Saturday, December 24, 2005

Can ya spare a copy?

...

Turns out the truth is no stranger than fiction.

We think it's time for Congress to heed the warning of George Orwell.

To that end, The Oakland Tribune, a sister paper of The Argus, is asking for your help: Mail them or drop off your tattered copies of "1984." When they get 537 of them, they'll send them off to every member of the House of Representatives and Senate, and to President Bush and Vice President Cheney, as well.

Feel free to inscribe the book with a note, reminding these fine people that we Americans take the threat to our liberties seriously. Remind Congress that it makes no sense to fight a war for democracy in a foreign land while allowing our democratic principles to erode at home.

...

A barrel to drop your books into is in the Tribune Tower lobby, 401 13th St., Oakland. Books may be mailed to the same address. Doors are open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. [Oakland Tribune]


I'm digging around for my paperback version tomorrow to mail it off Tuesday. I'll be around tomorrow but I'm done for the day unless some shit hits the fan. Time to go eat, drink, and be merry.

Thanks to Jillian.

Misinformer of the Year

Lardass. QED.

They've used it up

The carefully crafted plan for domination of the world (and its oil resources) is coming apart. Now that I look at it, it was a one shot deal. It was built so well, the gift of 9/11 to the Chimp was the icing on the cake, or the plan would never have come off the ground, maybe not have even been attempted. But they had no contingency for failure. They didn't anticipate it, couldn't allow themselves to even consider failure, and thus never planned for it.

It was years in the making, over a decade at least, since the first Gulf War. Were it not for the first Bush's failure (on election day, not in Iraq), the plan would have been implemented before the turn of the century. Iraq would have been revisited after Bush 1's second term, for that was when Bush 2 was to take the throne. Clinton killed that, and the Chimp would not have been elected in '00 had he lost to an incumbent Clinton in '96. It is perfectly clear...now.

So there was this plan, where we could get to Baghdad in a couple weeks, maybe less, complete and total victory over Saddam's decimated army (remember Gulf 1?), and control of the 2nd largest (maybe the largest if some experts are to be believed) oil reserves. Two...three weeks to control of the world's most lucrative commodity. Of course we would be victorious, because we would have been victorious in Gulf 1 had only Bush 1 been resolute enough, not blinked when it came to overthrowing the oil-rich tyrant. We knew better this time, knew what to do, knew we would be welcomed as liberators (Chalabi told us so), and the oil would be ours (or at least in control of one of our puppets).

And then came September 11th and they knew they could not fail. Even liberals stood with the President, and they knew they had the power they needed. They had the Press, for none would question the 'war Presdent', and the sycophants and hangers-on came out of the woodwork to join the cause. They played the game well, playing to the far right base to create a diversion in the form of 'culture skirmishes' over everything from Intelligent Design to the Ten Commandments to the Confederate Flag. It allowed them to continue the game long after it had been played out. Had it not been for media manipulation since 9/11, Bush would never have won a second term. It was a masterful exercise, but it was designed for the 20th Century and it failed miserably. The game is over and it's just a matter of how the mess is cleaned up.

I believe it because of this from Matt Taibbi:

...

Up until now this president's solution to everything has been to stare into the cameras, lie and keep on lying until such time as the political problem disappears. And now, unable to comprehend that while political crises may wilt in the face of such tactics, real crises do not, he and his team are responding to this first serious feet-to-the-fire Iraq emergency in the same way they always have -- with a fusillade of silly, easily disprovable bullshit. Bush and his mouthpieces continue to try to obfuscate and cloud the issue of why we're in Iraq, and they do so not only selectively but constantly, compulsively, like mental patients who can't stop jacking off in public. They don't know the difference between a real problem and a political problem, because to them, there is no difference. What could possibly be worse than bad poll numbers?

...


There was no plan for failure and they don't know how to deal with it. They fall back to what has given them success in the past. But this is why I say it was a plan for the last century. They didn't understand the nature of the Internet and didn't plan for it.

Oh yes, they know it is an excellent avenue to disseminate propaganda to the masses via Assrocket, Goldberg, World Nut Daily, and others, but they didn't count on our side being able to do research. Just as they didn't expect resistance from the Iraqis, they didn't plan for it from us (and I mean everyone opposed to what the Republican Party has done to this nation), or at least our pushback was stronger than expected. In their arrogance, they believed they could control information so completely their propaganda could never be fact-checked, never be called on their transgressions, their failures.

I think they realized it not long after the insurgency began in Iraq, not long after the Chimp's 'Mission Accomplished' moment, that victory would not come as easily as they'd planned. I believe it was a turning point, when 'Homeland Security' morphed into 'Republican Security', when they knew the plan would no longer sustain itself. It was the 'whatever it takes' moment, because they knew the plan was done.

We're at the stage of desperation, the most worrisome because a cornered, wounded animal is at its most dangerous. The 'MSM' is already using the I-word, scandal after scandal has hit the Republicans since the Downing Street Memos were exposed, and now the evidence that the vast intelligence machine of the U.S. government has been turned against Americans...American citizens. The plan is dying.

Yes, they might continue in office for another 2 1/2 years, for the apathetic, the compromised, the disenchanted, and the stupid will continue in their previous roles and the Republican Party is still powerful. They might still be successful for I doubt there is any low they would not stoop to in order to win, and that's what troubles me. I feel there might be a time when they believe they have nothing left to lose and openly attempt to create a dictatorship in this nation, a coup d'Constitution if you will. They will have to at some point for we know that at the end of this, the Republican Party will be more severely crippled than they were after Watergate.

Yes, folks, this is the end of the 'Grand Plan'. It has been exposed in all its insidious glory. There is no need for them to lie anymore, it is plain for all (save the stupid and sycophantic, for the insiders know exactly what's going on) to see. It's up to those left in government with ethics and principle to drive a stake through the heart of the Republicans' disaster. It must be done now. I beg you to remember this: If they can turn the intelligence community inward, they can certainly do the same with the military. Put nothing past desperate men.

We are entering a very dangerous time.

Thanks to the lovely Jane for the Matt Taibbi link (which you should read in its entirety).
Thanks to TGW for the Taegan Goddard link.

Data mining

Or, It promises to be a good New Year.

Seems this NSA spying thing went a lot farther than most thought. In Gillard's words, "The Bush Administration went batshit."

...

