[Given the overlapping developments of troublesome polls in Connecticut, and the sudden illness of Fidel Castro, Senator Joe Lieberman announced today that if he fails to beat Ned Lamont in next week's Democratic primary, he intends to run for the position of El Commandante in Cuba.
Lieberman emphasized that he would look forward to running under Cuba's electoral system, where he wouldn't be subjected to the type of degrading primary challenges that a three-term U.S. Senator has to put up with.
Senator Lieberman also discounted any problems created by cultural differences, saying that as an orthodox Jew, he would have no problem growing a Castro-like beard.
"Besides," Lieberman added, "the Cuban and Jewish people have a lot in common; they both prefer Florida to their home countries."
Lieberman, anticipating the worst-case scenario in the Connecticut primary, also went out of his way to praise Cuban culture, asserting "that unlike some former President who shall go nameless, Cubans know what to do with a good cigar."
In related news, President Bush, sick of trying to clean up his own messes, cited the developments in Cuba as a precedent for handing power over to brother Jeb. However, this met with strong objections from a bi-partisan majority in Congress, who expressed a preference that Bush be succeeded by Raul Castro.
Finally, asked about the scenario of a Jew getting embroiled in the politics of a Latin communist dictatorship, Woody Allen was quoted as saying that it was absolutely "Bananas."]
I about went "bananas" trying to pick a quote from that for you, so I didn't.
No comments:
Post a Comment