Gee, I wonder whose hand was on the throttle?

And, of course, no 'train wreck' analogy would be complete without a few lines from the old gospel number "Life Is Like a Mountain Railroad":

Life is like a mountain railroad,
With an engineer that's brave.
We must make the run successful
From the cradle to the grave.
Watch the curves, the fills and tunnels,
Never falter, never fail.
Keep your hand upon the throttle,
And your eyes upon the rail.

The only thing Bush has done is to hold his ideological wrongheaded fantasy WFO until it derailed us all at high speed.

A video of that number here. Caution: Watch yer blood pressure! These Methodists rock!

Yeah, those are real kneeslappers...

Attytood

The laughs we missed: If only Jay Leno and "SNL" had been there for Nixon, Hoover, and Lincoln

The biggest yuks came when Carson leaned over and said, "With all due respect, Mr. President, what's really on that tape that your secretary accidentally erased?"

Replied Nixon: "I can finally tell the nation that....", and he continued to move his lips for about 45 seconds without uttering a sound, as the audience roared its approval.

Asked by Carson why he agreed to go on the late-night comedy show, Nixon replied: "Because you are completely nuts -- and we ought to know, because we just burglarized your psychiatrist's office!"

Bada bing!

But seriously, folks, I'm wondering how Americans ever elected a president before "SNL" arrived to put it all in the proper perspective for us.

Yeah, I wonder. Note: Under the terms of The Pundit Full Employment Act, the 2012 election coverage will start on November 5th.

More on Randi

Left Talk Radio has a pretty good analysis of Randi Rhodes' suspension by Air America. The video that started the ruckus has been removed from YouTube but you can see it at Green 960.

whore (hôr) n.

1. A prostitute.
2. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

from The Free Dictionary.

I see nothing wrong with Randi's use of the word 'whore'. Musta been the preceding adjective...

As for the Rhodes suspension, this is not a free speech issue. It's an Air America issue. While Rhodes made the comments at a live event for one of her affiliates (Green 960), she represented Air America. And Air America has worked hard to curry favor among many in Washington, particularly the Clinton camp. This is a face-saving issue, designed to minimize the damage a controversy can do. I'm also certain that at least a few of Rhodes' listeners were quite shocked at her diatribe, with language so course that Sam Kinison must be blushing in his grave. Even still, as with most controversies, look for Rhodes to return to Air America soon, after the heat has died down. That's par for the course. Nonetheless, perhaps Rhodes stepped over the line a bit. Even with the raucous San Francisco audience, the tirade may have been a bit over the top. And it's appearance on YouTube is likely to scare away some of her fans. But like other controversial media personalities, such as Imus, Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and others, these people have jobs because they're controversial. We expect them to say outrageous stuff. Anyone who expects otherwise is delusional.

Much, much more.

Law Professor: "The president ordered war crimes"

I'm glad somebody besides us commies has finally said it out loud where people can see and hear it: Bush is a war criminal.

BradBlog, with video.

Says Bush Ran 'Premeditated, Carefully Orchestrated Torture Program'

Constitutional Attorney Jonathon Turley Tells MSNBC Congress Refuses To Investigate Because They 'Do Not Want to Deal With That Fact'

Jonathan Turley: It really is amazing because Congress, including the Democrats, have avoided any typed of investigation into torture because they do not want to deal with the fact that the President ordered war crimes. But evidence keeps on coming out - the only thing we don’t have is a group picture with a detainee attached to electrical wires. I mean every time we see more evidence we have more and more high ranking people at the scene of this crime. And what you get from this is that this was a premeditated and carefully orchestrated torture program. Not torture, but a torture program.

Thank you, Professor Turley. You get my "#10 Can O' Balls" award for the week.

I have kind of an off-topic question: Can any of you techie whizzes tell me how to reduce the size of the videos? I've been seeing that a lot lately and it would come in handy sometimes.

Mom steps on her weenie

Go see the video that got Randi Rhoads suspended from Air America.

"See? The liberals hate him. So it's safe for us to like him."

From The Nation, today's 'recommended read'.

We like to think of the American right as a finely honed mechanism--a "conservative noise machine." And most times over the previous decade, the metaphor worked. But these days, the movement can no longer keep its stories straight. It reminds me of the McCain website the day after the New York Times lobbying exposé, the same day the RNC sent out its fundraising letter accusing the Times of electioneering for the Democrats. To anyone who might doubt that the good old conservative machine is overheating from the confusion and strain, here is proof that the noisemakers had clearly neglected to coordinate their anti-Times fundraising push with the McCain campaign. For there was the Times endorsement on its website that same day, bold as brass.

The gears of the contraption are jamming. Let the contortions of a Michael Reagan or a Newsmax attest to that, if nothing else. The whole machine had always been built on a series of bluffs: that once the malign hand of the liberals was removed from the executive, legislative and judicial branches, our new conservative Jerusalem would be achieved. But something remarkable occurred in the five years between 2001 and 2006: for the first time since the rise of the modern conservative movement with the nomination of Barry Goldwater in 1964, then the rise of Newt Gingrich's revolutionaries in 1994, the right had a chance to control all three branches of government--to actually run the country. Naught but obvious failures have been the result: a crashing economy, a rotting infrastructure, a failed war and a less safe world, more Americans saying their nation is on the wrong track than at any time since pollsters started measuring.

