAC: The GOP’s Archipelago of Awkward Confederates

Bill Berkowitz

A parade of the usual suspects (Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich), and wannabees (Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, Bobby Jindal, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan) will grace the stage. NRA President David Keene and its Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre are also scheduled speakers.

The Tea Party’s influence on CPAC will be writ large, according to Devin Burghart, the vice president of the Institute for Research & Education on Human Rights. In a piece titled “Tea Party Dominates CPAC 2013 Agenda,” Burghart pointed out that CPAC13 will be dominated by Tea Party leaders, Tea Party organizations, and Tea-Party-supported politicians.
...

[...] In a recent column, Kincaid supporting the exclusion of GOProud from CPAC, he argued that, “There is no such thing as a ‘gay conservative,’ unless the term ‘conservative’ has lost all meaning. But there is a homosexual movement that has its roots in Marxism and is characterized by anti-Americanism and hatred of Christian values.”

“Rather than debate whether ‘gay conservatives’ exist or ought to have prominent speaking roles, CPAC should be sponsoring a panel on the dangers of the homosexual movement and why some of its members seem prone to violence, terror, and treason,” Kincaid wrote.
...

And then there’s the case of Pamela Geller, the ever-ready always misunderstood anti-Muslim provocateur that says that for the first time in years will not be attending CPAC. On The Janet Mefferd Show the Atlas Shrugs blogger accused CPAC organizers of enforcing Sharia law against her.

Geller claimed that her attacks against Grover Norquist, the head of Americans for Tax Reform, and Suhail Khan, a former Bush political appointee and Senior Fellow for Muslim-Christian Understanding at the Institute for Global Engagement, for “refus[ing] to address jihad, sharia, the war on freedom in the West,” as the reason for her exclusion.

Geller’s exclusion from CPAC, according to People for the American Way’s Right Wing Watch, “represent[s] yet another development in annual conservative gathering’s frequent clashes over Islamophobia. Anti-Muslim activists like Geller, David Horowitz, Frank Gaffney and Robert Spencer claim that the Muslim Brotherhood and its cohorts, namely Grover Norquist and Suhail Khan, are trying to infiltrate the conservative movement.”

Islamophobes shouldn’t fret: Right Wing Watch is reporting that several reliably anti-Muslim speakers will have their moments to shine. Former congressman Allen West will speak as will Judicial Watch’s Tom Fitton Apparently Fitton believes that the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security and the State Department “are all working together with radical Islamists from the Muslim Brotherhood.”

The irrepressible Newt Gingrich, who to the delight of his Sugar Daddy, the billionaire casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, “consistently attacked the Muslim community during his presidential campaign and claimed that Muslims in the US are trying to impose Sharia law,” will also perform for the faithful. As will former Pennsylvania Senator, and failed presidential candidate. Rick Santorum. Rounding out the anti-Sharia law warriors is Texas Senator Ted Cruz, the closest thing we currently have to the re-embodiment of Senator Joseph McCarthy.
There are times I wish AG Holder hadn't said Obama can't use drone strikes on Americans inside the U.S. They're bunched up at CPAC and we could get 'em all and solve a lot of problems with one round. Drat that pesky Constitution sometimes.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Published on Feb 15, 2013

EMMYLOU HARRIS performs @ A Tribute To Mike Auldridge at The Birchmere, in Alexandria, Virginia. One of three Emmylou songs recorded. The ninth video of 12 filmed @ A Tribute To Mike Auldridge, master of the dobro, who co-founded The Seldom Scene, the legendary progressive Bluegrass band. Mike died in December, 2012 at the age of 73. The artistes who performed to a capacity audience at The Birchmere, in Alexandria, VA, included, in no particular order: Jerry Douglas, Tom Gray, David Bromberg, Emmylou Harris, Frank Solivan, Rickie Simpkins, Mike Munford, Darren Beachley, Lou Reid, Ron Ickes, Sally Van Meter, Ben Eldridge, John Starling, Chris Luquette, Fred Travers, Jimmy Gaudreau, Danny Booth, Michael Coleman, Eric Brace, and Peter Cooper. The Seldom Scene, and Chesapeake bands also appeared. Recorded on Tuesday, February 12, 2013. [Kristine King]

Thanks to krysia5, Canada.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Why the Invasion of Iraq Was the Single Worst Foreign Policy Decision in American History

Let me count the ways...

Today's 'must read' at Truthout

Not to put too fine a point on it, but the invasion of Iraq turned out to be a joke. Not for the Iraqis, of course, and not for American soldiers, and not the ha-ha sort of joke either. And here’s the saddest truth of all: on March 20th as we mark the 10th anniversary of the invasion from hell, we still don’t get it. In case you want to jump to the punch line, though, it’s this: by invading Iraq, the U.S. did more to destabilize the Middle East than we could possibly have imagined at the time. And we -- and so many others -- will pay the price for it for a long, long time.
No shit. Go.

