Saturday, October 21, 2006

"...reminiscent of a goat that had been struck between the eyes with a tire iron ..."

A double dose of Saturday snark. First a review of Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush:

In Destined for Destiny, Dikkers joined with Peter Hilleren to "help" write Bush's "unauthorized autobiography" -- a description as impossible as Douglas Adam's five-book "trilogy" on hitchhiking the galaxy -- and lets the voice and comedy of WRA's George Walker Bush guide us on a satiric odyssey of the life of a man who will forever remain the epitome of "The Peter Principle."

Dikkers and Hilleren have a lot to work with, from Prescott's efforts to aid the Nazis in WWII to Bush's future presidential library. Add to that a running gag involving Jesus' personal involvement in Bush's every decision -- and the hilarious photo essay showing Jesus' involvement -- and this book will make you laugh out loud in quiet reading rooms and on crowded public transportation.

Excerpts:

On Barbara Bush:

"Apart from my mother, George H. W. Bush is the finest man I ever knew. My father met my mother at a debutante party when she was 30. He was immediately enchanted by her horse-like beauty, her forceful nature, and her immense stature."

On meeting Laura Bush:

"I was blessed with the good fortune of meeting a wonderful small-town Texas woman who had a dazed and clueless stare reminiscent of a goat that had been struck between the eyes with a tire iron -- a halting kind of beauty which every man desires in a woman."

I'm glad the authors found something funny to write about that pathetic little wimp.

Second, the tabloids' and MSM's treatment of the Bushes:

You won't read it on the front of the New York Times (although they were eager to place under a microscope every salacious inquiry into the marriage of the Clintons).

But you will find it blaring as the front-page stories of the tabloids read by Bush voters in the fly-over states.

National Examiner Cover - Bush Marriage Over!"Bush Marriage Over! Laura Erupts After Drinking Binge," is the cover story of the October 23, 2006, National Examiner.

Globe - Bush Divorce Deal"Bush Divorce Deal: Laura Wins, Condi Loses," is the "World Exclusive" that the Globe ran in a photo-filled cover on August 14, 2006.

You may want to patronizingly dismiss tabloids, but remember that they almost did Bill Clinton in, as the mainstream papers cribbed from them to run front-page stories on Bill and Hillary.

This time, the mainstream media is adopting a double-standard and avoiding the allegations that the tabloids are boldly making. But the point to remember here is that the real readers of these publications are, in large part, the people who normally have voted for Bush.

Many of them are religious, and they aren't going to look kindly on the charges of boozing and philandering by Bush. Not at all.

If you are wondering about what might hurt Bush the most in the red states -- and have a spillover effect on the Congressional races -- these covers from the National Examiner and Globe may have more impact than FoleyGate and the Iraq debacle.

Don't snicker. This is the kind of grass roots tar that sticks.

Who knows, it may even be true.

Sorry, BuzzFlash - I'm snickering, and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, though it would be icing on the cake if it was. It's hilarious on one level, but disturbing on this one: there are folks out there, Americans who vote, who think they can't print something if it isn't true. That's also the basis for the success of F** N**s. Hey, if it's on TV (other than the Librul Media of course) it has to be true or they couldn't say it. Scary. On the other hand, if it makes them less likely to vote for Repuglicans, it's good scary.

I'll admit to a childish glee at Mrs. G's childish glee when she discovers these juicy George/Laura headlines on the covers of those birdcage liners (is that cruelty to animals?) while we're in the supermarket checkout line on Saturdays. She doesn't touch them!

Further, in the good Progressive spirit of transparency and disclosure, I'll cop to reading those rags at my late Mother-in-law's house. She usually had a stack of 'em. Reading those things is like riding a moped: it's fun, but you don't want your friends to see you.

The one tabloid headline that I'm sorry I missed was in '46: "Bar Gives Birth To Alien Space Baby!"

[Welcome BuzzFlash readers, make yourselves da home. ~ Fixer]

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