The volume of information harvested from telecommunication data and voice networks, without court-approved warrants, is much larger than the White House has acknowledged, the officials said. It was collected by tapping directly into some of the American telecommunication system's main arteries, they said. [my em]

...


The only bright side is, hopefully the Brain has made it to the White House Enemies List. I'll wear that as a badge of honor.

Gulf War Syndrome

My man Lurch has some interesting facts.

Supporting the troops

If you're giving this season... They can't be home for the holidays.

Thanks to Melanie for the reminder.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Made it...

Started the day with heave-hos rancheros at the Donner Lake Kitchen. It was all downhill from there, at least as far as Sacramento. On that part of I-80 you can tell when you're catchin' up to a big rig miles ahead of time. I love the smell of fryin' truck brakes in the morning!

On the 200-mile stretch of I-5, I just stayed a good interval behind trucks as much as I could. You get to see a lot of nice new cars that way, when they fly past in the hot lane. There was enough traffic that it looked like a parade of (speeding) circus elephants, each one's trunk holding the tail of the one in front. Those city drivers follow each other way too close (worse: they follow me way too close), and they are forever hittin' their brakes and making the brake lights come on. Like they could stop in time if they ever had to! You should never need your brakes just runnin' down the superslab if you're doin' it right.

West on SR 41 to 46 (the intersection where James Dean was killed) to US 101 and here we are at the beautiful, centrally located, and pretty cheap Premier Inn in Pismo Beach. Terrific view of the Pacific Ocean from our door. Also of K-Mart, but this joint is 50 bucks a night cheaper than the fancy place we had to stay at T'giving. Other than that, the only functional difference is dial-up instead of wireless service. For $50 per, I can live with it.

The phone you hook up to is on the nightstand and the closest wall plug is across the room. Note to self: add an extension cord to mini-Hal's accessory suite. I have no idea how long the battery lasts in one of these things, so see ya later.

Education

Us: PZ Myers
Wingnuts: Sam Weaver (to whom Brad R. introduces us. Thanks a lot, Brad.)

The Holidays

Happy whatever the hell you do this time of year. As a heathen myself, all I'll say is:

Peace.

Friday Cattle Dog Blogging



Princess Shayna knows how to relax.

Be it ever so crumbly

I've been saying this since we went to war in Iraq:

...

In summation, what Bush is now doing to the American people by unlawfully spying on them is clearly an impeachable offense under the U.S. Constitution. We are being ruled by a man who has no respect for our laws, the Courts or our institutions. He is a one-man wrecking crew - a menace to our society and to its revered traditions. He is also the architect of another insidious evil -- Perpetual War! Bush is as whacky in his own flakey ways as were the nutty Caligula and Nero in theirs. Unless "Emperor Bush" is stopped - impeached and jailed - by an awakened people, who have reached their tipping point, he will lead America further into the abyss. It is a place from which our Republic, founded by the gallant patriots of old, may never be able to return.

...

You're kidding, right?

You're putting out a list of accomplishments?

Great thanks: Carpetbagger Report

Surveillance

Lovely.

In search of a terrorist nuclear bomb, the federal government since 9/11 has run a far-reaching, top secret program to monitor radiation levels at over a hundred Muslim sites in the Washington, D.C., area, including mosques, homes, businesses, and warehouses, plus similar sites in at least five other cities, U.S. News has learned. In numerous cases, the monitoring required investigators to go on to the property under surveillance, although no search warrants or court orders were ever obtained, according to those with knowledge of the program. Some participants were threatened with loss of their jobs when they questioned the legality of the operation, according to these accounts.

...


Need we say the people under surveillance were all U.S. citizens?

Hat tip: Atrios

More Ford

From the Alternate Brain Mail Bag, a reply to my email to Ford on their commitment to GLBT advertising:

Thank you for writing.

At Ford we value diversity among all of our constituents and pride ourselves on strong and clear values - respect for our customers, communities, employees, suppliers and dealers; acceptance of our differences; inclusion of different people with different perspectives; and integrity to always do the right thing. We value all people - regardless of their race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and cultural or physical differences. This is a strong commitment we intend to carry forward with no exception. We are pleased to clear up any misperceptions and get back to doing what we do best - building the best cars and trucks in America.

Thank you again for contacting Ford.


Respectfully,
Customer Relationship Center
Ford Motor Company [my emphasis]

Headin' out...

Me 'n Mrs. G are headin' out to the coast today to go visit her family for Christmas. I think our motel has dial-up but I'm not sure, so if you don't hear from me for a coupla days don't look for ransom notes. We'll be driving back next Tuesday. We stay over an extra day to avoid the 400-mile bumper car ride that is California roads on a big holiday.

We get to go to her wingnut nephew's house for Christmas dinner. We dodged it fer a coupla years, but this year things are going a lot better for us reality-based types what with the investigations, indictments, Chimpy steppin' all over his unit and such, so it'll be OK. It's a sad thing to let that political shit get in between family, but that's the world we live in right now.

If I don't see ya, Happy Christmahanukwaanzakah or whatever.

[/crickets]

Rule of Law again. Stolen completely from my pal David:

1998: "Rule of law! Rule of law!! Rule of law!!!" (rationale for impeaching Clinton for lying about a blowjob. Um, guys, if Hillary was your wife, you'd lie too).

2005: "Whut?" (cue crickets: ree ree ree)

I think my hypocrisy meter just went *spant*.

Daschle

I was never a big fan, but we do owe him a lot. He saved our butts 4 years ago:

...

"Literally minutes before the Senate cast its vote, the administration sought to add the words 'in the United States and' after 'appropriate force' in the agreed-upon text," Daschle wrote. "This last-minute change would have given the president broad authority to exercise expansive powers not just overseas -- where we all understood he wanted authority to act -- but right here in the United States, potentially against American citizens. I could see no justification for Congress to accede to this extraordinary request for additional authority. I refused."