Related:

We Are Living in the World Dick Cheney Made

The portrait is riveting because we know what Cheney's ascent led to: our seemingly irrevocable, full-blown security state, with all the attendant risks of constitutional and civil liberties abuses; wholesale destruction and civilian deaths in swaths of Afghanistan and Iraq; more than 6,500 dead and more than 50,000 wounded U.S. soldiers; the rise of remote-control warfare, now embodied by drones; and a relationship with the Arab and Muslim worlds arguably more antagonistic than ever before. The film has the dreadful fascination of a road trip you know ends in a car wreck.
Please pardon me for obsessing on Cheney, but I hate that war criminal coward bastard more than I've hated anyone in my life. I hate that he's allowed to walk the earth a free man as well. Well, not all the earth, just this country. Some of the other nations see things more clearly than we do and have issued arrest warrants for him as the war criminal he is. We're stuck with him.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

McCain Tells Paul To Get Off His Lawn

Raw Story

Speaking on the Senate floor Thursday, Sens. John McCain (R-AZ) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC) tore into Sen. Rand Paul’s (R-KY) “ridiculous” 13-hour filibuster, chastising the junior senator for a speech that was “not helpful” and not in keeping with Republican orthodoxy on the terror war.

McCain specifically objected to Paul saying that a future president as evil as Nazi leader Adolph Hitler could one day come to power and use drones to kill political opponents like actress and peace activist Jane Fonda.
Heh. I actually have no objection to nuking Hanoi Jane but I think it would be more fitting to run her over with a Maybach. But that's just me...

What I think Grampa Walnuts is really pissed off at Paul about is that his filibuster stunt might set a precedent, that GOP obstructionists will actually have to get up and read the phone book instead of "silent filibustering" anonymously while they go to lunch with their big donors like they've gotten used to doing.

Heh...

Thanks to YubaNet.

2d Amendment spiralling ad absurdum

BooMan

I want a AH-64 Apache attack helicopter. I am assured that it is the best attack helicopter in the world and if it's not, it's close enough. It can fly 184 miles per hour. It can go 323 miles on a tank of gas. It has a 30mm automatic cannon that can fire 1200 rounds, and it can carry 16 antitank Hellfire missiles. It can also carry 76 unguided 2.75 inch rockets. With this helicopter, I could theoretically destroy 80% of a standard Russian tank battalion in a single sortie. I am firmly convinced that possession of this helicopter will prevent me from ever having to worry about a situation where law and order breaks down because the police can’t travel, there’s no communication. And there are armed gangs roaming around neighborhoods. In fact, the mere possibility of such a breakdown in civilization means that I have an inalterable and inalienable right to this helicopter, because there is nothing so poorly regulated as an armed gang.

At first, I thought that a semiautomatic AR-15 rifle or a double-barrel shotgun would be sufficient, especially if equipped with the correct accouterments. But the more I dwell on Lindsey Graham's dystopian talking points, the more I feel compelled to be on the safe side.

I'm going with the AH-64 Apache attack helicopter. Just try and stop me.
And if you can operate the thing with an Xbox controller, you won't even have to get off the couch! Neither will the 2d Lieutenant at Nellis who takes your $18 million ($9M (?) second-hand) Apache out with a cheaper-than-dirt (relatively speaking) AMRAAM which he launched from a latest-gen Predator drone, suitably upgraded for just such upstarts as you, using his Xbox controller without getting up off his couch.

Your money will sprinkle to earth but at least you won't be part of the debris. And the butterbar at Nellis will probably get a medal. Heh.

The Sequester is Good for You, and Other GOP Lies

William Rivers Pitt

Let me see if I have this right.

A generation of GOP trickle-down economic thievery depth-charged the American economy and set the nation trembling on the edge of collapse, combined a decade ago with massive GOP-supported tax cuts and two brutally expensive GOP-supported wars that eviscerated the Clinton budget surplus. This was followed by five years of the GOP filibustering everything and the sink in the men's room in order to thwart any genuine economic recovery, because they did not want the president to get the credit, and be damned to the people. Today, that same GOP has forced the country into this sequester nonsense because, according to their bastard gospel, closing tax loopholes for rich people and corporations in order to curb the debt they accrued makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Yep. You're doing fine so far.

The Congressional Budget Office estimates that we have spent $767 billion in Iraq since the invasion. The National Priorities Project, a US-based research firm, puts the number at $811 billion.
I think the actual number will be somewhere north of $3 Trillion.

Make no mistake: Iraq was a Republican war, championed by Republicans, advocated by Republicans, defended by Republicans, which paid out vast sums of taxpayer dollars to corporate friends of Republicans. Anyone who says, "But the Democrats did it, too," fine, OK, please name for me the Democrats umbilically connected to Halliburton and KBR. I'll wait.

Now these same Republicans have delivered us into this sequester because they say we can't afford things like Medicare, Social Security, clean air, safe food, the Post Office, staffed control towers, jobs, and adequate hospital care.

The greed frenzy of trickle-down nonsense. Two massive tax cuts, and two wars. Rampant war profiteering. Comprehensive obstructionism in Congress when presented with any effective proposals for salvaging the economy. Now, the sequester, all brought to you by your friends in the GOP, who tell us that we're broke, and can't afford nice things anymore...but whatever you do, don't look at all the ways we throw billions at our friends through the money laundering process of warfare and militarization.