In the face of all this, the conservative movement has kept on trying to do the only thing it knows how to do: sell conservatism. Saner heads in the Republican Party, meanwhile, have done their darnedest to put forward a presidential prospect who might let the party distance itself, if only rhetorically, from the disaster that conservatism in power has proved to be.

But without "conservatism" as the core narrative, the Republican Party doesn't know how to tell any stories at all. Its confusion over how to talk about McCain is only the symptom. The conservative era is over--if you want it.

I want it.

Inappropriate Hottie Rundown: Racially Diverse Pundit Edition

One positive result of the face of the Democratic primary is that cable news networks are increasingly looking to women and people of color for political commentary. Said a media expert, "We haven't ever had as much talk about women as voters, except as soccer moms. Now there's talk about white women, African-American women, women over 60, and what about Latinos?"

Indeed. Cable news is casting such a large non-white male net that the modern TV watcher can't be blamed for not knowing whom to sexually fantasize about. 23/6 aims to help:

Just go see. Regular readers of the Brain will know which one I follow with my pants down around my ankles. 'Lesbinadian' indeed!

Check out the links at the bottom too.

The Puppy Party

Will Durst has a piece on how the Democrats wrote rules years ago that pretty much ensured the primary campaigns would go like they're going. This is my favorite part:

Poor Hillary. Everybody wants her to quit. Nancy Pelosi wants her to quit. Michelle Obama wants her to quit. Wouldn't be surprised to hear Fidel Castro thinks she's been hanging on too long. Even pundits who don't really want her to quit are calling for her to quit because the next vote isn't for three weeks and they're caught in the Primary Dead Zone Vortex and like an excited terrier piddling in the stairwell at the sound of the key in the door, just can't help themselves.

The media chorus is as insistent as a 3am car alarm: "Its time to go. Leave now while you have a shred of dignity intact. You're ruining it for everyone. How can we hug and kiss Barack when you're still wrestling with him, you sweaty old hag?" She, in turn, has put a brave face on her acknowledged uphill battle, comparing herself to Rocky Balboa, but seems to have forgotten, that in the first movie, Rocky loses. To a black guy.

The Left has long held a deep-seated need to fall in love with their candidate and while people may respect Hillary, she's as cuddly as a stainless steel teddy bear. Dora the Diaspora. A burlap banky. Besides, like her beloved Chicago Cubs, there is always next year. Say the GOP does bury Obama like a bone in the backyard of the 2008 election; she can run in 2012 on the "I told you so" ticket.

The Nanny Party, however, rewrote the rules to make sure nobody accidentally gets their feelings hurt. Because every one of us is special. You win a state, you get SOME of the delegates. And if you come in second, you get some too. Third? You bet. Have a couple delegates. Take one of the short ones. Fourth. Fifth. Sure, what the hell. And counseling is available. Everybody's a winner here. Because this isn't about electing a President, this is about sharing and caring and nurturing. Nobody goes away feeling like a loser in the Democratic Party. Except during the general election that is.

Comic, actor, soon-to-be author, Will Durst, thinks Hillary Clinton is this close to becoming a stalker.

As serious as the outcome of the general election will be, there's a lot of gritty and sarcastic humor in it.

McCain: Easy Rider

"An easy rider is a person that is not a pimp, but he lives off a woman; he lives off a whore. He's her easy rider. He's the one that she loves and she gives money to. He doesn't pimp her, but he's her easy rider."

I was reading this article about Cindy McCain being a multi-millionaire beer (well, OK, maybe not beer exactly. Budweiser.) distributing heiress, and I remembered this little ditty:

"I've got a girl,
Who could ask for more?
She's a millionaire and oversexed
And owns a liquor store."

Livin' the dream is the one thing I'll never hold against McCain!

Dr. King Revisited

Jeff Cohen

Last night NBC Nightly anchor Brian Williams enthused over new color footage of King that adorned its coverage of the 40th anniversary of the assassination. The report focused on the last phase of King's life. But the same old blinders were in place.

NBC showed young working class whites in Chicago taunting King. But there was no mention of how elite media had taunted King in his last year. In 1967 and '68, mainstream media saw Rev. King a bit like they now see Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

One phrase that I remember from those days was "uppity nigger that don't know his place". We don't hear that any more, or at least I don't, thank God. Today they would just call him a 'traitor' like we've all been called for telling the truth, or maybe a 'racial firebrand' for bringing up a subject that white people in particular don't want to think about.

Back then they denounced King's critical comments; today they simply silence them.

While noting in passing that King spoke out against the Vietnam War, mainstream reports today rarely acknowledge that he went way beyond Vietnam to decry U.S. militarism in general: "I could never again raise my voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos," said King in 1967 speeches on foreign policy, "without having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today -- my own government."

