Bumpkins Invade D.C.

I'm so sure you've heard about the little puddle-jumper that invaded D.C. that I'm not even going to bother linking to it, but I have some thoughts on the incident. Duh.

Bush was in more danger from his fuckin' bicycle, which he was off ridin' in the park instead of being at work (that's "at work" as opposed to "working", which he has shown no inclination of doing as yet), than from the air assault. He's the only guy I've heard of that somehow managed to fall off a Segway, fer Christ's sake! Years of drinkin' and druggin' can wreak havoc on yer balance, so I'm told.

I think the upshot of this deal is that the Feds overreacted as usual, inconveniencing maybe 35,000 people and spending millions of our dollars, unnecessarily no doubt. Those are what they do best and, hey, ya gotta go with whatcha know.

The poor slobs who caused this mess are in deep guacamole. They were on their way from Pennsylvania to North Carolina. I looked at a map. The straight shot goes right over D.C. The FAA has put out the word in no uncertain terms NOT to fly there, but somehow these rocket scientists missed it. If the authorities are makin' the Runaway Bride pay for the public outlay in her case, and they apply that criterion to these clowns, they'll be eatin' rice 'n beans forever. If they're lucky, that is.

I have a certain amount of empathy for these guys, tho'. I got to thinking the same thing could happen to me 'n Fixer. Or to any of us. Picture this: you're on a road trip. You decide to enjoy it, so you turn off the C.B., crank up the tunes, pop a cold one, light a fatty, and put the hammer down while dancin' with your left foot and generally jokin' around. At the same time as a chemical plant explodes ten miles away. If you somehow miss the ensuing sea of red lights and sirens...well, you get my drift.

My advice to the gummint? Them F-16's are too fast for this kinda work. Dust off some P-47 Thunderbolts or F4U5A Corsairs. They're plenty fast enough to catch a Cessna and a lot cheaper to run. Them big round motors sound good, too.