Yeah, I have this right.
Yes, yes you do.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I'll Kill You for This Column

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford, coming to you today from HuffPo, on the deaths of journalists in Mexico.

I've won a few wonderful awards and accolades for my work so far. I've been, in turns, hugely proud and quickly humbled, honored beyond belief, thrilled when someone tells me my work has inspired change or induced a profound realization. In my line, this is all you can really ask for.

I've also been reviled by the Christian right, called the anti-Christ more times than I can count; I've been verbally spat upon by extreme right-wing knuckle draggers, threatened with lawsuit by Mormonism and Scientology, had the head of SF's Catholic archdiocese complain, multiple times, to Chronicle HQ about my ongoing and enthusiastic condemnation of the church. High badges of honor, all.

And yes, I've even had a couple straight-up death threats, but they came from neck-deep in the heartland muck, from sub-humans who are, I'm convinced, far too terrified to come anywhere near San Francisco lest they turn instantly liberal or gay. So it's never been a serious concern.

But then again, I've never been involved in the kind of reportage that has you dodging bullets while interviewing surviving family members of a decapitated police captain, or that has you hiding out in a cave to write your report on the Chinese military beating monks in Tibet, all for little pay, for the sheer need to get the story out to a numb and wary world that doesn't really want to hear it much anymore.
...

Of course, I also realize it's nothing new. War zones and deadly hotspots the world over are famously attractive to thrill-seeking writers and photojournalists exactly for their high-adrenaline, death-wish risks. But it's one thing to knowingly incite the fundamentalist clods in Iraq or Pakistan, quite another to face death in a fast-developing first world democracy, a land of ravishing beauty and fine arts, intellectual power and tremendous urban development.

This is, perhaps, the most harrowing aspect of the killing of journalists in Mexico (now second only to Iraq as the most dangerous place in the world to be a reporter): We are not that far removed. Despite America's "maturity," despite all our supposed First Amendment protections and moral righteousness, we are but a few small steps away from Mexico's brutish violence and ingrained political dishonesty.
...

It also begets a strange and tragic irony: I recall a study not long ago from an American Ph.D. student who examined terrorists the world over and found something rather surprising.

All those sophisticated, calculating, evil masterminds orchestrating vast, intricate networks of educated rebels in the art of fear and violence? They don't really exist. There are no smarmy, highly-educated James Bond villains, no evil Die Hard-type Russian masterminds trying to hack the mainframe of international conglomerates, no evil genius sitting in a leather armchair, arming nukes while stroking a hairless cat on his lap.

There is no Scarface. There is no Tony Soprano. There was no Wild West. With rare exception, the romantic American notion of shrewd drug kingpin, sly mastermind terrorist, suave nightclub gangster is pure violence porn, just dumb Hollywood fantasy.

The truth is far more banal...
And it will kill you just as dead and for real.

Just Die, Dick

MoDo gets it right for once in a long time.

In a documentary soon to appear on Showtime, “The World According to Dick Cheney,” America’s most powerful and destructive vice president woos history by growling yet again that he was right and everyone else was wrong.
Yeah, like a military marching formation, everybody was outta step but him. Asshole doesn't begin to cover it.

Talking to Cutler in his deep headmaster’s monotone, Cheney dispenses with the fig leaf of “we.” He no longer feigns deference to W., whom he now disdains for favoring Condi over him in the second term, and for not pardoning “Cheney’s Cheney,” Scooter Libby.
"Feigns deference to W." That was his M.O. the whole time. We know who was in charge, and it wasn't the Chimp.

He was always goosing up W.’s insecurities so he could take advantage of them. To make his crazy and appallingly costly detour from Osama to Saddam, and cherry-pick his fake case for invading Iraq, he played on W.’s fear of being lampooned as a wimp, as his father had been.

But after Vice kept W. out of the loop on the Justice Department’s rebellion against Cheney’s illegal warrantless domestic spying program, the relationship was ruptured. It was too late to rein in the feverish vice president, except to tell him he couldn’t bomb a nuclear plant in the Syrian desert.

“I don’t lie awake at night thinking, gee, what are they going to say about me?” he sums up.

They’re going to say you were a misguided powermonger who, in a paranoid spasm, led this nation into an unthinkable calamity. Sleep on that.
And don't bother waking up. This nation has unfortunately, or maybe cowardly, given him the greatest gift of his misbegotten life - the ability to die a free man instead of in prison or Gitmo like he ought to.

Note to the Dick: Take advantage of that gift and die, motherfucker. Today would be just fine.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Headline of the Day

Why Jeb Bush will never be president
Note to Jeb: Your father wasn't the worst President in U.S. history, but your brother WAS and the Bush name is mud is the real reason you'll never be President. Maybe in ten generations or so, when everybody alive today is dead and the lessons of history have been forgotten once again.

FAQ the Pope

Will Durst

Q. When was the last time a pope retired?

A. Thursday.

Q. No, before that.

A. July 4, 1415. Gregory XII stepped down to head off on a hot weekend with his brother- in- law’s sister’s seamstress’ pool boy in Sardinia.
...

