Saturday, March 29, 2014

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Published on Mar 26, 2014
[Stereo feed] Ms. Harris performs this song on late night USTV, and tells an interesting story of tracking down a steel guitar while on tour in Ireland, during the interview.
Funny interview!

Thanks to What's for afters?

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Man Gets Gerrymandered In Half

The Anti-News

"I love serving the people of my district", lied Mr. Gasbag, as he washed back his dolphin steak with a gulp of Jack & Pepsi. Texas District # 5 (Chauncy Gasbag's) stretches for almost two thousand miles as it weaves its way across the state, capturing within its boundaries only the sleaziest of shitbirds, fanatics, bigots and assholes. Starting in Dallas (at Cleb's Shoot & Drink Firing Range) District #5 extends west into Fort Worth, encompassing three fundamentalist mega churches, a whites only country club, and a bullet factory. The district then splits into three 'tentacles', each about a mile wide. One extends west towards Lubbock, where it includes an endangered species hunting ranch, and a cluster of ethnically cleansed counties. The second tentacle reaches east about two hundred miles (avoiding all the black people) to a training compound for angry white militias. The third tentacle sprawls south, where it includes all of Waco and Texas A & M fraternity row.

"We need to include every nutbag in the state", said gerrymandering expert Stanley Noneck, "so we've had to draw some pretty careful boundaries." In fact, District #5 spider webs its way down through Austin (where it's only one inch wide) and then fans out towards Houston, cherry-picking for fringe dwelling kooks for another six hundred miles. It sidesteps the house of State Senator Wendy Davis, skirts around the residence of progressive Ryan Linehan, zigs up supermarket aisles, zags down alleys, and dives beneath a Planned Parenthood clinic, before resurfacing near Odessa, TX and splitting the Parker family home clean in half.

The district boundary divides the king-size bed of Thelma and Braxton Parker. [...]

Heh. You KNOW you want to read the rest!

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Leak at New Mexico Nuclear Waste Dump Causes Closure, Incoming Waste Being Stored in Parking Lot
Spokesman: “Not to worry, we've got nuclear waste stored in parking lots all over the country.”

In Beijing, Michelle Obama Calls Free Speech, Open Access toInformation “Universal Rights That Are the Birthright of Every Person on This Planet”
As reported by Tibetan News Service.

Your iPhone Can Now Wake You Up to the Smell of Bacon
Available soon in coffee, roses, parmesan cheese.

Robot Solves Rubik's Cube in 3.25 Seconds, Faster Than Any Human
Fastest human, after witnessing feat, smashes robot into million pieces in just 1.03 seconds.