The Second Coming ...

No, not a porn flick, and no, not Jesus arising either, but close:

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I've been looking for another presidential savior all day. I had a good line on a big, mean, mangy dog, but his owner wouldn't agree to let him run. She worried Rep. Bachmann might bite him, or even worse, use her crazy eyeball emissions to shatter his psyche like she did with Rick Santorum.

Then, I remembered a Facebook campaign I launched during the last presidential cycle. I called it "Dig Up Dutch '08." My plan was to dig up our greatest leader, Ronald Wilson Reagan, and run his corpse for president.

The plan to dig up Dutch was very popular. People flocked to it. We quickly raised enough money for a shovel, but no one had a gunnysack. For lack of burlap, the OBAMUNIST USURPER is our president.

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The current crop of pretenders contenders are all trying to wear his clothes; why not dig up the real deal himself? Even if he wins, he'd be better than any of those who came after him or want to. At this point, I'd consider a Reagan presidency a victory for the Left.