Q. Is it true the Catholic Church is fast tracking the election process?

A. Yes, they’ve thrown themselves into a frenzy of hyperactivity. Which means accelerating all the way past erosion right up to snail’s pace. For instance they have yet to meet to decide when to convene.

Q. Who gets to vote for the new Pope?

A. All Cardinals under the age of 80 not currently under indictment are allowed to vote.
...

Q. How does this vote work?

A. For the first seven rounds, a 2/3rds majority if required, after that just 50% plus one. In the past, the College of Cardinals have been deadlocked for up to three years. which would make a great mini-series. NBC should jump on this.

Q. What’s the deal with the smoke?

A. After each vote, the ballots are burned. If no winner is picked, a chemical is added to make the smoke black. If there is a winner, no chemical added- smoke remains white. Green smoke is just some priest encouraging Romans to recycle.

Q. What kind of shot do Americans have?

A. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. Really, does it always have to be about us?
Q. Who the fuck cares?

Monday, March 4, 2013

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

State Dept. Approves Keystone Pipeline
Dept. of Energy approves arming Syrian rebels.

Supreme Court Seems Poised To Strike Down Major Provision Of Voting Rights Act
By a vote of 4 3/5 to 4.
Heh.

Arizona Senate Approves Gold, Silver as Legal Tender
Beefs up stagecoach security.

Supreme Court Shields Gov’t Secret Surveillance Because Evidence Proving It Would Be Secret
Majority opinion written by Joseph Heller, with concurring opinion by Lewis Carroll.
Heh 22.

There ain't enough lipstick in the fuckin' world...

Daddy Frank's latest feature piece. Long, many links, good read.

Lipstick on an Elephant

Deep behind a tangle of denial and rebranding initiatives, a GOP resuscitation plan emerges.
I'm down wid "Do Not Resuscitate", but that's just me.

Pops goes through Repug Plans A to C and then explains why they won't work:

The GOP’s problem isn’t bad messaging; it’s that its message has been, if anything, all too readily understood.
Bada-bing!

He then compares the GOP's problems today with virtually the same problem they had in '64 with Goldwater and the Reagan resurgence which is what we see ending today, thank you Jesus. He then offers probably the only solution that will work for them:

These days, the GOP has no new Reagan as yet waiting in the wings. It faces a demographic cliff that may take far longer than two years to scale, no matter how many blind mountain climbers deliver pep talks—especially if Republicans in Congress can’t even mobilize on immigration reform this year. But the party controls far more of American governance, federal and local, than it did after Goldwater’s defeat. It has continued to push the country—and both the current and previous Democratic president—incrementally to the right. Whatever the acronym stands for, the GOP remains nothing if not true to itself. It could not be rebranded even if it wanted to change—and it does not want to. A cosmetic face-lift would fool no one. Its current leaders are more faithful than ever—more faithful than Nixon, Ford, and both George Bushes ever were—to the principles laid down by Goldwater and Reagan. In the end, the party’s best bet may be not to do something but just stand there until history cycles back to it once more.
That'll work. I'll be dead and gone and I plan to live a whole lot longer than them if just to spite them.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Published on Mar 1, 2013
Singers Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell perform "Chase the Feeling" from their new album, "Old Yellow Moon," in the Wall Street Journal's studio in New York.

Thanks to WSJDigitalNetwork·

Friday, March 1, 2013

"Is John Boehner Drunk At Work?"

Heh. Thank you, Old Fart, for making this so easy!

And I heartily concur that drug testing for people taking our tax money, in this case three breathalyzer tests per day, should start at the top to set a good example.

Scalia's slam of the Voting Rights Act is a bar-stool rant


LATimes

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is alleged to be one of the great intellects of conservative jurisprudence, but his comments during oral arguments over a challenge to the 1965 Voting Rights Act displayed all the mental acuity of a third-tier talk radio bozo.
...

In court on Wednesday, however, Scalia mocked that vote. He said the Senate’s unanimity simply proved the law had not been given serious consideration. The senators were afraid, he said, to cast a vote against a law with a "wonderful" name. He went on to assert that the reauthorization of the act was merely "a phenomenon that is called perpetuation of racial entitlement."

That sort of legal reasoning may be good enough for someone sitting on a bar stool well into his third pint, but it is not good enough for the highest court in the land.
...

Tossing actual statistics back at Scalia, Justice Elena Kagan cited a string of continued voting-rights violations. As to the state of mind of the senators, she said the unanimous vote was pretty good proof that the evidence of contemporary abuses was convincing, even to conservative Southerners.

"It was clear to 98 senators, including every senator from a covered state, who decided that there was a continuing need for this piece of legislation," Kagan said.

Undeterred, Scalia opined that a law governing voting rights is "not the kind of question you can leave to Congress." Oh, really? The right to vote is the core of our constitutional democracy. It is not, as Scalia says, "a racial entitlement," it is an American entitlement. It seems that might be a very useful thing for Congress to watch over and protect. It was eminently important in 1965 and remains important today.
The crux of the biscuit:

Given the weirdness of his comments, it might not be wrong to assume Scalia's true concern is less about "racial entitlement" than it is about making sure his fellow Republicans are entitled. Entitled, that is, to manipulate elections when they can no longer win fair and square.
Word.

