Breaking:

John Kyl is a dick.

Quote of the Day - Zwei

Jill:

(Which reminds me: Thank you, Howard Dean, for being the trailblazer that paved the way for the 50-state strategy to come to such perfect bloom so quickly. We owe you a debt of gratitude that I don't think we can ever repay. Scream this, bitchez.)

Indeed. YEEEAAARRRGH!!!

Boys will be boys...

A little Saturday Silliness for all us little boys who may be growing old but will never grow up!

What do you get when you fill a spud gun with a special fuel (NOT gasoline or diesel) and shoot it across a campfire?

Uhhhh...lemme guess...thrown out of the campground?

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

The other lady besides Rachel Maddow who should have a restraining order against me doing an old Hank Williams tune. Her accompanist is the late David Schnaufer, dulcimer virtuoso extraordinaire. It doesn't get much simpler than this.

Emmylou Harris with David Schnaufer - May You Never Be Alone

Thank you neddysea.

The cruel success of Prop. 8

Mark Morford on the passage of CA's Prop (H)8.

Who stabbed marriage equality to death, again? The Mormon Church. Catholic groups. Evangelicals. Militant fundamentalists. Reclusive, sickly, notoriously right-wing billionaires like Howard Ahmanson, a guy who also funded a radical Christian theologian madman who himself endorses stoning gay people to death. The mother of Eric Prince, CEO of the notorious Blackwater thugs-for-hire company.

And yes, it must be said: Sad indeed to imagine many of those black pastors up there, cheering Obama's win and deeming this a new dawn for blacks after so many years of struggle for basic civil rights, while in the next breath talking up the wrath of God that will strike parishioners should they allow homosexuals to register for stemware at Crate & Barrel. Talk about disingenuous.

(Interestingly, I believe this is the same God who, until recently, didn't allow whites to marry blacks. Or women to vote. Or slaves to be free. Or people to get divorced. Or women to become priests. Or humans to wear condoms. Hmm.)

Then again, when you put it that way, the ugly fight for Prop. 8 makes perfect sense. After all, hetero marriage is all organized religion really has left, their last vestige of power and control. Everything else they fought so hard to inject into the national agenda -- intelligent design, God's war against Muslims, the end of reproductive choice, more prayer in schools, abstinence education, et al -- not only failed, but failed spectacularly. No wonder they're clinging to this rigid, outdated idea of marriage so violently.

I do not blame God. I blame a very gloomy, revisionist version of the divine, a sour and demeaning mindset that believes in restriction, constriction, dread.

The good news is, I think Prop. 8's desperate, last-gasp victory merely reveals that this hollow, homophobic version of God is waning, sliding, fighting for its last taste of relevance, soon to be replaced by something just a bit more dynamic and open-hearted and, well, truly divine.

The bad news is, it's just going to take a bit longer than we'd hoped.

Much more. Please go read.

Quote of the Day

Don Davis on Rahm Emanuel:

...one day, they’re gonna’ name a Temple after this guy.

Oy.

How to get fired ...

Real quick. While I was sitting in your office yesterday, tell me you're a conservative Jew who believes all Muslims are terrorists and there's an international conspiracy to kill us all. Tell me that Fox News is the only newscast to watch because they tell the truth. Tell me you'll gladly give up your rights so the government 'can keep you safe'. Tell me about 'Israel uber alles', even to the detriment of the U.S.

He was a decent lawyer while he lasted but with judgment like that, he ain't representing me anymore.

"...the sigh of the weary..."

On the theory that seein' the north end of a southbound Bush is going to be a religious experience, here's soul and gospel singer Mavis Staples doing a Stephen Foster number to kick off the first weekend that the end of Repug rule has even seemed possible. It's been a long time comin'.

Mavis Staples - Hard Times Come Again No More

Get a grip!

First of all, I would never, ever, put a pistol to a dog's head unless it was a rabid biter, and I abhor the symbolism in the picture although I tend to agree with the sentiment.

The reason I put that up there is because of the way that autoloader is being held. Just like a weak-kneed Dem would do it. His index finger is misplaced on the trigger and the other fingers are loose on the grip as if he does not expect the imminent small explosion inherent in launching a 240-grain projectile with gunpowder.

If he pulls the trigger, he's gonna lose some skin and get a broken wrist. Probly miss the dog and break the nearest window when the pistol flies out of his hand too. Shit, might as well get someone to pull the disconnector out so the slide flies off backwards with great force and sticks in his forehead. At least then it would render itself safe by not being able to reload.

That's if the damn thing even goes off. He may not be applying enough thumb pressure to deactivate the grip safety. I'm a wheelgun man myself, so I'm not expert enough to tell whether the hand cannon is a 1911A1 like it looks like to me, which needs to have the hammer manually eared back from half-cock (unless the slide has been freshly racked) for the first shot which it ain't.

Oh, never mind. The damn thing ain't got a magazine in it anyway. Yeesh. You can't even pound nails with it. Useless.

Note to Pablo: When you touchy-feelie types feel the need to use symbolism that's entirely foreign to you, call one'a us progressive rednecks for some help! I mean, my God, you might fool 'em in Frisco but the fuckin' wingnuts'll see that and think Libruls don't know a damn thing about firearms and thus cannot be trusted with national security!

The wingnuts would have done this one better. They have a lot more practice at gettin' folks to fall for their bullshit.

Update:

For comparison, here's how the Army says ta hold a heater. Marines have little pictures right on their pistols as a guide. Not so much to try to remember.



Note: The above pistol is an Italian Beretta, probably U.S.-made under license. Unlike choosing their leaders, when it comes to guns and motorcycles the paisans know their shit.

White House Hack Job

No, I didn't leave out the 'W' in 'Hack', although either spelling applies to the current denizens of 1600.

Raw Story

The White House's computer network was penetrated on several occasions earlier this year by Chinese hackers who downloaded e-mails between government officials, a new report reveals.

Cool! Now we can look for the e-mails that we need to convict Bush, Cheney, Rove, et al at WalMart!

Comedy World Devastated by Obama Victory

MediaBloodhound

Widespread reports of comics leaping from windows on Election Night have received little attention in the press. Some historians liken the turn of events to the stock market crash of 1929. But Freddy Roman, Dean of the legendary New York Friar's Club, called it "worse, much worse, mayo on corn beef bad."

Huh? I like mayo on corned beef. Come to think of it, I like mayo on corn flakes. I must be even whiter than I thought...

The Daily Show host Jon Stewart put a good face on it during Comedy Central's election night coverage. Yet sources at the show say Stewart retreated to his office afterward and "went, like, totally ballistic."

"We had Grandpa Cranky McCrazyPants and Sarah f**king Palin! Now we're stuck with Obama! There's nothing funny about him! It's like cracking jokes about Lincoln following his Gettysburg Address! F**k me twice with a motherf**king hope stick, people!" Stewart cried amid the sound of breaking glass, a shrieking cat and overturned furniture. "And Michelle?! She's the most likable First Lady since Eleanor Roosevelt! We had Cindy McCain, Cruella De Vil incarnate, but nooooo! Goddamn America's good fortune!"