...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Rude One Has a Contract for You

Damn, I wish I could write half as good:

The Loyal Citizen's Contract With the American Government:

"I (the undersigned) believe President George W. Bush when he says that the United States of America is fighting a 'new kind of enemy' that requires 'new thinking' about how to wage war. Therefore, as a loyal citizen of President Bush’s United States, my signature below indicates my agreement to the following:

"1. I believe wholeheartedly in the Patriot Act as initially passed by Congress in 2001, as well as the provisions of the Domestic Security Enhancement Act. Therefore, I grant the FBI access to:

"a. my library records, so it may determine if I am reading material that might designate me an enemy of the nation;

"b. my financial records, including credit reports, so it may determine if I am contributing monetarily to any governmentally proscribed activities or organizations;

"c. my medical records, so it may determine if my prescriptions, injuries, or other conditions are indicative of terrorist activity on my part;

"d. any and all other personal records including, but not limited to, my store purchases, my school records, my web browsing history, and anything else determined as a 'tangible thing' necessary to engage in a secret investigation of me.

"I agree that I do not need to be notified if my records have come under scrutiny by the FBI, and, furthermore, I agree that no warrant is needed for the FBI to engage in this examination of my personal records. Additionally, I agree that the FBI should be allowed to monitor any groups it believes may be linked to what it determines to be terrorist activity.

"2. I believe that the President of the United States has the power to mitigate any and all laws passed by the Congress and that he has such power granted to him by his status as Commander-in-Chief in the Constitution as well as the 2001 Authorization of Military Force, passed by the Congress, which states that the President can use 'all necessary and appropriate force' in prosecution of the war. Therefore, I grant the United States government the following powers:

"a. that the National Security Agency, under the direction of the President, may tap my phone lines and intercept my e-mail without warrant or FISA oversight;

"b. that the President may hold me or other detainees without access to the legal system for a period of time determined by the President or his agents;

"c. that the President may authorize physical force against me or other individual detainees in order to gain intelligence and that he may define whether such physical force may be called 'torture':

"d. that the President may set aside any and all laws he sees as hindering the gathering of intelligence and prevention of terrorist acts for a period as time determined by the President, including, but not limited to, rights to political protest.

"I agree that the Judicial and Legislative branch should be allowed no oversight of these activities, and that such oversight merely emboldens the terrorists. I also agree that virtually all of these activities may be conducted in complete secrecy and that revelation of these activities amount to treasonous behavior on the part of those who reveal these activities to the press and the citizenry.

"3. Finally, this document is my statement that I believe the President of the United States and the entire executive branch, as well as all departments and agencies involved, as well as all of its personnel, will treat these powers I have granted them with utmost respect. I believe that these powers will not be abused, nor will any of the information I have given them permission to examine be misinterpreted. However, should such abuse or misinterpretation occur, I agree that such actions are mere errors and no one should be subject to investigation, arrest, or employment action as a result.

"My consent freely given,
"(Your signature)"

Surprise, fraidy cats!

...

Our Dear Leader is famous for this stunt as well, of course. Remember when he payed a "surprise visit" that Thanksgiving after 'Mission Accomplished' to boost the morale of the troops who were still being blown up on a daily basis by staging a self-serving photo-op with a plastic turkey? And speaking of plastic turkeys, what about Mother Condoleezza? She's really good at these surprise visits too!

My, goodness. Have you ever seen a bigger pack of fraidy cats? Should mommy go with you today?

...


The wonderful Neil Shakespeare.

Snotty's replacement

One of the reasons I love Bob Geiger is he dislikes Snot McClellan as much as I do.

And while you're at Bob's, read how Scott Ritter gives Christopher Hitchens a wedgie.

Failure of the Year

Guess who?

Thanks to Ol' Froth.

Air Ops

Mr. H finds a piece that sounds chilling.

Spirituality

If you haven't been to Dr. Forbush, you should pay him a visit.

Trivializing Terror

Kevin Drum writes on the administration playing fuck-fuck with the court system in the Jose Padilla case, and the 4th Circuit's lack of amusement about it.

In other words, if the government's own actions make it clear that they consider the war on terror to be little more than a game designed to expand presidential power, how can they expect anyone else to take it seriously either?

A must read, not very long.

This'll make ya gag...

The Fauquier Times-Democrat catches Linda Tripp gobblin' some sausage instead of Monica Lewinsky.

Unanswer Man

Again the WaPo, with a pretty good piece on White House court jester press shill Scotty McLellan.

Scott McClellan Is the President's Spokesman, Which Doesn't Leave Him Much to Say

When briefings get tense, McClellan's voice can become robotic, as if he's a hostage reading a statement. His body language can betray unease: He starts blinking rapidly and he clenches his shoulders as an interrogator unfurls a question.

"There's no question the dynamic of the briefing room has changed with live TV," says senior White House aide Dan Bartlett, who also works closely with McClellan. "When you have live cameras rolling, it makes for an even more stressful working environment. You're talking about difficult issues, and mistakes get compounded."

Oh, I'm sure it was much easier in all-print days gone by: you only had to lie to a few guys who were in on the joke instead of millions of people who don't think official lies are a damn bit funny.

"We've come to understand that no matter how we slice and dice something, Scott's going to stick to the recipe," says Ken Herman, White House correspondent for Cox News Service. "I can't think of any topic where on the sixth or seventh iteration of a question we get something different from the original answer. By somebody's measure, that's the definition of doing the job well. Certainly not ours."

As with most people who do regular televised battle with McClellan, Herman says McClellan is a nice guy, polite and friendly off-camera. "He seems to have the right temperament to be a punching bag," Herman says.

"Who knows, maybe he goes home at night and kicks his dog?"

That's the Bush way, all right: take it out on the defenseless. And then lie about it.

"They couldn't dream one up."

This is getting better and better. From the WaPo:

The presiding judge of a secret court that oversees government surveillance in espionage and terrorism cases is arranging a classified briefing for her fellow judges to address their concerns about the legality of President Bush's domestic spying program, according to several intelligence and government sources.

One government official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said the administration complained bitterly that the FISA process demanded too much: to name a target and give a reason to spy on it.

"For FISA, they had to put down a written justification for the wiretap," said the official. "They couldn't dream one up."

Obeying the law "demands too much"? Ha! Tell that to the Judge the next time you're in court and watch what happens!

...and his nose lights up red!

I was reading an article in Mother Jones 'acknowledging the groups, organizations, publics, and citizenries who stood up for their rights this year' and ran across two jewels I just have to share:

The most compelling images of 2005 are those of war, flood, and riot, but perhaps the most summary one wasn't even of human beings. It was a novelty photograph that appeared in many newspapers in late September of a huge non-native python that choked itself to death trying to swallow an alligator in Florida. It proved a lasting image of overwhelming and unsuccessful greed. All around the world this year, the snake choked and the alligator refused to see itself as lunch -- if you will let "alligator" stand in here for "civil society," for all the groups, organizations, publics, and citizenries who stood up for their rights.