Rachel calls Fat Tony what he is

In case you missed this, you MUST see it!

In this exclusive, unedited interview, Rachel Maddow shares her in-person observations of the Supreme Court, and champions civil rights legislation.
And nails Fat Tony's considerable hide to the barn door in the process.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Headline of the Day

CPAC is the 'Star Wars Bar Scene of the Conservative Movement'
Heh. No shit!

Kagan, Sotomayor Bitch Slap Fat Tony

Dana Milbank

For a quarter-century, Antonin Scalia has been the reigning bully of the Supreme Court, but finally a couple of justices are willing to face him down.

As it happens, the two manning up to take on Nino the Terrible are women: the court’s newest members, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan.
Get that fat bastid, ladies! Good on yas!

The styles of the two Obama appointees are different. Sotomayor is blunt and caustic, repeatedly interrupting. In an opinion this week, she harshly criticized a Texas prosecutor for a racist line of questioning. She has been on the interview circuit publicizing her memoir.

Kagan is choosier about when to interject herself, but she’s sardonic and sharp-witted. (“Well, that’s a big, new power that you are giving us,” she said, mockingly, when a lawyer tried to argue that the justices should overrule Congress’s discrimination findings.)

Both are more forceful than the Clinton appointees, the amiable Breyer and the frail Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The two new justices are sending a message to the court’s conservative majority: You may have the votes, but you’re going to have a fight.

Wednesday’s voting rights case was typical. Surprisingly, the five conservative justices seemed willing to strike down a landmark civil rights law (the provision that gives extra scrutiny to states with past discrimination) that was renewed with near-unanimous votes in Congress. Conservative jurists usually claim deference to the elected branches, but in this case they look an awful lot like activist judges legislating from the bench.
Gee, I thought Repugs frowned on "judicial activism"? Oh, that's right, IOKIYAR.

Sotomayor allowed the lawyer for the Alabama county seeking to overturn the law to get just four sentences into his argument before interrupting him. “Assuming I accept your premise — and there’s some question about that — that some portions of the South have changed, your county pretty much hasn’t,” she charged. “Why would we vote in favor of a county whose record is the epitome of what caused the passage of this law to start with?”

Moments later, Kagan pointed out that “Alabama has no black statewide elected officials” and has one of the worst records of voting rights violations.

Scalia and Justice Samuel Alito tried to assist the Alabama county’s lawyer by offering some friendly hypotheticals, but Sotomayor wasn’t interested in hearing that. “The problem with those hypotheticals is obvious,” she said, because “it’s a real record as to what Alabama has done to earn its place on the list.”
This lawsuit by Shelby County, Alabama, is being privately financed by a big donor, and it's obvious that they want Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act overturned so they can proceed with James Crow Jr. Esq. voter disenfranchisement without the pesky "pre-clearance" requirement. I hope they do not get away with it.

The Crackpot Jackpot and Ghost Boner

A fun and not too off the mark look at Senator Ted "Tailgunner Joe's Ghost" Cruz at Political Garbage Chute. Shit, Cruz even looks like McCarthy.

5 Things Ted Cruz Wants To Accomplish In the Senate
...

The Smarmy Index in Washington has hit an all time high, thanks to the arrival of the Junior Senator from Texas by way of Canada. (Honestly Canada! What did we do to deserve this son of a bitch?) Cruz makes every Tea Party Lady quiver in her nether regions. It’s as if someone created a mold for “Peevish, Accusatory, Inflamatory, Self-Righteous Prick Senators,” poured a glop of hair gel and good ol’ fashioned Texas Bullshit into it, squeezed the damnable thing together, and out popped Ted.
Yeah, Canada, we'll take poutine, Ice Road Truckers, BC bud, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, Natalie MacMaster, and many other wonderful Canadian things with great pleasure, but, really, you should have kept this sonofabitch. Honest, Canada, we get it - you're laughin' yer frozen asses off, but still...

[...] But what else can this legislative lightweight hope to accomplish after having pissed off members of both parties in his Hill debut?

Maybe one of these things…
...

Sen. Joe McCarthy just got a ghost boner while he works the phone bank in Hell.
...

#4. Getting To The Bottom of [insert CRAZY RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY THEORY HERE]
I don’t think Republicans in Congress are interested in anything unless it involves vaginae or a conspiracy. If you could somehow concoct a conspiracy around President Obama using the vaginae of all the women in the land to smuggle guns into Mexico so that they may one day ban both guns and female genitalia, you would hit the Republcian crackpot jackpot. It’s not shocking or surprising at all that the GOP loves their conspiracies – whether they be Fast & Furious or FEMA death camps — they’re the party of alternate reality as it is anyway. After all, it takes a certain conspiratorial dismissal of truth to not only believe in but proselytize trickle down economics.

