Wednesday, May 9, 2012

2012 Veepstakes

Will Durst in fine form.

Since Gov. Romney has sewn up the nomination tighter than one of Chris Christie's old suits, the only remaining Republican election drama is which name the Bairn of Bain Capital intends to place on the bottom of his bumper sticker. Yes, friends, it's once again time to play that quadrennial game sensation sweeping the nation: Let's Guess Mitt's Vice Presidential Pick!

Texas Congressman Dr. Ron Paul: 1,000 to 1. Less chance than a snail hauling a piano has of qualifying for the 100-meter dash at the London Summer Olympics.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry: 10,000 to1. Same thing, only the snail is dead.

Former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman:: 200 to 1. Two Mormons? That's a Broadway musical, not a presidential ticket.

South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley: 80 to 1. Hybrid of Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal with associative perks and potholes.

Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum: 10 to 1. Good Christian mudder. Especially helpful should Mitt need Old Testament righteousness to counter squishy-conservative charges.

You get the idea. More.

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