I saw the photo, but never saw it as a metaphor for Bu$h and his political and corporate cronies until now. Fits like a glove!

And this one that gave this post its title:

[...]
You could say that, again and again, we mistake the hood ornament for the engine that moves us forward -- or backward, since pro-war neoconservatism gets called "Bush" (my em) as often as the peace movement is dubbed "Cindy."

I'll buy it, although I prefer to visualize him more as strapped across the fender with a tag in his ear.

A couple more:

And speaking of Bush, it was a pretty good year for people who stated all the most inconvenient facts or (as they liked to call it way back when) spoke truth to power. Even the powerful piped up surprisingly loudly sometimes -- from Congressman John Murtha who decried the whole damn war and highlighted the American wounded (so often forgotten) to Senator John McCain who took a heartfelt stand against torture -- even if the moment had come for ambitious Republicans to regard Bush as something akin to an Ebola-infected chimp (my em. Ha!). And a bad year for those who would only state the facts convenient to the powerful: the downfall of Judith Miller and the humiliation of Bob Woodward tainted the country's two leading newspapers, which had tolerated their "access journalism" (think: sycophancy) in ways that damaged both the media and democracy. Those plummeting stars grudgingly, belatedly fingered some of the Bush administration's key players on the way down. (As a much better journalist, Robert Scheer, pointed out, had Miller spoken up sooner, the outcome of the presidential election might have been different. Thank you Judy, and a more sincere thank you to the San Francisco Chronicle, which quickly hired Scheer when the Los Angeles Times, whose Chicago owners have been yanking its chain hard lately, fired him.)

Thirteen months ago, when Bush was reelected, the despondent around me seemed to think that our future was graven in stone. But in the best and worst of ways, in this wild, wild year that ends so differently than it began, it has turned out to be written in water. Much of the news is grim, but the best of it is being lived out by nurses, immigrant farmworkers, Korean farmers, campers in the grass of Crawford, Texas, marchers in the streets of Washington, Mexico City, Buenos Aires, Hong Kong, and elsewhere, scribblers on various blogs (ahem!), volunteers in various crises, and the immeasurable force of people everywhere who won't let the official version go unchallenged anywhere.

It's nice to see a good article end on a positive note. We need a little reinforcement from time to time. You owe it to yourself to read this one.

Senator Byrd: No President is Above the Law

Senator Byrd tears Bush a new one:

Americans have been stunned at the recent news of the abuses of power by an overzealous President. It has become apparent that this Administration has engaged in a consistent and unrelenting pattern of abuse against our Country's law-abiding citizens, and against our Constitution.

I continue to be shocked and astounded by the breadth with which the Administration undermines the constitutional protections afforded to the people, and the arrogance with which it rebukes the powers held by the Legislative and Judicial Branches. The President has cast off federal law, enacted by Congress, often bearing his own signature, as mere formality. He has rebuffed the rule of law, and he has trivialized and trampled upon the prohibitions against unreasonable search and seizures guaranteed to Americans by the United States Constitution.

We are supposed to accept these dirty little secrets. We are told that it is irresponsible to draw attention to President Bush's gross abuse of power and Constitutional violations. But what is truly irresponsible is to neglect to uphold the rule of law. We listened to the President speak last night on the potential for democracy in Iraq. He claims to want to instill in the Iraqi people a tangible freedom and a working democracy, at the same time he violates our own U.S. laws and checks and balances? President Bush called the recent Iraqi election "a landmark day in the history of liberty." I dare say in this country we may have reached our own sort of landmark. Never have the promises and protections of Liberty seemed so illusory. Never have the freedoms we cherish seemed so imperiled.

Much, much more. Please read it all.

Senator Byrd always carries a little red copy of the Constitution. I think he's read it. Bush should too. Hopefully he'll have plenty of time soon to do so, as the lights in jail are never fully turned off.

Take, take, take

That's the difference between the 'conservatives' and the Left. If you boil it all down, it is just that, 'taking' vs. 'giving'

The Repubs want to take away our rights.
The Left wants to preserve them.

The Repubs want to take away entitlement programs from the elderly and poor.
The Left wants to preserve them.

The Repubs want to legislate what you do in your bedroom.
The Left wants to preserve your privacy and allow consenting adults to feel love no matter their persuasion.

The Repubs say you must worship a god and a certain one at that.
The Left says you can worship whoever the hell you want, or nothing at all, as long as you don't force others to do the same.

The Repubs do not believe they should help their fellow Americans when a cataclysm leaves them destitute.
The Left believes we are one big family and we should take care of our own.

I think it's easy to tell right from wrong, easy to decide who represents the core values our nation was founded upon. I'd even venture to put forth that Jesus would have a big problem with what the Republican Party has done in His name.

Why would anyone treat our seniors like second-class citizens after they've broke their butts for 40 or 50 years? Especially take advantage of what should be the exalted portion of our society to enrich the millionaires of Big Pharma.

Why would anyone (let's face it, God does as much talking to Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell that he does to me) demand their religion be given a place of distinction over all the others practiced in this nation, going totally contrary to the principles of our foundation?

How can people watch their countrymen dying in the aftermath of a natural disaster and not lift a finger to help?

How can people willingly sacrifice the lives of their children to a war which is ill-considered at best and downright criminal at worst, at the word of leaders whose disdain for the military is legendary? For a war whom the only winners are Halliburton and its subsidiaries? Hint: they have the same disdain for your loved one; the only reason they feign respect for our military now is because it furthers their agenda. Halliburton is the reason for the Iraq War.

How can people willingly abdicate their rights to a man whose penchant for lying is also legendary and believe him when he says 'trust me to do the right thing'? Do you believe he only lied to the Left and to that meddlesome MSM? Do you feel he won't lie to you? Note to non-insider conservatives: You're about as necessary to the big shots as I am. The only difference between you and me is they can count on your vote. Once that goes away, you'll be sharing a cell next to me in Gitmo. The bright side is I can grow dope anywhere and Cuba has an excellent climate. We'll at least be stoned when they shove lightsticks up our asses.

And why would people who consider themselves 'Christian' support this agenda? Either you're that gullible, that hateful, or just that stupid. Word: Jesus preached tolerance and enlightenment. Think about it.