#3. Outlaw Dancing In His Town
I know he’s Canadian. But Senator Cruz came to Congress by way of Texas. And it’s probably safe to say that approximately 82% of all towns in Texas qualify as being “Footloose-ian” in nature. That is to say that most small towns in Texas could easily play host to a Kevin Bacon and/or Kenny Wormwald figure to stroll into town and wreak havoc on the elders, inciting rock and roll dance marathons! And women wearing dungarees!
...

#1. Be A Complete and Total Dickhead
Oh wait. He’s already accomplished that. So maybe it should say “Continue Being a Complete and Total Dickhead” instead. Oh well. The point is that Senator Ted Cruz is a complete and total dickhead.
Word and Amen. Go see the rest.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Backing Into Equality

I think I'm getting jaded over politics in my old age. Or something. Anyway, I'm not finding much to be outraged about today. Perhaps the Repugs have moved the bar of hate, fear, and delusion to a new normal and I'm just getting used to it after eight and a half years of doing this shit. Ho-hum.

Or maybe we really are finally starting to win and I just feel more relaxed about it all.

Anyway, here's some educational light entertainment. I really like the Carolina Chocolate Drops (website) and I watch L.A.-based Tavis Smiley pretty often. This was just put up a few days ago. Enjoy. Learn.

Published on Feb 19, 2013
The original trio of Dom, Rhiannon and Justin made an appearance in 2010 on the Tavis Smiley interview show (PBS). Their 2nd studio album "Genuine Negro Jig" was released that year to great critical acclaim and much media attention. The album won a 2010 Grammy in the Best Traditional Folk album category, and reached the top 10 on the Billboard Folk Album chart and the top spot of the Bluegrass album chart.

Thanks to lordchauncey.

Here's a tune.

Published on Jun 18, 2012
This Quick Hits video brings together all four members of the Carolina Chocolate Drops, including cellist Leyla McCalla, for a rendition of a bluegrass standard, "Don't Get Trouble in Your Mind." It's hard to imagine a quartet being more in sync than the Drops are during this virtuoso, rowdy romp.

Thanks to SoundTracksQH.

And for good measure, this outfit'll liven up yer next square dance! "Homebrew alcohol" is a staple at those.

Published on Jun 18, 2012
Featuring Dom Flemons on the bones and Rhiannon Giddens on the 5-string banjo, "Old Corn Likker" was performed backstage exclusively for Quick Hits. This is a square dance song with Flemons calling out to the dancers and telling the story of a man who fell off a wagon and lost his hat due to some overindulgence in some homebrew alcohol.


The reason for the title of the post is that instead of raising themselves professionally and socially by going for high-class bullshit, these folks have used their Master's Degrees to show that being hillbillies ain't just for whites no more, not that it ever really was. They're doing a damn fine job of it. Heh.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

"Why Are You Still Here?"

I'm still suffering from truck lag from driving home from the coast yesterday so I'll probably take the easy way out today with light entertainment for you.

Old Fart tears Limpbaugh a new one but he's still more polite than I would have been.

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Oh. the irony...

Ironic Times

Supreme Court to Revisit Campaign Finance Limits
Why, it will ponder, can't one person, like ExxonMobil, give as much money as it wants to a candidate.
Well, this stuff is supposed to be irony...

Americans Prepare for Last-Minute Sequestration Frenzy
Stock up on earplugs.
Boy, that one's no shit either.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

"Long Black Veil" is a dark tune originally recorded by Lefty Frizzell in 1959.

Published on Sep 22, 2012

Not sure where and when - looks like around 2000


Dave Matthews & Emmylou Harris : Long Black Veil (Live)
Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Headin' out...

We're going out to the coast for a few days so blogging will be light to neglible. See yas.

And thanks to Crooks and Liars for linking to this post the other day. I don't keep up with that kind of stuff as well as Fixer did.

We're winning.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Hey Yertle, feel sumthin' tuggin' atcher lip?

Wired. Links at site.

Senate Minority Leader Fooled by Report in Military Version of The Onion

Meet The Duffel Blog (Also on Facebook - G), if you haven’t already. A must-read for national-security nerds — and anyone who enjoys humor, really — it provides pitch-perfect military parody online, such as this piece about Syria hosting Iraq War reenactors (bylined by “G-Had”) or this one about a Google Street View Prius getting blown up in Kandahar. The Duffel Blog, as dutiful readers know, is America’s oldest online source for fake military news, founded in 1797 in a moment of farsightedness. It often gives more real talk than most legit journalistic institutions, but there is no way you can confuse it with the real news.

Unless you are a senior member of the United States Senate.

On November 14, 2012, Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) wrote to Elizabeth King, the Pentagon’s congressional liaison, with a an unusually credulous query. “I am writing on behalf of a constituent who has contacted me regarding Guantanamo Bay prisoners receiving Post 9/11 GI Bill benefits,” McConnell wrote in a letter acquired by Danger Room. “I would appreciate your review and response to my constituent’s concerns.”

Um, Guantanamo detainees getting GI Bill benefits? Yes, that’s from the Duffel Blog, as McConnell’s constituent clearly states, complete with the reference URL. Said constituent even notes that he or she can’t find any information about the alleged government payouts to suspected insurgents and terrorists.

