Chris Christie Is Your Fat Fucking Future (A Post With a Bunch of Fat Jokes Because He's So Fucking Fat)
He makes me look damn near fucking svelte.
You wanna know just how cruel a man can be if he hasn't seen his own penis in decades?
I hope he tries to lean over far enough. Note to anyone standing in front of him: step back and let him crash.
It's override time, of course, and some of these are no-brainers. But what Christie did, in no uncertain terms, and with every pun intended, was throw his weight around. He demonstrated that he's no pussy bipartisan compromiser. Oh, no. He proved that the big man is a big man, sticking it to the poor while sucking up to the rich.
And now Christie's on vacation. Two-weeks away with the family, and you know he went wherever his wife wanted. One thing about grotesquely fat, straight dudes: they are grateful as hell to whatever woman is willing to fuck them. Perhaps a cruise, where there's unlimited food at all hours of the day where Chris Christie, our 21st century icon of gluttony and greed, the massive moral black hole in the center of our obese body politick, can shovel food in his face. And maybe he'll choke on it.
Maybe he'll end up (carefully chosen words) on the same cruise as Fixer. I think Fixer's strong enough to do a 'rail job' on him. We will know the deed has been done when the sea level rises suddenly.