This country was founded by people escaping religious persecution, people escaping government meddling in their personal lives, and what have we become? We show disdain for people who are not white and Protestant. We close our borders and threaten our neighbors, neighbors who are also long-time friends. We kill close to a hundred thousand people whose only crime against us was having a leader who 'tried to kill mah daddy' and the fact they have huge oil reserves. We attempt to plunder natural resources not for our survival but for our profit, using any means possible to drill for oil in the last pristine wilderness in the US. This is what you have done to my country.

One day, many years in the future, when another, more enlightened race visits the dead planet known as Earth and finds the remains of a once great society that thrived here, they will probably attempt to discover what led to our downfall. It would not surprise me if their studies pointed to this time, this age of humanity where our greed and our egos began to get the best of us. On that day, from the depths of Hell, I will stand up and spit in the face of those who enabled it.

So I ask you, whose side is Jesus really on?

Walkin' Dope

Dope on the Slope's got some good stuff on the NY transit strike. Just scroll down, there are several.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Senate blocks attempt to allow ANWR drilling

CNN via The CultureGhost. Really cool photo of Stevens looking like he's ready to blow a gasket!

It was a stinging defeat for Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, one of the Senate's most powerful members, who had hoped to garner more votes by forcing senators to choose between supporting the drilling measure, or risking the political fallout from voting against money for the troops and hurricane victims.

Instead, Stevens found himself a few votes shy of getting his wish.

Wish in one hand...

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me

Cleek has a good take on Snoopgate.

You can trust us, we're the government! Well no, you can't trust us to run a national health care system, that's different. But you can trust us to know everything about everything everybody does, any time we want, with no oversight or public disclosure. And trust us, we'll never mix national security and domestic politics, besides, we're entitled to know all that stuff. It's our country - you just live here.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Those pesky Amendments to that Goddam piece of paper again!

Definitions

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The anti-American president

Vox Day is described as a "Christian libertarian". I never heard of him before, but I like some of the things he says - particularly the phrase "Three Monkey Republicans". He has a thing or two to say about Bush.

America was founded on the principle that it is right to sacrifice blood for liberty. It is telling that the Bush defenders make precisely the opposite argument, that it is right to sacrifice liberty in order to avoid the shedding of American blood. In this they are, like the Dear Leader, avowedly anti-American.

That George Bush is in open and repeated violation of his oath to uphold and defend the Constitution is no longer debatable. In keeping with his many anti-constitutional actions, he has publicly declared that he has no way of knowing what is, and what is not constitutional.

This attitude, while hardly unique in Washington, should be absolutely anathema to every American of all political stripes. And it appears that Americans are increasingly turning away from the president in rightful disgust. A recent poll here on WorldNetDaily showed that 45 percent of WND readers - who tend to lean strongly Republican - believe that George Bush deserves to be impeached.

I have heard the Snoopgate deal described as "security" versus "liberty". Bullshit. It's much more important than that.

It's "liberty" versus "fascism". So was World War Two, from our perspective. The Free World and the Communist World ganged up on fascism and defeated it, but this time resurgent fascism is being imposed from within, not from without. The Communsts aren't going to be any help.

The rest of the world is watching to see how we, the American people, handle it. They want to see if our brand of lackadaisical civic involvement and lip service to Democracy really works, and Bush is the biggest internal test it has ever faced.

This time, liberty, democracy, and the Constitution are ours to defend. Or lose forever on American soil.

Intolerable. Impeachable.

William Rivers Pitt gets with the program.

The breaking strain has been reached, and those ideals we hold so dear are indeed in mortal peril. The President of the United States of America has declared himself fully and completely above the law. The Constitution does not matter to him, nor do the Amendments. Laws passed to safeguard the American people from intrusive governmental invasion have been cast aside and ignored, simply because George W. Bush finds it meet to do so.

The worst part of this whole mess is the simple fact that Mr. Bush does not see anything wrong in this. This administration has steadfastly adhered to the idea that the Executive branch is supreme, beyond the bounds of the justice system and further empowered because we are "at war."

We're talking about getting a court order, he said. We value the Constitution, he said.

Lies.

Calls for the impeachment of George W. Bush must be heeded, and the House must act. This must happen not because it is pragmatic, not because it stands a chance of succeeding. This must happen because the issues at hand demand it. If we as a nation do not impeach a sitting President for such a vast array of blatantly illegal activities, activities directed at the American people themselves, then as a nation of laws we have lost our way. We have no meaning. We are finished, and the ideals for which so many have served and fought and died are ashes.

Please read the rest.

Incredible

Well, all we've managed to do was turn Iraq into 'New Iran'. Dr. Cole.

Transit Strike

I just saw a guy on the news, walking across the Brooklyin Bridge. He was heading from Atlantic Ave. in Brooklyn to 128th St. in Harlem. A walk I wouldn't want on a warm, sunny day let alone at 5:30 a.m. with a temp of 20 and a wind chill of 11.

Mrs. F talked to her cousin who lives on the Upper West Side and their entertainment yesterday was hanging out at 96th St. (There are no cars allowed south of 96th without 4 people in them), watching people try to talk the cops into letting them pass with less (yes, we have roadblocks up all over the place). This is the NYPD, ladies and germs, they've heard every bullshit line you can think of. You ain't getting downtown without a full load.

And I was correct yesterday when I said I thought most people who would have driven into the city took the day off. Watching the traffic report this morning, I see I'm gonna have to leave the house a bit early.

This is getting ugly.

Update:

Stupid shit on the road this morning. They shouldn't let people who've taken the train since the last strike (1980) suddenly drive. A normal 30-35 minute trip took me an hour.

I'm not the only one

Who's got a problem with Barack Obama. And for the same reasons as Matt.

...

Why not? Many reasons. Go back to Peter's report, and read it. Powerful actors, like the top-down media, will not attack the President unless they think he's weak. But to make the case that he is weak, he must be treated with contempt, and that cannot happen when party leaders like Barack Obama simply refuse to act creatively and risk driving up their disapproval ratings. I ask, for instance, why in speeches is Obama saying that Bush is not a bad man? Why is he saying that Bush loves his country? How does that help us make the case that Bush is a liar and a fraud? It doesn't. It in fact undercuts our case, and the fact is, we are right and he is wrong, and it is important that our case base be made. I know I'm going to get pushback in the comments, but let me ask you this. What in the world is the difference between Tweety saying that "Everybody sort of likes the president, except for the real whack-jobs" and Senator Obama saying that Bush isn't a bad man and loves his country? They are both echoes of the same conventional wisdom line that those who dislike the President are bitter angry vicious crazy partisans consumed by hatred, instead of Nobel prize winning scientists and professionals fed up with the systematic looting of the country by a gang of right-wing white collar criminals. Politics is about character, and George W. Bush and the right-wingers who support him simply don't have much. It's that, and not policy differences, that separates the two parties.