The Defense Department does a lot of inexplicable things at Guantanamo Bay — there’s a resume-building workshop for detainees, for real — but paying detainees GI Bill benefits is not one of them. “The very idea that the U.S. government would extend GI Bill benefits to enemy detainees is a patent absurdity,” says Army Lt. Col. Todd Breasseale, the Pentagon’s spokesman on all matters Guantanamo.

The Duffel Blog piece about the fake GI Bill benefits is not subtle. “By allowing the detainees to use the Department of Veterans Affairs, we hope to completely crush their souls with bureaucracy,” it quotes a fake Pentagon spokesman saying. There’s also a false quote from Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki: “Because most ‘guests’ at Guantanamo Bay have been there nearly a decade and there is no end in site for their ‘visit,’ the Department of Veterans Affairs is ready to have their claims processed in 12-15 years as per standard operating procedure.”

At the risk of explaining the joke, the Duffel Blog’s real objective is to send up the inadequate, mollasses-slow benefits the government provides to the nation’s veterans. In other news, Garfield ate all the lasagna and now Jon is really mad.
I betcha Senator Judd won't be fooled that easy. Heh.



The pope stole my Maker’s Mark

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford making a few observations you don't want to moss.

And I am, clearly, far from alone. Witness tens of thousands of hardcore fans wailing like alcoholic banshees at the makers of Maker’s Mark, after the company announced it was going to add a tiny bit of water to the product – you never would have noticed, silly – because it turns out bourbon’s popularity is skyrocketing and they can’t keep up with demand, and by adding a little water (thus cutting 90 proof to 84, from 45 percent alcohol to 42) they would ensure enough supply going forward.

Mistake! Blasphemy! This is America, you fools. You do not mess with semi-automatic assault weapons, fetish porn, secretly gay Republicans or the recipe for a hugely popular but not exactly world-class mixing bourbon that might nevertheless just have the best price/quality/inebriation quotient of all Kentucky bourbons this side of Woodford Reserve.
...

Is this you? Are you one who likes to believe, with a jaded and weary sigh, that the world is still run by old, rich white males who loathe everything you stand for and will do everything in their power to destroy you, and there’s little anyone can do about it?

Behold, some balm. I am delighted to report that even supposedly impenetrable, high-powered Wall Street execs turn into whiny, defensive five-year-olds when a whip-smart liberal female – this time in the form of Sen. Elizabeth Warren – calls them out and pretty much tells them straight up what charlatans, fools and jackals everyone knows they really are.
...

Speaking of whom. Ex-pope Benedict! Feel better, sir. Sorry to hear you’re so tired and infirm. But oh, you really were an unmitigated disaster, miserable and regressive and sort of pathetic, setting the church back a good 100 years, which no one thought possible given how far back it was in the first place.

You were, in the eyes of anyone with even a slightly progressive soul, a bit of an abject failure in your handling of the sexual abuse scandal, or condoms in Africa, or any sort of even moderate reform, a weak and ineffectual leader who invited back all sorts of vile ultraconservatives into the church folds. You’ve also made sure that your successor won’t budge the crusty faith forward a single millimeter until Jesus himself comes down and slaps you all upside the head with a giant gay marriage certificate, a Magdalene priestess and a heaven-sized bottle of Maker’s Mark. Soon, honey. Soon.
More. Go. Enjoy.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Mud on the Highway

Apropos of absolutely nothing except some controversy about 40 miles east of me, I thought you might like to see a short video of the Comstock area around Virginia City/Gold Hill, Nevada.

YubaNet

VIRGINIA CITY, Nev. Feb. 18, 2013 - The Senior Planner for Storey County announced at a recent County Commissioners meeting that, despite a so called "Gentleman's Agreement" to limit the negative impacts of open pit, or 'strip', mining in the National Historic Landmark, Comstock Mining Inc. (CMI) intended to begin soon running heavy ore-hauling trucks through neighborhoods along Hwy 342 until midnight. Those trucks began hauling ore this past President's Day weekend, in darkness on the narrow two-lane highway, leading residents to believe that they could be subjected to this industrial travesty 7 days a week for the foreseeable future.

Godwin is ROTFLHFAO!

Godwin observed that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope—someone inevitably makes a comparison to Hitler or the Nazis.


The Nazis are calling the other Nazis Nazis. Heh. Politico.

A top tea party group is taking its clash with Karl Rove to a new level, sending out a fundraising email Tuesday featuring a photoshopped image of the GOP operative in an SS uniform.

“Wipe the Smirk Off Karl Rove’s Face,” reads the subject line of the email, from Jenny Beth Martin, co-founder and national coordinator of the Tea Party Patriots.

The email features a photo illustration in which Rove’s face is grafted onto a photo of a uniformed officer in the Reichsführer-SS, an elite class of soldier in the German Schutzstaffel during Adolph Hitler’s Third Reich. The lower left-hand corner of the photo features the inscriptions “Reichsführer-SS” and “K. Rove,” and appears to match a photo of SS Reichsführer Heinrich Himmler.
...