"I knew I'd miss Bush, but I thought I could rely on McCain-Palin and the millions of bile-filled, pitch-fork-waving, infuriatingly ignorant and virulently racist bat-shit crazy Americans to maintain comedic stability in the White House." Colbert removed his glasses and wiped fresh tears from his eyes, then added, "I was wrong. I never realized how much hope, goodwill and reality-based thinking can damage comedy." Steeling himself for the dark days ahead, Colbert said, "We grieve today for Mr. Obama's historic victory, for the tremendous barriers he's broken, and we pray he is much more of a f**k-up than the steady-handed statesman he appears to be. I mean, really, we'll take anything -- like he irons his jeans or doesn't floss nightly. Anything. It's our only hope."

Even Chris Rock, an iconic and wildly successful African-American comedian, felt conflicted over Obama's victory.

"Two hundred and thirty-two years to get a black man in the White House, and the one they choose disenfranchises an entire nation of comedians! Can't a brother catch a break?!"

Suck it, bitchez. Comedy about Bush was OK but there really wasn't - isn't - anything funny about the things he's done. I'm perfectly willing to see a few of you out of work to get rid of his whackjob ass. You'll crack 'em up in the soup line.

"...someone to blow a few knee caps off"

A Chicago take on Rahm Emanuel from the Editor of BuzzFlash:

Many progressives see Emanuel's appointment as an ominous sign that Obama is going to be the third Clinton Administration (since other Clinton insiders are rumored to be favored for positions in the administration).

But we are a bit more optimistic about it.

We don't think that Obama chose Emanuel for his DLC ideology. A chief of staff is the person who gets the job done on behalf of the president (and Biden is not going to be pulling the strings like a Cheney; power will be restored to the presidency in an Obama Administration), not the formulator of policy.

Given that context, Emanuel may very well prove an effective choice in dealing with a Congress that is too often tied up in knots by the Republicans. Remember that Emanuel will be carrying out Obama's policies, and Rahm won't be bringing a steak knife to the fights ahead; he'll be shooting a bazooka.

That may be unpalatable to a lot of progressives, but the last person you want dealing with the remainders of the rabid right wing is a Quaker (although, yes, we are great admirers of the Quaker outlook). You need some muscle to shake up Capitol Hill, someone to blow a few knee caps off.

Rahm Emanuel can do that, with glee and a glint in his eye.

Yes, you can look at Emanuel's appointment as a setback for progressive ideals, or you can look at it as an indication that Obama is prepared to do battle.

Personally, I'm hoping it's the latter.

I'm all for making ashtrays out of Repug kneecaps too, but he's got to keep the Dems in line as well. Obama can come up with ideas and policies and put the public face on them, but he needs someone who can silently get in close and do the knife work on Congress that produces results.

Obama needs an ass kicker and Emanuel might be just the guy. I'm down wid it.

Silvio ...

When I get to work, I gotta ask Nunzio what Italians see in this idiot:

Actually, idiot may not be the right word for it. For what the Italian prime minister said today reflected not just foot-in-mouth disease, to which he often succumbs, but mind-boggling ignorance ...

That's right. Berlusconi called Obama suntanned.

...

And we were worried about Joe Biden?

Quote of the Day

Gavin, in toto:

Lieberman calls for an end to partisanship.

Also breaking: Partisans call for an end to Lieberman.

Somehow I'm running late. See yas later. TGIF!

Don't like him much ...

But, as Creature says, Rahm might be the best choice for chief of staff:

... because it signals Obama my be looking to lead from the left and two, because his choice is making GOP heads explode across the nation ...

That's the icing on the cake. Heh ...

Congratulations, Homophobes, You've Prevailed

Andy Ostroy. Go take a look at the next generation of homo-haters.

Religious fanatics rejoice! You did it! You won! You've succeeded in getting amendments passed in Florida, Arizona and California banning same-sex marriage! This is your crowning moment! Rejoice, for you have now rid your states of the evils of homosexuality! There'll be no more gays around to threaten your heterosexuality and your marriages. Not at the office, on the street, in restaurants, on public transportation...anywhere! They're gone! You don't have to see them, talk to them, hear them, read about them, watch them hold hands or kiss in public, work out at the gym next to them or dance next to them at clubs. From this point on, Florida, Arizona and California will be homo-free states, right?

Er...wait a second. I think I may have gotten that all wrong. Sorry. They'll still be around. Everywhere. Living next door, working in the next cubicle, eating at the next table, shvitzing in the steam room with you. They'll still be in relationships, still be adopting children together, and they'll still be gay. Oh yeah, there's still gonna be boatloads of gay sex, my friends. In fact, while you definitely made it impossible for them to get married, they'll still have commitment ceremonies and engage in civil unions. But wait. What's really changed then? Nothing. That's right. Nothing's changed, and nothing's gonna change. All your efforts are just a big fat homophobic waste of time and money. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

That you all feel so threatened by homosexuality, and by how much it supposedly threatens your straight marriages, makes me believe there's some skeletons in that closet of yours that you're running from. And we all know which "closet" I'm referring to.....

Yes, CA's Prop 8 passed. It's supposed to revise, as opposed to amend, our State Constitution to eliminate already existing rights. A despicable proposition from the christofascist whackjobs, whose lies and fearmongering were largely funded by a certain band of cultists based in Utah.

It ain't over by a long shot. Boilerplate/nod off on yer keyboard alert. LATimes

Reporting from San Francisco and Los Angeles -- After losing at the polls, gay rights supporters filed three lawsuits Wednesday asking the California Supreme Court to overturn Proposition 8, an effort the measure's supporters called an attempt to subvert the will of voters.

The state high court has twice before struck down ballot measures as illegal constitutional revisions, but those initiatives involved "a broader scope of changes," said former California Supreme Court Justice Joseph Grodin, who publicly opposed Proposition 8 and was part of an earlier legal challenge to it. The court has suggested that a revision may be distinguished from an amendment by the breadth and the nature of the change, Grodin said

In addition to going to court, gay rights advocates sought to assure about 18,000 same-sex couples that their marriages will remain valid.

The groups cited comments by Atty. Gen. Jerry Brown, who has said the initiative was not retroactive. If the marriages are challenged in court, that case too would go to the California Supreme Court. Experts differ on whether the law would protect the marriages.

The California Supreme Court voted 4 to 3 on May 15 that a state ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. The ruling also elevated sexual orientation to the constitutional status of race and gender, an elevation that provides strong legal protection from discrimination.

This will no doubt take quite some time to decide.

I am extremely proud of all my fellow Americans who elected Obama, but extremely ashamed of my fellow Californians who voted for a crap bill like this one.

I ain't ashamed of these guys 'n gals, though. Photos.