...


In fairness, it's not just Barack. It's also the other Dems who fancy themselves 'Centrists'. The thing that pisses me off about Obama is that he was the Golden Boy. He had the platform and the audience, and he's wasted it. Because of his race, he would have been able to stand up and call things as he saw them and the racist Repubs would have been handcuffed, unable to direct their hate-filled vitriol toward him for fear of being stuck with the label they so appropriately deserve. And what does Ol' Barack say?

...Let me say this - I don't think that George Bush is a bad man. I think he loves his country...


Well, that's a big fucking help. Note to Barack, and to Dems in general. This pussy ass talk isn't helpful. You're a black man, goddammit, stand up for your people who've been fucked over the most by the Chimp and his criminal enterprise.

Let's make a deal!

WASHINGTON, Dec. 20 - Jack Abramoff, the Republican lobbyist under criminal investigation, has been discussing with prosecutors a deal that would grant him a reduced sentence in exchange for testimony against former political and business associates, people with detailed knowledge of the case say.

Mr. Abramoff is believed to have extensive knowledge of what prosecutors suspect is a wider pattern of corruption among lawmakers and Congressional staff members. One participant in the case who insisted on anonymity because of the sensitivity of the negotiations described him as a "unique resource."

...


When Jack sings, Repubs swing.

Thanks: Atrios

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Heh...

Ann Coulter must perish!

It can happen here

We've traveled far down the road. Via Susie:

...

What happened here was the gradual habituation of the people, little by little, to being governed by surprise; to receiving decisions deliberated in secret; to believing that the situation was so complicated that the government had to act on information which the people could not understand, or so dangerous that, even if [t]he people could understand it, it could not be released because of national security. And their sense of identification with Hitler, their trust in him, made it easier to widen this gap and reassured those who would otherwise have worried about it.

...


Read it.

Sydney unites against racism

12th Harmonic has pics of Sydney's Harmony in the Park.

Please Oh Please...

I'm with Wolcott:

Dear Santa,

Please oh please let this be true, and I won't bug you for anything else this Christmas.

--Jimmy, a kid at heart

No shit! Me too!

Conyers, of course!

Stolen fully and completely from Shakes.

Ask your Congress Member to support Congressman Conyers' efforts to investigate the administration and possible impeachable offenses, and to censure Bush and Cheney.

Read House Resolution 635, which would create a select committee to investigate the administration's intent to go to war before congressional authorization, manipulation of pre-war intelligence, encouraging and countenancing torture, and retaliating against critics, and to make recommendations regarding grounds for possible impeachment.

Read HR 636 and HR 637, which would, respectively, censure Bush and Cheney for failing to respond to requests for information concerning allegations that they and others in the administration misled Congress and the American people regarding the decision to go to war in Iraq, misstated and manipulated intelligence information regarding the justification for the war, countenanced torture and cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment of persons in Iraq, and permitted inappropriate retaliation against critics of the Administration, for failing to adequately account for certain misstatements they made regarding the war, and-in the case of President Bush-for failing to comply with Executive Order 12958.

More at AfterDowningStreet.org / CensureBush.org here.

Failing the science test

Fundies can teach their kids to be dumber'n a bag o' hammers, or they can send 'em to college, but they can't do both, at least in the University of California system. They don't like this.

STUDENTS WHO HEAD OFF TO COLLEGE knowing nothing about evolution except that they shouldn't believe in it, and thinking that dinosaurs and people lived together, are not ready for university-level science courses. That is why the University of California is justified in rejecting a Christian school's creationism-based science course as college-prep material.

The course relies on textbooks that openly say they put religion before science. Yet Calvary Chapel Christian School in Murietta, along with a nationwide group of Christian schools, filed suit against the UC system, seeking to force its approval of this and other courses that baldly lack the required academic muscle.

It's one thing to supplement the teaching of science in private schools with religious beliefs, or to give arguments against evolution as well as for it. It's another to leave teenagers ignorant of the most basic scientific knowledge and still declare them fit for entry into a top mainstream university.

The six students in whose names the suit is filed are supposedly shocked that these courses aren't accepted by UC. But it's up to parents and students to pick coursework, both in private and public schools, that meets the requirements for UC admissions. People can teach and learn what they want on their own dime, but that doesn't give them the right to push publicly supported schools into doing the same.

They can be as dumb as they want, and raise their kids in their own image, but don't contaminate the smart kids and ask us to help pay for it. If they're stupid enough to believe this shit, they're plenty smart enough to go to some phony college like Bob Jones.

Some Life Lessons on a Mountain Trail

A really long article in the LATimes

Tensions flare during a Sierra trek by at-risk urban teens. In 10 days, they learn about lakes, lichen -- and, most important, themselves.

I'm glad my mountains are being used for something more worthwhile than skiing.

Dumbfounded carpoolers

Here's some comment on New York's transit strike.

An Intelligent Judge

AlterNet, and some comment as well.

A federal judge has ruled "intelligent design" cannot be mentioned in biology classes in a Pennsylvania public school district.

The Dover Area School Board violated the Constitution when it ordered that its biology curriculum must include "intelligent design," the notion that life on Earth was produced by an unidentified intelligent cause, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III ruled Tuesday.

Thank you, Your Honor. We now have a legal precedent.

Update:

The LATimes has a longer article, datelined 20 minutes ago! Damn, I'm good!

Congress: Investigate Bush's Illegal Domestic Spying

There's a letter at Act For Change that will be sent to your Senators, Congresscritter, and Abu ben Gonzales, requesting investigation of Bush's spy crime. You know what to do.

For once, Bush was right

Following up on Fixer's post, Jonathan Alter of Newsweek on Snoopgate.