The tea party drew scathing criticism when a relatively small number of activists used racist rhetoric and Hitler comparisons in their criticism of President Barack Obama. Tea party leaders quickly denounced the rhetoric as unrepresentative of the small government movement, and pointed out that liberals protesting the Iraq war had compared former President George W. Bush to Nazis.
Yes, yes we did. Glad you Nazi fuckers are catching on.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

GOP Sen. Mitch McConnell: Legalize Hemp
And arrest anyone caught smoking it.
Just give them some aspirin.

Colorado Gov. Drinks Glass of Fracking Fluid to Prove Its Safety
Services are Thursday.
Heh.

Republican Schism: Karl Rove, Tea Party at Odds
One side believes in scorched earth ad hominem attacks to achieve victory at all costs, the other side feels that approach is too soft.
Someone please put the last man standing out of his misery. At the ballot box.

Toy Drone Sells Out on Amazon
Pentagon buys every last one.
Related:

Pentagon Creates New Medal for Drone Pilots
The Distinguished Couch Potato Cross.
I've had that one with Battle Stars and Oak Leaf Clusters for years!

Better-Late-Than-Never Headline of the Day

‘Lincoln’ inspires Mississippi to finally ratify amendment abolishing slavery
Actually, they ratified it in 1995 but never bothered to tell the federal government until now. 1995. Yeesh.

A Message To The College Of Cardinals From The Holy Spirit

Goblinbooks is on fire today! Do not miss this!

Folks, I'm not coming.

I don't know how you're going to pick the new guy. I don't care how you're going to pick the new guy. Puff the white smoke, don't puff the white smoke, it makes absolutely no difference. I refuse to be a part of this, this - I want to say train wreck, obviously, but at least train wrecks have the decency to stop at some point.

Flip a coin, play Monopoly, try competitive teabagging... however you select the new pontiff, I want everyone reading this to understand that I, the breath of the Almighty, the small still voice of Yahweh, the third distinct Holy Person in the mystical entity known to the faithful as the Triune God, will play absolutely no role in this purple freak show. I will be inspiring none of you. I will invest no one with the strength to become the heir of St. Peter and manage the affairs of the Bride of Christ on earth. Suck it, chumps. You're on your own.

This should surprise no one. Anybody following the Charlie-Sheen-porn-family you people have become will probably not even shrug at this announcement. It's difficult to find a Cardinal who doesn't resemble Keyser Söze in drag. Pick the spiritual leader of millions? Most of you guys are lucky you're not in prison.
...

I could go on, but why bother? You have proven repeatedly that you're willing to enforce your extremist laws on everyone but yourselves. For you there are always excuses, loopholes, and chances to sit out the scandal. Everyone knows this. Because of you, there are now two kinds of Catholics: People who take Rome seriously and people who are paying attention. I've got better things to do than put a stamp on whatever rightwing gargoyle you're going to pick.

In fact, if I'm going to use any of my influence it'll be to remind the good, decent Catholics of what they already know. That the only moral response to you is rebellion. If they take me seriously, and some of them still do, I'm telling them to oppose your terrible nonsense. They need to fight back, and maybe finally walk across the street and join a church that doesn't run afoul of the RICO Act.

Okay, enough. You people exhaust me. I've got a couple of next year's Grammy winners to crap out, and then it's back to bed.
Remembering that one "aw shit" wipes out 10,000 "attaboys", for all the good works done by lower level church people, it's still a top-down medieval institution, the trappings and wealth of which, not to mention the anachronistic policies and rituals, disgust me.

Then there's the pedophilia cover-ups. Jesus weeps.

"Happy Presidents' Day, Which I Totally Invented" By Richard Nixon

Goblinbooks

Hi there. I am speaking to you from the ninth level of the Kingdom of Shadows, where I am encased up to my buttocks in a lake of ice. And I wanted to wish all of you a very happy Presidents' Day, even though I completely made it up, and it's not real.
...

You're having that M. Night Shyamalan moment, aren't you? The whole world flipped inside out, and now you feel queasy and powerless. Plus I just reminded you of M. Night Shyamalan, so it hurts even more. This is what I do. And it's why this day is my real legacy. I have left an imprint on your conceptual world, and it allows me to screw with you from beyond the grave. So have we all.

Every one of us, every thug, liar, and scoundrel who managed to shimmy up that greasy pole changed how we govern the country in big and small ways... some of them quite unnoticeable. People want to honor the brave and the smart and the honest. But isn't so much of our history about guys like me?
...

Tricking you into observing a fake holiday is a perfect monument to what we do. And the way you, the American people, celebrate it is also fitting: You don't care. You just want to max out that credit card for some crap you don't need.

From the depths of hell, I salute you my subjects and citizens. We need each other, don't we? We're all in this together in the dark.

Tell Liddy I'll come for him soon. Bye.
Enjoy your holiday anyway. To us retired folks, and many lower wage employees, it's just a day with no mail.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Obama is a pot-smoking Black Panther hip hop artist

Note: Very realistic although a tad more intelligent than the real thing, but this is CLEARLY LABELLED SATIRE. Via Raw Story.