Tuesday, May 8, 2007

What kinda bird don't fly?

From a previous post:

Now that the FCC has ruled that every blog has to have the "Paris Percentage" -- some quotient alluding to Paris Hilton -- let's get that part over with, shall we?


LATimes

When Paris Hilton checks into her temporary quarters at the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood next month, she will surrender more than just the freedom to roam Los Angeles' boutiques and clubs.

That 'surrender freedom' is sorta the whole point of jail, I think. A description follows of the hardship and deprivation that spoiled brat will endure. In California you get one day off your sentence for each two days served if you behave, so she's gonna do 30 days. As us former jailbirds like to say, "30 days? Shit, I can do that standing on my head with my balls on fire!"

Here's an article about the judge who finally gave Miss Hilton the spanking her parents should have given her long ago:

"I don't care to be the DUI judge to the stars," Sauer told The Times on Monday. "I'm amazed about the amount of talk about this case. I'm amazed at the amount of publicity."

At 69, Hizzoner may not be aware that the proletariat loves its celebrity circuses, especially when a high-profile arrogant young idiot gets treated like anybody else who repeatedly violates their probation, which mostly says to obey the law and not use alcohol. Whee!

She must not be a large contributor to Republicans.

Another attorney who has appeared multiple times before Sauer speculated that the judge may have been annoyed by Hilton's repeated violation of her license suspension and her late arrival for her hearing.

"I think in this case she must have gotten under his skin ... basically she thumbed her nose at him," said Mark J. Werksman. "There's a limit to a judge's patience.

Having probably spent more time in court than anybody who reads this, I can attest to that.

The urban legends have already begun to crop up; celebrity gossip website TMZ.com, citing "sources inside," reported that Sauer received a standing ovation from his fellow congregants Sunday at St. Brendan Catholic Church.

He says it isn't true. I have my doubts. Heh.

I'm a little surprised that she's going to jail in L.A. I'm sure the Lynwood facility isn't as dangerous as the Twin Towers (a real LULU), but it's still an urban lockup. When Sean Penn had to do a little stretch several years ago, he got to do his time in a quiet little country county jail in Mono County, whose major attractions are trout fishing and a ghost town. It probably saved his life.

I hope Miss Hilton gets to meet some reg'lar folks in the hoosegow, and wises up a little. Hey, it could happen!

Having now complied with FCC regulations, I will return to matters of greater significance, which is almost anything else.

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