In the wake of the passage of the state proposition banning gay marriage, Wednesday night saw thousands protest in West Hollywood and Hollywood, forcing police to shut down some streets and the LAPD to call a citywide tactical alert that required officers from one watch to stay on duty during the next watch.

I hope they make 'em stay on duty for a week. They'll have to snort up all the meth in the evidence locker to stay awake that long, thus causing charges to be dismissed against lotsa dealers. Political priorities, you know - demonstrators trump criminals every time. Heh.

Landslide: A Thundering Rejection of America's Longest War

Some of you might be interested in this. Try not to forget...

On Tuesday, largely under the radar of the pundits and political chattering classes, voters dealt what may be a fatal blow to America's longest-running and least-discussed war -- the war on marijuana.

Besides being the right thing to do, legalizing reefer is good for business. The DEA dickheads who come to town to bust your Granny for getting a little weed for her glaucoma bring a lot of our money to spread the wealth in local restaurants and motels. Some places, if the local yahoos are on the ball, they need to buy lotsa tires and batteries too.

Anti-Obama Bullshit Is Crankin' Up

I'm a little surprised it took this long after the election, but the Repugs are crankin' up the Smear Obama shit:

Raw Story

Barack Obama has not even been sworn in yet as the 44th president of the United States but groups are springing up online calling for his impeachment.

"There are a lot of Americans out there that do not fully understand the concept of Socialism or Communism which is why they've elected Obama as president," it says.

It decries that Obama "has voiced support for various unconstitutional programs such as the assault weapons ban, universal healthcare, and various schemes for wealth distribution."

"What are we going to do about it? IMPEACH HIM!" it says.

Obama still has some way to go, however, to equal the number of "Impeach George Bush" groups on Facebook, which lists at least 95 such groups with varying membership.

No wonder. Bush has a hell of an un-catchable head start on 'high crimes and misdemeanors'. Facebook, huh? Fuck 'book', hit Repugs in the 'Face'.

HuffPo

Though some conservatives are making conciliatory noises about Barack Obama now that the election is over, Jill Stanek is not among them. The former Illinois nurse, whose claims about a supposed rash of abortions of "born alive" babies at a Chicago hospital snowballed into the election-season charge that Obama supported "infanticide," wrote Thursday:

"Barack Obama was elected president despite the fact he supports abortion into the fourth trimester. [Ed. Note: Stanek uses "fourth trimester" deliberately to indicate abortions of children who are nevertheless "born alive."] Either the 63 million people voting for him didn't know about his radical record, which includes abandoning abortion survivors to die, didn't care, or didn't believe it."

Understandable. The only ones who heard about and believed it are the little voices in her head.

Because several "anti-life" ballot initiatives also passed on Tuesday, Stanek said to her World Net Daily audience that "we are fooling ourselves if we think the United States is still a Christian nation," adding: "Its people just elected a barbarian as president."

Nah, that was eight years ago.

What. A. Bunch. Of. Fucking. Morons.

CA-04 Update

We got us a cliffhanger here in my congressional district.

PolitickerCA

As provisional and vote-by-mail ballots are counted, state Sen. Tom McClintock's (R-Thousand Oaks) lead in the 4th Congressional District widened slightly Thursday morning, up to about 640 votes ahead of Democrat Charlie Brown.

Still unclear was how many ballots remain to be counted; Brown said in a statement Wednesday that he believed as many at 40,000 ballots were still to be processed. Neither campaign has formally conceded or claimed victory as of yet.

Charlie's ahead by 15% in my county, but our district is effin' huge and pretty red. Go see Nevada and Butte Counties, two lovely little blue islands in a red ocean. Run your mouse over it for more details. At least -04 has two good brain cells.

From National Atlas.gov. Your district will be there too.



If Charlie Brown loses, it will be because the retards in my district would rather have a bad clown of a Repug than a good man.

McClintock is about to term-limit out in his current district near L.A. and carpetbagged his way up here so as not to get thrown off the gravy train.

In further election news of absolutely no importance anywhere but here, Jennifer Montgomery won a seat on the Placer County Board of Supervisors. She was Charlie's one-girl whirlwind up hyar in the high country in '06. That's in the next county over so I didn't get to vote for her. If I lived three blocks away, I would have. Congrats, Jen.

Here's the way they do it up on the top of the mountain where she lives:

In front of a cluster of supporters wedged between a pool table and a glowing TV, Jennifer Montgomery wiped tears from her eyes and thanked supporters at Donner Summit Lodge Tuesday night.

DSL, pronounced 'diesel', is the only saloon in Soda Springs. Skiers stay in the lodge, and the bar is a hangout for tow truck drivers during snowstorms because it ain't very far from I-80 and the easy pickin's of yankin' city slickers' cars out of snowbanks, which, being true professionals, they can do just as easy drunk as sober. Heh.

Finally, a plug for my across-the-street neighbor Joe Aguera, retired mortician, one of the leading citizens of our town, and a dynamite dude, who easily won re-election to the Truckee Donner Public Utility District board. Congrats, Joe.

Just as an aside, Joe's lovely bride of 45 years drives a '57 T-Bird. Go Granny, go Granny, go Granny, GO!

Mandate ...

In '04, we broke the Chimp's balls for months about declaring he had a 'mandate' and some serious 'political capital' after his second narrow victory*. Today the great Oliver Willis explains what a mandate to lead really is.

Conservatives, quit trying to say that Barack Obama didn’t kick your asses from coast to coast. McCain lost by 6%, twice Bush’s winning margin in 2004. Also, the margin of victory is near 7 million votes. And you lost by 176 electoral votes (and likely 15 more when North Carolina is officially called).

You lost in the northeast.
You lost in the southwest.
You lost in the midwest.
You lost in the northwest.
You lost in the southwest.

...

Time for the wingnuts to STFU. I've laughed in a lot of faces over the past 24 hours (I work in the reddest county in NY, Nassau, the people of which just re-elected Peter King for the thousandth time) and I look forward to it again today ... and tomorrow ... and again on Monday ... It's so nice to see old white men get apoplectic. Yes, I know I'm being a scumbag, but it feels so good.

*Yes, I know 2000 was a gift as opposed to a victory.

Accountability ...

Meteor Blades via Turkana:

...

That speech was meant to heal, to let the nation forgive and forget, but it did nothing of the sort because no strong mechanisms were put into place to ensure that domestic and international crimes would never again issue from the Oval Office and its delegates. In a few years, another administration came to power, new crimes were committed and exposed. No machinery was remade to curb future crimes. Eight years ago, yet another administration arrived, and soon, assisted by the most terrible assault on American soil in 60 years, in the name of patriotism and security, it empowered the executive branch in exactly the ways the Founders 200 years before had tried to obstruct.

