Saturday, September 10, 2011

First Repuglican Discovered!

The background:


This week in Republican science... same as every other week in Republican science, really. Since experts can't be trusted, science journals are propaganda, and evidence is not, you know, evidence. That's why we'd like to bring you segment 1323 of our ongoing series "chipped stone tools, why they will never replace traditional pointy sticks."

The announcement this week of the remarkable hominid fossils found in South Africa, brought us a refined picture of our family tree.

John Timmer at ars Technica admits worries about the GOP hatred for knowledge.

Personally, I wouldn't vote for a candidate who rejects science and expertise, and as a voter, I'd like to have a viable choice between two qualified candidates. At the moment, it's looking like I won't.

What would the world be like if we had two parties living in reality, offering policies based on reason? Maybe another few million years of evolution will get us there.

Don't bet on it. The money shot:

Based on the most complete hand specimen ever found, Au. sediba had an extra-long thumb and powerful fingers, which it could have used to make tools despite still having a small ape-like brain.

The first Repuglican? I rest my case.

The question remains: did Jesus bury this specimen and the dinosaurs and dig the Grand Canyon all by himself 6000 years ago or did he have help?


Fixer said...

... did he have help?

Yeah, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (with a few of their cousins) stopped by with a truckload of shovels. By the 6th Day, they needed the rest. Heh ...

montag said...

It couldn't be a Republican. Small though it was, Au. sediba did have a brain. The scientists need to go back much earlier to find the first Republican.

casey said...

Hello Gordon,

The Rethuglican theme song came from the movie "The wizard of Oz". It was and remains to this day and forever into the future "If I only had a brain".

Gordon said...

I posit that Repugs have just enough brain to keep their ears from getting sucked together by the tremendous vacuum. I hear that it works just well enough in some of them to keep them from shitting themselves out of fear of The Other.

Maheanuu Tane said...

First Repuglican Discovered!

I ain't buying it!!! It wasn't found with a dick in it's yap, or this hand in lil Johnnies pants.... It wasn't scratching on the dividing wall of a mens public toilet either so until I have some proof, I will continue to believe that it just might be human.