What this country needs right now is tough love to get through these rough times. Common-sense solutions. I'm not talking about the futile recommendations Super Congress is busy formulating. Those won't be remedies. Those will be more mere, election-year platitudes. As inevitable as gratuitous gore in a Danny Trejo movie. Like cookies in day care. Erasers on golf pencils.
When this sort of thing happens to families, they find ways to tighten their belts. Come up with plans to cut back on expenses and bring in extra money. Exactly what we should be doing now. So allow me to offer up a few modest proposals to help get this country back on its feet.
-Do we really need nine Supreme Court Justices? Couldn't we slide by with seven? Considering recent decisions, I'd hazard to say a junior grade Justice Department law clerk could flip a coin and handle the job as well.
-There's no reason why the feds should continue to fund expensive Congressional elections in the Bible Belt. What we do is give the candidates an IQ test and the one with the lowest science score wins. A cheap alternative for the same result.
No shit to both of those!
-Pretty apparent we can't afford to indulge in high-priced fossil fuels anymore. Time to shift into bio-fuels. Ethanol, sure, but a better bet would be methane, especially with the incredibly abundant supply being regularly emitted out of our representatives in D.C.
Yeah, I'm surprised yer allowed to smoke within 100ft of 'em.