These leaders have tortured the spirit and letter of the law to justify their torture of people, spread their bloody war doctrine in the name of vengeance, trashing the economy and generating fear and hatred more effectively than al Qaeda could ever dream of. They rode roughshod over the Constitution, concocted lies to underpin invasion, filled the federal justice system with partisan cronies and transformed the military-industrial-congressional complex into a more corrupt private-public partnership than ever before.

...

Much as I'm thrilled to shit that Barry won, this is something I'm gonna crawl up his ass about. It is not good enough just to get the Chimp and Cheney (and their henchmen) out, I want them to pay for what they've done to this country. I want them to be made example of, to send a message to anyone else who would attempt to subvert the dictates of the Founders. I will never be satisfied unless they all end up in jail.

The crimes committed over the past 8 years were done in our name and we will never regain our credibility until we tell the world, unequivocally, that we disapprove, abhor, and condemn it.

That said, it'll be nice to travel again and not have to apologize for the asshole we elected ... twice.

Lest we forget ...

As Distributorcap says. "... those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it." He recaps the last 8 years in easy-to-read fashion:

...

February 2003 - Colin Powell goes before the United Nations and tells the world body that Iraq has Weapons of Mass Destruction.

March 2003 - America, under the leadership of a man who was perhaps AWOL during his military service - George Bush - invades Iraq. Bush tells people to carry on as usual.

May 2003 - "Mission Accomplished" - Bush declares victory while standing on an aircraft carrier. The press cheers.

July 2003 - "Bring 'em on"

February 2004 - Bush says he wants to have a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

March 2004 - Bush proves he is a comedian. At a dinner for the press corps, Bush jokes about not finding an WMDs in Iraq. "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be here somewhere" By now over 500 soldiers have been killed in Iraq fighting for his lies.

April 2004 - The abuses by the US Military at Abu Graihb prison in Iraq are revealed.

August 2004 - For third consecutive year, more Americans in poverty and without health insurance; national poverty rate hits 12.5 percent, 45 million people lack health coverage.

...

And that's just 18 months.

A big "fuck you" ...

I think the only people I've quoted twice in one day (besides Gordon) are Avedon and The Rude Pundit. The Rude One gets the nod again:

...

Because yesterday, the United States of America, east, west, north, and south, motherfuckers, shook its collective ass at and farted in the face of the Bush administration, of John McCain, and of the entire right wing that, since Ronald Reagan, has yanked this nation further and further rightward like it's a leashed dog. We bit the hand that fed us, man, and the blood tastes so very good.

So let's all say a huge "Fuck you" to some of those who have been shitting in our nests for the last eight years:

A great big "fuck you" to the warmongers, the fearmongers, the hatemongers, and the neocons. Last night, we said to them, "You can't scare us anymore." And we shoved their Iraq and their 9/11 whoring and their Iran threat and their WMDs and their pre-emptive doctrines and their Gitmo and their torture right up Dick Cheney's ass and laughed while he tried to get it out 'cause it burns his sphincter so fucking badly.

...

75 days from now, I'll be happier than I am today. That's hard to top.

Joe the Feather Duster and Other Stories

This is my last post on an extraordinary day and thus at the top and I'm glad because it's the most fun one and I couldn't resist. Mild liquid alert.

Go Read Dana Milbank on McCain's train-wreck last few days of desperation campaigning. Here's the last few paragraphs:

Roswell, N.M., 5:56 p.m.

The door to McCain's aircraft swings open and the crowd cheers -- but there are no stairs for the candidate; he cools his heels while they bring the stairs over from the rear door. The Roswell airport is a questionable spot for a rally: It's a graveyard for old airplanes, and the hulking carcasses of dead aircraft serve as a backdrop for McCain's appearance. A mirrored ball spins above the crowd, giving the hangar a disco feel.

Naturally, the microphones fail as soon as McCain begins to talk -- "courtesy of the Democratic National Committee," he quips for the third time.

There are barely more live people at the rally -- 750 -- than dead airplanes on the tarmac. But McCain will take support wherever he can get it. "I'm pleased to announce that I have received the alien endorsement," he says, "and I'm proud."

Maybe Pepe el Extraterrestre delivered the endorsement in person.

No doubt. I've been to Roswell. Heh.

The real reason Obama won

The Repugs couldn't figure out how to steal 6% of the votes. Rest assured they're working on it.

God only knows how many they did steal, but it doesn't matter.

What's that feeling?

A brace o' these stickers is wending its mule-borne way to me as we speak. A mite pricey, but I'm in a mood to shoot the works today and it helps my favorite news site. You can get them here.

Yes We Did! Now the work begins.

Mark Morford

This is no time for gloating.

I love ya Mark, but just this once, screw you, I'm gonna gloat my ass off today! There hasn't been much to feel good about for a long time, and the reality of what lies ahead will come soon enough, dammit.

This is no time to get carried away by some sort of rapturous rose-colored ROTFLMAO celebration full of streamers and confetti and blissful weeping in the streets, all wrapped in a big creamy ribbon of stunned disbelief, the overwhelming sense that, oh sweet God in heaven, our wary and battered nation has finally agreed, after all these years and seemingly all at once, to grow the hell up.

Is that not the feeling? That we as a country just did the impossible, just chose to get a little bit serious with ourselves, to actually attempt to right our myriad ills and rid the national body of our Republican toxins and oh yes by the way make a huge, shocking jolt of unprecedented history while we're at it? You're damn right it is.

So then, a warning, a caution, a hard-bitten piece of buzz-killin' advice, right here right now, before it's too late and you get all ecstatic and naked and drunk on the sheer WOW-ness of it all:

Put down the kazoo. Hold off on the champagne. Do not get too cozy. Do not let President-elect Obama's stunning victory go to your progressive thoughtful oh-my-God-I-Can't-believe-it's-true liberal head. This is not a time for cocktails and screaming and dancing in the streets (that comes about six paragraphs down. Shhh).

After all, there is much work to be done. There is a staggering pile of damage so deep and so wide it would take a hundred Obamas and three trillion dollars and a forklift the size of Shiva to even make a dent.

That is no joke. Did you notice? Buried beneath the avalanche of Obama stories, this bitter hunk of gristle: Right this minute, the Bush admin is trying like the Devil's own biotoxin to sneak through a whole slew of last-minute rollbacks and deregulations, a final parting gift to Bush's corporate cronies and a parting sucker punch to the country.

It's like the world's worst chef spitting on your food one last time before sending it out, cold and limp and full of as much MSG and rat feces as he can jam in there because, well, why the hell not?

I am so sorry. I don't know what just happened. Shall we start over? Here, let me splash this water on my face. And then this cold sake. And then this refreshing sense of oh my God would you look at the country right now and can you hear all the horns honking and the children grinning and the massive collective sigh? There now. Ready?

Hell yes, this is a time for screaming. For dancing, crying, celebrating with a rare feeling of renewal. It is a time for feeling it fully. A great thing has been done. A great shift has just transpired. Best news of all: There is no going back.

