Hey, Chris Matthews, if this is the "Daddy Party," wouldn't we be better off as orphans?
10. Sam Brownback: "I'm from the theological wing of the theological party."
9. John McCain: "I'll get Osama even if I have to follow him to the gates of hell, or even worse, to the central market in Baghdad."
8. Mike Huckabee: "As the formerly fat man of faith, who's now the svelte man of faith, I'm guided by one question: 'What Would Jesus Weigh'?"
7. Jim Gilmore: "Nobody ever heard of me, so let me make clear I'm not a character on the Gilmore Girls."
6. Ron Paul: "Let's abolish all government regulation - so that the fatcats can plunder and ruin this country even more than they did under Bush."
5. Tom Tancredo: "Mr. Gorbachev, build up that wall."
4. Tommy Thompson: "I'm the ultimate Ronald Reagan: I only made an anti-gay remark because I had a hearing aid malfunction."
3. Mitt Romney: "I can single-handedly solve global warming by soaking up the sun's rays with my George Hamilton caliber tan."
2. Duncan Hunter: "Elect me and you'll really see a military industrial complex that'll have old Ike spinning in his grave."
1. Rudy Giuliani: "First, I'm gonna make googly eyes at the Iranian leaders, just like the Gipper. Then I'll do what I did in New York: attack the squeegeemen from Squeegeemenistan."
I think the Repug candidates should have a "White Collar Comedy Tour". There's nothin' really funny about 'em, but they'd be outta our hair for a while. Especially if they let me 'n Fixer work on their bus a little. Heh.
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