He leaned in. "I masturbated while Karl was losing his mind over Ohio," he said and then smiled. "I saw him on fire there, burning, burning, writhing and yelping, rolling on the ground, until he collapsed into ashes, and I just jacked it. It felt so good." He paused and got wistful, staring into the amber liquor. "You don't wanna know what he would have done to me Tuesday if he still had me. I don't know if I could have survived it. The razors..."I've been angry with Turdblossom kinda constantly over the years. I've had visions of yanking his skull out through his asshole. Or pulling the lever that dropped him on a long fall on a short rope to his fiery reward.
"It's okay." He slugged back what was left and ordered another. We drank on, the Rude Pundit and the thin man, shooting whiskey and sharing glee over Rove's desperate attempts to justify his existence and his failures, over his absurd, pathetic spin that Obama "suppressed the vote" by saying mean things about Romney and his supporters, coming up with ways that Rove would have to pay back the hundreds of millions of donated dollars - the phrase "Sheldon Adelson's dick lamprey" was used by one of us, and laughing at how degraded Rove must have felt over being called out by Megyn Kelly on the air, repeatedly. "And Bill Hemmer!" the thin man said. "That guy's so dumb, you could put a dunce cap on him and he'd thank you for making his head bigger."
This is the first time I've gotten to laugh at him and it feels GOOD.
I'm not complacent. Unless his donors sue him until he's living under a bridge like the putrescent troll he is, he'll be back.