Forget what I said before. Gloating is allowed (OK Mark, I take it back. Un-screw you. - G), a great joyous I-told-you-so straight in the scowling faces of the racists and the warmongers and those so horribly terrified of the new and the different and the possible. Please feel free to let those rivers of gratitude course through you like molten joy coupled to the train of possibility pulled by the giant hand of hell yes.

Above all, it is a time to exhale, to relax a little, to get the hell on with it. I know I speak for roughly five thousand fellow media lackeys when I say, sweet Lord, I am just so glad this damnable beast of an election is finally over. It's like a combination of the day after Christmas and post-coital orgasm and giving birth. You can only sit in the wobbly afterglow, warm and buzzing and dizzy, insanely grateful you didn't get a stocking full of Satan and Alaskan moosemeat and dirt, or a baby with three tiny heads and a nail gun where his arm should be.

This, I think, is perhaps the most important sentiment of all. Not merely relief, not liberation, not even unadulterated joy.

It's gratitude. Deep and satisfying and good. A sense of profound thanks that, well, we made it through. The hopefulness prevailed. That Obama not only survived and flourished, but appears more determined and assured than ever. What's more, our massive, ungainly democratic system? That hugely flawed beast of burden, gutted by eight solid years of the worst kind of abuse and misprision? It still seems to work. Well, mostly. How astonishing is that?

Pretty astonishing. I think we all thought, or at least hoped, that it was buried not so deep, and are thankful, grateful, happy, to see it rise from the ashes of The Bush Years.

Break time will be over soon. Then it'll be time to roll up our sleeves, spit on our palms, and work that shovel like people possessed. There's a great steaming pile of Bushit that absolutely has to be hauled to the dump before the shovel gets stolen.

Threefer from Krugman

Here are three posts from Krugman's blog, "Conscience of a Liberal":

Too much explanation

I’m reading a lot about why Obama won, with long lists of stuff — it was the Palin effect, it was the skill of the Obama campaign, it was the 50-state strategy, etc...
...

But basically there was a national wave against Republicans, suggesting that we don’t need a complex narrative.

The monster years

Last night wasn’t just a victory for tolerance; it wasn’t just a mandate for progressive change; it was also, I hope, the end of the monster years.

What I mean by that is that for the past 14 years America’s political life has been largely dominated by, well, monsters. Monsters like Tom DeLay, who suggested that the shootings at Columbine happened because schools teach students the theory of evolution. Monsters like Karl Rove, who declared that liberals wanted to offer “therapy and understanding” to terrorists. Monsters like Dick Cheney, who saw 9/11 as an opportunity to start torturing people.

And in our national discourse, we pretended that these monsters were reasonable, respectable people. To point out that the monsters were, in fact, monsters, was “shrill.”

Four years ago it seemed as if the monsters would dominate American politics for a long time to come. But for now, at least, they’ve been banished to the wilderness.

Mandate

A magnificent victory for Barack Obama. And bear in mind that the campaign, in its final stages, was really about different philosophies of governing. This wasn’t like the 2004 campaign, which was essentially fought over fake issues — Bush running on national security and social issues, then claiming that he had a mandate to privatize Social Security. In this election, Obama proudly stood up for progressive values and the superiority of progressive policies; John McCain, in return, denounced him as a socialist, a redistributor. And the American people rendered their verdict.

Now the work begins.

Indeed. The Bush Monsters have left us a great steaming pile, and we have handed Obama a shovel.

Oh, the irony...Post-election Special Edition

Ironic Times

OBAMA WINS BIG!
Promises to take country in new direction: forward.

McCain: Election Loss is Bittersweet
Bet all his wife's money on Obama.

DIVERSE REACTIONS TO OBAMA'S STUNNING VICTORY
Comments pour in from across the political spectrum.

Todd Palin: “Time to secede.”

Michelle Obama: “For the second time in my life I'm proud of my country.”

Joe the Plumber: “Don't blame me, I didn't vote.”

Bill Clinton: “I always said he could win.”

Rev. Wright: “Goddamn, America — way to go!.”

Joe Lieberman: “He was my second choice.”

William Ayers: “Barack who?”

Joe McCain: “Call 911 — this is an emergency.”

M. Ahmadinejad: “Allah be praised. Let's do lunch.”

Malia & Sasha Obama: “We're going to Disneyland!”

Unemployment Rate Jumps
As thousands of pundits are laid off.

Parting Thoughts On The Embarrassment That Is (Sorry: Was) The McCain-Palin Campaign

Verse-Case Scenario by Tony Peyser

The only thing on which John ever had a lock is
Being as bad a campaigner as Michael Dukakis.

And let us pause now to also declare a
Final & formal end to the era of Sarah.

No more comments -- dumb and dumber
No more Joes (the Lieberman, the Plumber.)

No more mainstream pundit's glares
Ginning up the ghost of Bill Ayres.

Now is when each and every nasty lie ends;
Goodbye my prisoners, goodbye my friends.

Don't let the door hit ya in the ass on yer way out.

Update:


I couldn't snag it, so go to the site and click "Here's Porky!".

Update dos:

Raw Story

In a telegram leaked to the Guardian, Sir Nigel Sheinwald, the British ambassador to Washington, says that McCain has privately been likening Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to a pitbull.

"In one joke doing the rounds, the Republican presidential candidate has been asking friends: what the difference is between Sarah Palin and a pitbull?" the paper says. "The friendly canine eventually lets go, is the McCain punchline."

"Sheinwald recently wrote a lengthy assessment of McCain in a telegram which winged its way across the Atlantic to Whitehall," the paper added. "The jaws of senior mandarins dropped when they read Sheinwald's account of McCain's thoughts on Palin which the ambassador reportedly picked up from a military friend of McCain's. The telegram was restricted to an even smaller group of people than usual for fear of another embarrassing leak. 'We took one look at this and hid it away,' one Whitehall source said."

If more than one person saw it, we'll be hearing more about it. Heh.

With any luck, Moosebreath is now relegated to the D-list and a footnote to history.

"We will get there ..."

Yes we will, Mr. President-elect.

I don't know if I have ever been more proud to be an American. Finally, after 8 years, we can begin to take our nation back. I feel, today, how many must have felt when John F. Kennedy was elected.

I haven't been able to say it for a long time, but today is a good day in America.

Update:

Comrade Misfit to Tom DeLay and Grover Norquist:

Obama is on track to win over 300 electoral votes. How do you two douchebags want your crow prepared?

Steve Soto:

Our long, national nightmare is over.

Update Zwei:

Nunya:

... Omigod, there's gonna be brains in the White House again!

The Rude One:

Damn. We truly are a better country than we thought we were.

Update Trois:

Cenk Uygur:

America has come back home.

We gots us a Preznizzle!

Having been the first around here to let slip the dogs of mouth by projecting what indeed turned out to be a landslide victory for President-elect Obama, I now gloat. Then I go get a splint on this arm I just broke patting myself on the back.

