Thursday, March 1, 2012

Andrew Breitbart in Hell: A Fantasia

Do not miss this stirring account of Breitbart's journey so the devil can collect the soul he paid for.

At first, he thought he was on an drug trip, it happened so fast; his soul popped out of him like a cork on a shaken champagne bottle. He saw his corporeal form on the ground and thought it was a wacky out of body experience, perhaps some flashback from the time he licked LSD off Michelle Malkin's ass cheeks, perhaps some residual peyote dream from that Western walkabout he did with Sean Hannity, when they got naked and rubbed each other with red dirt until they howled out that they wanted to kill the Indians again. Those thoughts quickly pushed out of his head as he arced and began to descend from the air and into the filthy ground below. "Fuck, I had a post to finish where I called the President a rape-enabler" was his last thought as he went underground.

Adios, motherfucker. Enjoy your reward. You earned it.

Straight news update:

Andrew Breitbart's death to be reviewed by L.A. County coroner

Perhaps he passed an agent of good with an umbrella and they'll find a poison BB in his little nutsack. Damn good aim.


Fixer said...

A perfect eulogy!

Comrade Misfit said...

Remember: Only speak good of the dead.


montag said...

And a shout out to Satan for calling in his note.

CAFKIA said...

Sympathy and sorrow are all I can express right now.

I have nothing but sympathy for those whose lives were touched by Breitbart that the son of a bitch ever existed. It is with great sorrow that I announce that the inconsiderate bastard did not take as many of his bastard brethren with him as possible.

CAFKIA said...

In the hours immediately following Senator Ted Kennedy's death, Breitbart called Kennedy a "villain", a "duplicitous bastard", a "prick" and "a special pile of human excrement." (from Wikipedia)

We have been entirely too eason on this piece of shit. I am personally offended that some members of congress had complimentary things to say about one who verbally savaged one of their own quite literally, before the body had cooled to room temperature. My personal suggestion is that if you go to piss on this turd's grave, you wear rubber boots because it is likely to be seriously muddy.