If King had survived to hear the war drums beating for the invasion and occupation of Iraq -- amplified by TV networks and the New York Times front page and Washington Post editorial page -- there's little doubt where he'd stand. Or how loudly he'd be speaking out.

And there's little doubt how big U.S. media would have reacted. On Fox News and talk radio, King would have been Dixie Chicked...or Rev. Wrighted. In corporate centrist outlets, he'd have been marginalized faster than you can say Noam Chomsky.

In 1967, King denounced a Democratic-controlled Congress for fattening the Pentagon budget while cutting anti-poverty programs, declaring: "A nation that continues year after year to spend money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death."

The name of the party has changed is about all. Any spirituality in the running of this country died with the rise of conservatism after 1968.

St. Thomas

Shopping in St. Thomas is a regular thing for us. The ladies at the jewelry stores smile when Mrs. F comes in. This time though, I was the one who had a shopping bonanza. Amazingly, Mrs. F found nothing that blew her skirt up.

And let me tell ya about Gladys.

Heading home now. Two 'at sea' days before we make NYC but I'll be continuing my "Around the Queen" series until I use up my internet time. Later.

The Real News

Go see some video news you probably won't see anywhere else.

St. Lucia

I wasn't impressed with St. Lucia at all. Yes, it's a quaint, pretty island, but it's getting like Jamaica (I'll do a post on that one day). If you want my advice about staying at a Caribbean resort, stick to the Dutch islands. If it's a stop on a cruise itinerary, it's not a deal wrecker, but I wouldn't bother going ashore the next time.

And just a note, I'm sorry about not commenting much but Cunard Line is charging me $30/hour for wifi and it's slower than shit to begin with. In St. Thomas today and we'll be heading back to NYC tonight, arriving Sunday. I'll be back in form probably by Monday or Tuesday depending on the logistical nightmare left for us after mom-in-laws' passing and getting dad-in-law squared away.

I'm Proud to Be One Too

I read at Think Progress that the asshole Feith says that anybody who equates torture with the loss of moral authority is "siding with the assholes". I was going to post on it, but Ornery Bastard did a way better job than I could, so - what 'Nucks said. Go see. He's got the links.

Note to Feith: Fuck you, you dumb sonofabitch. Come over here and call me an asshole if there's anything left of you after the Ornery Bastard gets done with you, you fuckin' prick. Fat fuckin' chance you'd have the balls, you chickenhawk jerkoff.

More Bush Legacy

Think Progress, with comments. Liquid alert!

SFist reports that the enterprising Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is looking to rename Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility to the “George W. Bush Sewage Plant.” The group explains it seeks to “select a fitting monument to this president’s work” and to “honor George W Bush for his eight years of honorable public service.” “No other president in American history has accomplished so much in such a short time,” the group notes.

I applaud the sentiment, but I think they're missing the point. Sewage plants are supposed to turn wastewater back into clean water. Everything Bush has touched has turned to shit. He'd have to have a stste-of-the-art treatment facility hooked directly to his asshole, for that is from whence he speaks.

The Price At The Pump

Click to embiggen

Bad Voodoo's War

If you missed "Bad Voodoo's War" on PBS the other night, please watch it. Well worth a look.

The producer gave some National Guard troops a buncha video cameras and let them do the filming. Their duties consisted mostly of convoy escort, which is weeks of boredom punctuated by moments of terror.

There'll be another episode as the unit is in Iraq 'til May. Barring stop-loss, of course.

Update:

Belay 'There'll be another episode'. Bum scoop, my bad. Please read the nice 'comment' we got from the show's producer and bookmark accordingly to keep up with the platoon.

An Impressive Display Of French Canadian Anti-Tank Technology

Barbados

We took a couple tours, to a distillery and a brewery. You sense a pattern here? Heh ... It was nice to sample some of the local offerings.

Also, Queen Mary is a romantic, storied ship. We take advantage.

We're in St. Lucia today and tomorrow I'll tell you why you'd never get me back here unless a cruise ship we were on just happened to stop there. Wouldn't go ashore again though. Oy!

Movers and Sheikhs

Transcript of an online interview with Steve Coll during his book tour:

Steve Coll, author and president of the New America Foundation, was online Tuesday, April 1, at 3 p.m. ET to discuss his new book, "The Bin Ladens (review by Richard Clarke - G)," which was reviewed in Book World.

New York, N.Y.: Chances of ever catching Bin Laden? Zero or less than zero?

Steve Coll: I think the chances are better now than they have been for a while. His popularity in Pakistan has fallen dramatically because he is seen as responsible for a wave of suicide bombings on Pakistani soil. These hunts in Pakistan have ended in the past usually because somebody drops a dime on the fugitive. That seems more likely now, because of his falling popularity, but of course, you can't predict these things with any great confidence.

_______________________

Washington D.C.: Biggest Bush mistake re: Osama?

Steve Coll: Giving Osama the narrative of total global war that Osama wanted.

Bush should have never been allowed to rise beyond Austin. Fucking Texas up is one thing, nobody cares, but his unbelievable arrogance and incompetence, not to mention an evil ideology, has fucked up the world. Bin Laden is no damned good either, but he's ten times smarter than our so-called president.