Thank you, America. Well, enough of it.

Now to kill the buzz a little - the Chimp still has 75 days to fuck things up even worse, and believe me, he's trying. Suggestion to Bush: rename the White House basement der Chimpenbunker, go down there and lock the door behind you. Be sure you have a suicide pill. Or a bag of pretzels.

Here's the fun part: Repug whining will now commence. Watch out for pointing fingers and rapidly backing-up wingnuts. Heh.

I feel the best I have in 8 years. I've had muscles relax I forgot I had or just thought were stuck spring-loaded to the fully pissed-off position, to use an old Jarhead phrase. A coupla days would be nice, but don't worry, my immediate euphoria will no doubt pass. We blasted the shit outta the big one but it's still a target-rich environment out there.

Oh, lest I forget: Fixer, you can stop worrying about the election now. I think.

This Land Is Our Land - Once Again

This Land Is Your Land - Bruce Springsteen/Barack Obama

Live Election Results

At Deuddersun Says...

I'm gonna leave it up all evening in its own window and refer to it often.

SuperBarack!

Their business is falling off...

LATimes

At Donna's Ranch, a brothel in Wells, Nev., most of the customers are long-haul truckers. High fuel and food prices have drained them of 'play money.' So the working girls sit and wait.

Signs of the economic free fall have cropped up in many of Nevada's 25 or so legal brothels. The Mustang Ranch, for example, has a steady stream of customers, but the number of women vying for work has soared. Even a 74-year-old applied. This summer, the Shady Lady gave $50 gas cards to those who spent $300. The Moonlite Bunny Ranch offered extras to customers paying with their economic stimulus checks.

David Zett, a long-hauler from Loretta, Wis., gulps a Miller Genuine Draft and bashes oil companies: "They've got you over a barrel and can do whatever they want to you, and they don't even kiss you when they're done."

"Just like this place," Hargis says.

"No," Zett says. "They kiss you."

From 2006 to 2007, the brothel's revenue climbed 7.6%, to about $1 million. This year, Arnold expects to make about $200,000 less. Closing that gap is tricky: Brothel advertising is legal, but billboards and bus ads risk upsetting neighbors. So the bordello sponsors a soccer team in Boise and a rodeo in Wells. It also bought lights for the high school football field and gave local motels pens, which boast that Donna's is "Your Biggest Bang for the Buck."

Free beer. Free chili. Free shower. SOUVENIRS.

Now yer talkin'!

Wells NV is a town (to be charitable about it) of about 1500 out in the middle of nowhere. The nearest town of any, say again any, size is Elko and the nearest city is Salt Lake City about 150 miles away. Except for SLC, Donna's local customer base is approximately zip-point-zilch.

I have a suggestion. Donna's should offer senior citizen early-bird specials. They'll understand why they should start early after the first one. Heh. Us ol' farts take a little, er, coaxin'.

Maybe bus tours. There's plenty of senior gambling bus tours, why not a Dirty Ol' Man Brothel Bus? It only has to happen once a month, on the fourth Wednesday. That's when we get our Social Security checks.

And don't expect the same guys every month. The older fellas gotta, er, save up for that stuff.

Zamboni

We need a little light humor today. Well, maybe you don't, but I gotta unclench everything fer a minute. It's startin' ta hurt a little. Besides, it snowed last night, the world is white, and I'm thinkin' winter. Enjoy.

This one's dedicated to Moosebreath Palin who's gonna name the next of her spawn 'Zamboni'. I wonder if she knows she's naming it after a product that's not made in the 'real' America?

[...] In fact, it's not unusual to see Zamboni ice resurfacers driving down the neighborhood streets on their way to be tested at Iceland.

Ya'd think me 'n Fixer worked there! Can Zambonis peel out?

Gear Daddies - I Wanta Drive The Zamboni

Today may mark the end of the Repuglican era

Good piece in The Guardian by Sidney Blumenthal:

Today's election is poised to end the Republican era in American politics - an era that began in reaction to Lyndon Johnson's Great Society, the Vietnam war and the civil rights revolution, was pioneered by Richard Nixon, consolidated by Ronald Reagan, and wrecked by George W Bush.

Now, certain factors that have dominated US politics for 40 years seem destined to recede to the far corners. In economics, supply-side panaceas and deregulation created the worst crisis since the Great Depression, requiring a conservative Republican administration to part-nationalise banks, something unimaginable under any Democratic administration. In foreign policy, neoconservatism led to the morass in Iraq and Afghanistan while undermining the western alliance. In social policy, the evangelical right battered science, the separation of church and state, and the right to privacy. Finally, the conservative principle of limited government has become a watchword for incompetence, cronyism, corruption, hypocrisy, and contempt for the rule of law.

Obama may still be a largely unknown quantity, but the judgment will be made about the known (my em). The election will determine more than the identity of the president. It will decide whether one era is to end and another will begin.

This election is definitely more a referendum against Bush and Repug rule than it is for Obama.

That said, we're fortunate that Obama is what he is - intelligent, educated, calm of demeanor, intellectually curious, cautious, thoughtful, and not chained to a post by ideology. He is the man we need for the times we've been dragged into.

Desperately needed change is in the air today. Let's hope it's in the ballot box as well.

Even if it is, even if Obama wins 538-0, we as good Democrats will still worry that those Repug bastards will still be able to steal it somehow.

Quote of the Day

Right Wing Watch on Religious Right 'values voters':

They'd Vote For Satan if He Was a Republican

Well, he is, and they have a pretty good track record of that in the last eight years.

Hell, I'd vote for Ol' Scratch if he wasn't.

Mood Music

A little mood music to ease the waiting:



Sam Cooke — "A Change Is Gonna Come."

Or you can try this one:



Allison Moorer — "A Change Is Gonna Come."

Or if you prefer, Otis' version:

There's only one thing ...

I want you to do today:


VOTE!


Me and the Mrs. are leaving for the polls in a couple minutes.

Update:

Just got back and turnout was awesome. Usually, the Mrs, and I are #1 and #2 to vote. This morning, we got to the polls 15 minutes before they opened and there were already 50 people on line ahead of us. I'm proud of my neighbors.

Off to work ...

And so it begins...

WMUR NH

Obama Beats McCain 15-6 In Dixville Notch

250% is a good start!

Based on early results, the Lef' Coas' Brainiac projects a landslide win for Obama!

It's gonna be a long day...

Early Voting Story

The other day I said somewhere that we didn't have early voting in California. Oops. Since we just got back from voting early, I guess I was wrong. Here's how it went in one little slice of small town life.

Normally, the polls are set up in the public meeting room at the Public Utility District (PUD. Heh.) building, aka the town water & power dept. There are three or four poll workers, half a dozen cardboard voting booths with trash bag privacy curtains, and lately, one, count 'em one electronic voting machine.

The early voting took place instead at the town offices, which is exactly downstairs from the bank Mrs. G just retired from. Usually, we sign next to our names on the official list of voters. Today we filled out cards for later cross reference.