No wonder Bush was so desperate that The New York Times not publish its story on the National Security Agency eavesdropping on American citizens without a warrant, in what lawyers outside the administration say is a clear violation of the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. I learned this week that on December 6, Bush summoned Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger and executive editor Bill Keller to the Oval Office in a futile attempt to talk them out of running the story. The Times will not comment on the meeting, but one can only imagine the president's desperation.

This time, the president knew publication would cause him great embarrassment and trouble for the rest of his presidency. It was for that reason - and less out of genuine concern about national security - that George W. Bush tried so hard to kill the New York Times story.

Ya done stepped on it big time this time, Georgie. You knew it all along, too. And you renewed the illegal program in writing thirty times. What did you think was gonna happen? That over 500 people in Congress were gonna let you shit all over them and the Constitution because you're such a wonderful leader that you can show arrogance and contempt for the law at will?

Not this time, you stupid motherfucker. I'm lovin' it!

This will all play out eventually in congressional committees and in the United States Supreme Court. If the Democrats regain control of Congress, there may even be articles of impeachment introduced. Similar abuse of power was part of the impeachment charge brought against Richard Nixon in 1974.

If such a blessed thing should occur, and we must make sure it does, the subpoenas and indictments will fly thick and fast and may block out the Sun!

Pretty cool

PSoTD asks the Question of the Day.

What is your tradition, if you have any, for Christmas Eve?


And it got me thinking. So I left this comment.

Going to my sister-in-law's for the Italian fish-a-thon. An eating orgy. The guest list is also fantastic. 2 Catholics, 4 Jews, 2 Hindus, and one Heathen (me). And yes, it is a Christmas celebration. Yes, we all sing Christmas carols. And no, I'm the only one who doesn't practice thier particular religion.


And I look back at it (aside from my misspellings) and I think, 'that's pretty fucking cool'. We do have a pretty cool family. We've been doing this for 15 years, BTW. Personally, I think Jesus would approve.

RICO filings

I think we should call the Republican takeover of the United States what it is. It is an organized criminal conspiracy. This goes far beyond the random acts by a few individuals. It has been coordinated by the leadership of the Republican Party, down to the local levels of government. In short, Organized Crime. That falls under RICO.

In 1970, Congress passed the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) Act, Title 18, United States Code, Sections 1961-1968. At the time, Congress' goal was to eliminate the ill-affects of organized crime on the nation's economy. To put it bluntly, RICO was intended to destroy the Mafia.

Throughout the 1970's, RICO's intended purpose and its actual use ran parallel to each other. Seldom was RICO used outside of the context of the Mafia, and it is not an overstatement to say that civil claims under RICO were simply not brought.

In the 1980's, however, civil lawyers noticed section 1964(c) of the RICO Act, which allows civil claims to be brought by any person injured in their business or property by reason of a RICO violation. Any person who succeeded in establishing a civil RICO claim would automatically receive judgment in the amount of three times their actual damages and would be awarded their costs and attorneys' fees. The financial windfall available under RICO inspired the creativity of lawyers across the nation, and by the late 1980's, RICO was a (if not the most) commonly asserted claim in federal court. Everyone was trying to depict civil claims, such as common law fraud, product defect, and breach of contract as criminal wrongdoing, which would in turn enable the filing of a civil RICO action.

...


I'm no legal beagle (the one that lives here [Mrs. F.] could tell you if you're culpable in a negligence case but criminal law is out of bounds) but I'm pretty sure the Republicans would qualify for indictment under the RICO Act. Any of you lawyers agree, disagree? Jane? ReddHedd?

Springtime in Teheran

I think Karena has her tinfoil hat on but then again, what we know as fact today was tinfoil hattery a few years ago.

...

This morning he let it slip during a press conference. He plans to invade Iran. When asked how he could expect American citizens or foreign countries to accept future intelligence reports on WMDs when he blames faulty intelligence on the lack of WMDs in Iraq, Bush slipped and mentioned Iran.

At first it looked like he would try to pass over his mumbled, "Iran," but then he forged ahead. He spoke of Iran's threat to annihilate one of our allies. He never mentioned Israel, but we all know that's what he means. Hold tight. He is planning to invade.

...


Either Iran or Syria in my book.

Secretude

Why does it seem like everybody connected to this domestic spying thing have some sort of culpability?

...

This time, the scoop is about a top secret meeting in the Oval Office, involving President Bush...and the two top officials of the New York Times. For the last four days, the Times has been writing about the domestic spying program of the Bush Administration, and they did indeed report that the newspaper's story was held for a year, give or take.

But not once in its coverage did the Times mention that publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and executive editor Bill Keller were summoned to the White House on Dec. 6, 13 days ago, in a last-ditch bid to get the newspaper to kill the story, which tonight has some members of Congress talking about impeachment.

No, for that morsel of news, we had to go to Newsweek's Jonathan Alter, who is reporting this tonight:

...


This news nugget would have made an excellent final paragraph to the Times story on Friday, but far be it the Times actually pushes the knife in and gives it a twist. It's time for Sulzberger and Keller to resign, not just over this but the Judy Miller fiasco as well. The New York Times, like the nation, is in dire need of new leadership.

Hat tip: Atrios

Fucking Greenpeace?

Or, J. Edgar Hoover lives.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 19 - Counterterrorism agents at the Federal Bureau of Investigation have conducted numerous surveillance and intelligence-gathering operations that involved, at least indirectly, groups active in causes as diverse as the environment, animal cruelty and poverty relief, newly disclosed agency records show.

...

One F.B.I. document indicates that agents in Indianapolis planned to conduct surveillance as part of a "Vegan Community Project." Another document talks of the Catholic Workers group's "semi-communistic ideology." A third indicates the bureau's interest in determining the location of a protest over llama fur planned by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

...


It would be something if they actually monitored conversations between...say...White Supremacists (remember Tim McVeigh) and other subversive groups (though still illegal without a warrant, understandable), but no, we're watching fucking Greenpeace. We're watching a bunch of vegetarians.

This has absolutely nothing to do with keeping America safe. This has everything to do with keeping an eye on the Chimp's political 'enemies'.

...

"You look at these documents," Ms. Beeson said, "and you think, wow, we have really returned to the days of J. Edgar Hoover, when you see in F.B.I. files that they're talking about a group like the Catholic Workers league as having a communist ideology."

...


The FBI should be dragging the Chimp and his henchmen out of the White House in handcuffs, not bugging the phones of fucking tree huggers.

Great thanks to Rising Hegemon for the link.