There were about four or five people ahead of us. The chairs in the regular town waiting area are very comfortable. We were to have about an hour's wait according to the town clerk. She was very pleasant and gracious and I was a little surprised she didn't suggest we wait in the bar.

Mrs. G was a little worried - with nothing to do for an hour, she just knew I was going to get in some kinda trouble. I was chatting with a young gent who mentioned something about smoke 'n mirrors in relation to town business. I feigned horror and said "Shhh! Don't say 'smoke 'n mirrors!'" and pointed to the 8½ x 11 "no electioneering within 100 feet of polls" sign on the counter.

Town business was going on all around us while we waited. UPS and some other delivery outfit came and went. A coupla PUD folks came to get keys and other stuff to get tomorrow's polling place set up. A gent came in to get the key to the auxiliary generator room in the building. I had this fantasy of sneakin' in there, jammin' the throttle open with a stick, and watching all the light bulbs in the joint blow out. Heh. We visited with our friend and neighbor Keri. She's the local Minister of Parking Enforcement, aka the meter maid for our town's one block of metered parking.

I only got Mrs. G to wince once. This takes a little setup.

We have a proposition on the ballot that if passed will mandate conditions of better quality of life and sanitation for farm animals. Seems like a no-brainer, but the huge chicken farmer lobby has been running ads against it, saying in effect that if we don't let them abuse the chickens we'll have to import chickens and eggs from Mexico and we'll all die from salmonella. If you saw the conditions in some of those places, you'd think you were being given the choice to die from either Mexican salmonella or good ol' American salmonella.

So I turns ta Mrs. G, and in my drill field whisper asked her, "Honey, I forget - am I supposed to vote for the Mexican or the American salmonella?" She gave me The Look and a coupla folks laughed.

I didn't even come close to gettin' thrown outta the joint. I think the town folks and voters alike were grateful for my attempts at humor. I hope so. It was awfully boring.

One person at a time was led around behind the counter and deep into the office area by town employee Shauna, whom we've known since she was ten years old. When they finished, after maybe five minutes, Shauna brought them back out and took the next one in. Mrs. G went before me. At this point, Shauna had to step out for a minute, so she just had Mrs. G come get me. The town clerk lady followed us, no doubt to make sure I didn't cause any mischief in the ten feet of hallway that I was out of her sight. I don't blame her.

Mrs. G led me straight into Shauna's office. There was one, count 'em one electronic voting machine there, the sum total of our town's early voting efforts. I think I used it in June's primary. Cool gadget. I kept screwing up, and voted for Obama about three or four times. Actually, I thought that was pretty neat. At the end came a printed summary for my approval. Obama's name was only on it once. Drat.

Total time, just about an hour. No doughnuts, ice cream, or sex toys, just the satisfaction that we might have helped prevent another criminal regime.

Also, today is me 'n Mrs. G's 35th wedding anniversary. We're gonna paint the town red at Zano's, probably with marinara sauce. We're going for the early bird special an' I got a coupon! Whee!

Update:

Charlie Brown is running for Congress from CA-04 against Tom McCarpetbagger. The campaign has been ugly from the Repug side, big surprise. Mrs. G just told me some moron left a goat's head on his porch. Keep it classy, you Repug bastards.

I'm in love with a butch lesbian

Great article in New York Magazine on Rachel Maddow. Long. Good. If you like her, go read it. Just a coupla quotes:

She also does not abide impoliteness: In March, when Pat Buchanan told Democratic strategist Kelli Goff to “shut up” on Dan Abrams’s show, on which Maddow was also a guest, she leaped in to administer such a deft, polite scolding—“Pat! I have never heard you tell anyone to shut up like that before!”—that the former Nixon speechwriter looked genuinely chastened. Buchanan, whose 1992 culture-war speech was a pivotal moment for 19-year-old lesbian Maddow, now frequently appears on The Rachel Maddow Show to provide conservative counterpoint under the rubric “It’s Pat,” which he most likely doesn’t know is a reference to the old Saturday Night Live skit about a gender-neutral character. “Thank you so much for coming on, Pat. Always a pleasure,” she says warmly when he totters off after their sparring matches.

I picked up on the SNL "It's Pat!" reference the first time I saw it. The old fart indeed does not have a clue. On many levels.

If you leave out enough shit between the quotes you can make any point you care to:

“He pees like a girl,” she points out.

More like an old Repug. Heh.

Note to Rachel: Go ahead and get the restraining order on me, hon. I can take it.

This ain't a movie, Ah-nold

Pensito Review

One trait Schwarzenegger shares with George Bush is a sense of humor that relies heavily on locker-room towel-snapping:

Schwarzenegger long has sponsored an annual bodybuilding competition in Columbus, and he joked that he hoped to invite Obama next time because “he needs to do something with those skinny legs.”

“We’re going to make him do some squats, and then we’re going to give him some biceps curls to beef up those scrawny little arms. But if you only could do something about putting some meat on his ideas,” Schwarzenegger said.

Har-har.

Yeah, har-dee-fuckin'-har. This ain't no movie, Ah-nold. No stunt men allowed. I've seen Obama with his shirt off. The kid's made out of steel springs. I bet he could kick your ass up around your ears. Don't worry, he won't. He wouldn't wanta be accused of elder abuse.

McCain and Schwarzenegger won’t be campaigning together in California, because the last three statewide polls show McCain losing to Barack Obama by jaw-droppingly large margins — 27, 23 and 22 percentage points.

Har-har.

Update:

LTR: "Send In The Clowns".

“we're here to plump... you up”

I rest my case.

The Most Accurate Election Forecast

Keith Thomson, HuffPo is off to the races...

I asked him: "Do you think handicappers can forecast the outcome of the presidential election better than polls?"

He didn't hesitate. "Polls can be inaccurate. People may say what is politically correct, the questions may be leading, the pollsters may be biased. A pollster can still bill for an inaccurate poll. Bookmakers must make an accurate line or they lose -- period."

For a second opinion I went to Ray Paulick, who was a protégé of notorious oddsmaker "Jimmy The Greek" before becoming a handicapper for the Daily Racing Form. Now he's editor of the thoroughbred industry insiders' must-read Paulick Report. "Gamblers have more experience with cheaters," he said. "They take voter fraud into their metrics. Polls don't. Nor do polls take into account how each state's secretary of state factors in, or systems within a state designed to eliminate voters; Jimmy the Greek called these 'the intangibles.'"

The multi-billion dollar online gaming industry offers evidence that Maloney and Paulick are, as usual, on the money.

With University of Arizona economist Paul Rhode, Strumpf authored a study -- "Historical Presidential Betting Markets," published in Journal of Economic Perspectives -- that demonstrates that the betting market's forecasting superiority is nothing new.

Currently, Betfair lists Barack Obama as an overwhelming 1-7 favorite (paying $8 for a $7 winning bet). A John McCain win would pay $6.80 for every dollar bet.

So...the best outcome is the worst bet. Amazing...

The Republican Rump*

*Not the word I would have used.

Good read from Paul Krugman today. He's predicting the Repugs will become even worse after their impending defeat.

[...] But let me ask a different question that will also be important for the nation’s future: What will defeat do to the Republicans?

You might think, perhaps hope, that Republicans will engage in some soul-searching, that they’ll ask themselves whether and how they lost touch with the national mainstream. But my prediction is that this won’t happen any time soon.

Instead, the Republican rump, the party that’s left after the election, will be the party that attends Sarah Palin’s rallies, where crowds chant “Vote McCain, not Hussein!” It will be the party of Saxby Chambliss, the senator from Georgia, who, observing large-scale early voting by African-Americans, warns his supporters that “the other folks are voting.” It will be the party that harbors menacing fantasies about Barack Obama’s Marxist — or was that Islamic? — roots.

Why will the G.O.P. become more, not less, extreme? For one thing, projections suggest that this election will drive many of the remaining Republican moderates out of Congress, while leaving the hard right in place.

Anyway, the Republican base, egged on by the McCain-Palin campaign, thinks that elections should reflect the views of “real Americans” — and most of the people reading this column probably don’t qualify.

To take that a step further, most of the people who can read probably don't qualify.

[...] The real America, it seems, is small-town, mainly southern and, above all, white.

But the G.O.P.’s long transformation into the party of the unreasonable right, a haven for racists and reactionaries, seems likely to accelerate as a result of the impending defeat.

This will pose a dilemma for moderate conservatives. Many of them spent the Bush years in denial, closing their eyes to the administration’s dishonesty and contempt for the rule of law. Some of them have tried to maintain that denial through this year’s election season, even as the McCain-Palin campaign’s tactics have grown ever uglier. But one of these days they’re going to have to realize that the G.O.P. has become the party of intolerance.

A lot of us realized that a long time ago. Like a cuckolded husband (or wife), those closest to the problem are the last to know. Or at least to admit it.

Mr. Krugman is probably right. Facing defeat, the worst of the Repugs have been coming out from under their rocks and being pretty open about their intolerance for some time now. Good. They'll be easier to deal with out in the light. As we learned on the rifle range in times long past, the better the light, the better the sight picture.

Free sex toys for voting

MSNBC

Just when you thought it was safe to focus on the issues in this historic election season, a chain of sex toy shops has joined retailers, restaurateurs and other businesses across the nation in the time-honored tradition of rewarding Americans who go to the polls.

The rewards are no-so-subtle reminders of this year’s campaign rhetoric. For men, it’s the “Maverick,” a "sleeve" for self-pleasuring. According to a press release, “He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.” Women can choose the “Silver Bullet” mini-vibrator, which is “a magical solution to difficult problems” and “a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!” The promotion lasts through Nov. 11.

Those with a sweet tooth can stop by participating Krispy Kreme or Ben & Jerry’s locations to receive special treats. Krispy Kreme will be handing out star-shaped doughnuts with red, white, and blue sprinkles, one each, to voters, while Ben & Jerry’s is serving up free scoops of ice cream to everyone who shows up on Election Day between 5 and 8 p.m., whether they voted or not.

Now yer talkin'! Shit, at my age doughnuts and ice cream are sex toys...

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Bush Aims to Weaken Laws in Final Months of Administration
Particularly those relating to war crimes.

Obama Campaign Fears “Bradley Effect”
McCain campaign fears “Magoo Effect.”

Vatican Issues New Screening Guidelines For Priests
Taking second look at those who check “maybe” under “pedophile?”

Republicans Warn Voters Against Giving Democrats One-Party Control of Government
Cite policy disasters that were allowed to occur between 2000-2006.

When ya shit the diaper ...

Ya gotta sit in it. Poor babies:

...

"You have a combination of no legacy stuff, a horrible economic mess and the likelihood that Obama is going to win," this person [WH staffer] added. "There is a real sadness there."

...

Aw, they're so sad because they've fucked everything to Hell and history will remember it. I wonder if they even gave a thought to the people they've been fucking dry for the last 8 years? Doubtful ...

Great thanks to Avedon for the link.

Wishful thinking ...

Digby has a good post up about the conservative pundits developing a sense of amnesia about the last 8 years. She sums up with a hope for the future:

...

If Obama wants to deliver change, the first thing he has to do is figure out a way to either co-opt of vanquish the village elders. And congress is a wild card. If they play nice, Obama may be able to roll over the village. If they decide to play "who's the boss" then we'll have a different scenario. Hopefully, they will have learned the real lesson of the Clinton years, which is to not enable Republicans by stabbing your president in the back every time he tries to do something even slightly liberal ...

But Digby is one of the major voices of the Reality-based Community and knows what the rest of us do:

... I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Our TV commentary sucks and it's one of the reasons we have so many 'undecideds' in this country. If you get your news from any of the major networks (let alone from Fox) you'd probably be under the impression the presidential race is neck-and-neck. I have CNN on for background while I'm working on the house in the afternoons and if I weren't a regular blog reader, I wouldn't get it either.

Unfortunately, I doubt the situation will change anytime soon. Fortunately, Darwinism works in more systems than just biology.

The smell ...

Of desperation. TPM via Mr. Philadelphia:

Interesting anecdote and probably a testament to ground organization. I have no idea what this means. Friday night (which happens to be the start of our Sabbath) my wife answered the phone to hear a man stating he was from the McCain-Palin campaign. He asked who she was supporting. She replied that we will vote for Obama. He replied with "but he's a f-----g n---er!". Before I get to my wife's response I'll first have to say that I understand desperation and I also understand that this pitch may actually work for a few people. I also understand that there are people who are whack-jobs phone-banking for both sides. But here are some facts:

...

Facts are what make it good:

...

My wife and I are Black. Citing the fact that Obama is a f----g n---er as a way to sway our vote may not be a great idea. My wife and I live in Maryland... Baltimore, MD.... One of the most African American areas of Baltimore Maryland. How on earth did our phone numbers get on to a McCain volunteers phone bank list of potential voters to be calling at this stage in the game? We have never received a call from the Obama campaign.

...

Weekend whorage

The next chapter of Birthright is up at The Practical Press.

I feel like Quasimodo spending so much time in the attic over the last week.


For your Sunday evening, some smooth jazz from a master:

Bill Evans - Waltz For Debby

No on 8

A shorter version of this is all over TV out here.



Update:

I been screwing around with something I probably shouldn't have. How do I get all those 'Download Videos' outta here?

Sunday Emmylou Blogging

Not much to look at, so just close your eyes and listen.

Emmylou Harris - Another Lonesome Morning

Sunday Crazy South Philly Redneck Music Blogging

Jim Croce has been gone for 35 years and I still miss him.

Jim Croce - Rapid Roy & Car Wash Blues