Monday, December 19, 2005

More spine

Via Atrios; Sen. Boxer of California:

...

On Sunday, December 18, former White House Counsel John Dean and I participated in a public discussion that covered many issues, including this surveillance. Mr. Dean, who was President Nixon's counsel at the time of Watergate, said that President Bush is "the first President to admit to an impeachable offense." Today, Mr. Dean confirmed his statement.

...

Given your constitutional expertise, particularly in the area of presidential impeachment, I am writing to ask for your comments and thoughts on Mr. Dean's statement.

...


Now we're talking!

A Byrd in the hand...

...

The President claims that these powers are within his role as Commander in Chief. Make no mistake, the powers granted to the Commander in Chief are specifically those as head of the Armed Forces. These warrantless searches are conducted not against a foreign power, but against unsuspecting and unknowing American citizens. They are conducted against individuals living on American soil, not in Iraq or Afghanistan. There is nothing within the powers granted in the Commander in Chief clause that grants the President the ability to conduct clandestine surveillance of American civilians. We must not allow such groundless, foolish claims to stand.

...

I continue to be shocked and astounded by the breadth with which the Administration undermines the constitutional protections afforded to the people, and the arrogance with which it rebukes the powers held by the Legislative and Judicial Branches. The President has cast off federal law, enacted by Congress, often bearing his own signature, as mere formality. He has rebuffed the rule of law, and he has trivialized and trampled upon the prohibitions against unreasonable search and seizures guaranteed to Americans by the United States Constitution. [my ems]

...


I hope the backbone some Dems are showing is contagious.

Thanks to Blue Collar Blog for the link.

Jane sez...

I didn't know which piece to rob. Go read the whole post.

Indeed...again

Via Shakes, this is what I want to hear:

House Judiciary Committee Democrats, spearheaded by Congressman John Conyers (D-MI), are set to release possibly the sharpest congressional critique to date surrounding Iraq, RAW STORY has learned.

The report, titled "The Constitution in Crisis: The Downing Street Minutes and Deception, Manipulation, Torture, Retribution and Coverups in the Iraq War," is slotted to be made available to the public Tuesday. RAW STORY acquired a copy of the book's cover and some additional information about the document today.

...

Indeed



Pic courtesy of Corpus Callosum.

Ethics...heh...

That word has lost its meaning over the past few years.

...

"I do not think you can argue today that Congress is a coequal branch of government; it is not," said Lee H. Hamilton, president of the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars. Hamilton, a former Democratic congressman and vice chairman of the Sept. 11 commission, told reporters this month: "It has basically lost the war-making power. The real debates on budget occur not in Congress but in the Office of Management and Budget. . . . When you come into session Tuesday afternoon and leave Thursday afternoon, you simply do not have time for oversight or deliberation."

...

Meanwhile, the House ethics committee has not opened a new case or launched an investigation in the past 12 months, despite outside investigations involving, among others, Cunningham and former lobbyist Jack Abramoff. [my em]

...

Transit Strike

It's supposed to go off here at midnight. To all you tourists contemplating Christmas in New York City or New Years in Times Square, this means there will be no bus and subway service within the 5 Boroughs (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, Staten Island). No, you can't rent a car instead, there is no place to park (literally), especially in Manhattan. Taxi? Good luck. Do yourself a favor, come here next year when this mess is settled. If they go out tonight, it's gonna get ugly.

Freedom

Preznit AWOL:

...

I also want to speak to those of you who did not support my decision to send troops to Iraq: I have heard your disagreement, and I know how deeply it is felt. Yet now there are only two options before our country - victory or defeat. And the need for victory is larger than any president or political party, because the security of our people is in the balance. I do not expect you to support everything I do, but tonight I have a request: Do not give in to despair, and do not give up on this fight for freedom.

...


Trust me, dickhead, I ain't giving up the fight until your ass is in jail or swinging at the end of a rope.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

More on Bush's "Fuck You"

The Rude One sums up Bush's "fuck you" speech in a haiku:

L'etat c'est moi, 'kay?
Once you accept that, you fucks,
We'll all get along.

That sums up Bush's arrogance and contempt for us and the Constitution quite nicely, I think.

Lexington and Concord

"A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free People."


Americans said this about the last King George who ruled this land.

Enemy of the State

This just makes me want to check out every book written in praise of Communism at my local library. Motherfuckers.

Accomplices

Jane sees the major news outlets as complicit in allowing Bush to win last year and it's time they felt some pain. I'd like to know a way we can straighten out the news media without having to give them all "one in the eye".

What I did on my summer vacation all year

It's that time of year again. The time when Christmas cards begin to show up with something extra. Money? No such luck. No just a piece of paper (or two) telling me everything the sender did in the past year. A taking stock sort of thing. Know what? Spare me.

1. I don't give a shit that little Johnny is now potty trained, or learned to wipe his own ass...finally.

2. Don't care that your neighbor finally got that growth (the one that looks like a second head) removed from his neck.

3. Don't care that your widowed father finally married that ex-stripper he's been seeing (who's 40 years younger than he) since your mother passed away, cheating you and your siblings out of your percieved inheritance.

4. Don't care that your piece of shit brother blew another parole hearing because he can't keep his trap shut for an hour and will have to spend at least another 18 months on Riker's Island.

5. Don't even give a shit that you found Jesus sometime between your 4th of July party and Labor Day and now you're waiting for the Rapture.

Look, if we don't know each other well enough for you to keep me apprised of the doings of your dysfunctional family during the year, I don't need to hear it all as I'm trying to sort through my mail. If we do know each other well enough, why in Hell are you reminding me of all the shit you put me through the past 365 days? I'm giving your gift to someone else now.

If you're a customer of mine, our relationship shouldn't even be on the level where you have to stick one of these rambling dissertations inside the card for the shop. I don't need to know what that smell, and the corresponding stain, in your car really was. Bring us beer instead. We'll like you better.

Look, what I'm saying is this. A Christmas (or any holiday) card brings out a smile, be happy with that. Do you have to bother me with a list of all the crazy shit you've done during the year? I got enough of my own shit to worry about at this time of year, be glad I don't tell you about it (those of you in inter-faith marriages know what I'm talking about). The wingnuts want to talk about a 'War on Christmas'? I'm declaring a war on the holidays. All of 'em are making me crazy.

And for something serious, check out AOB.